Rich ‘friend’ harassing me

I’ve been in your shoes OP, I grew up very poor and often not able to afford the basics. I’m thankfully in a different situation now but the ignorance of those who have never been poor still astounds me! People can’t understand that you simply don’t have the money and no way to get it!

Millions live on the brink everyday. My mum lived that way her whole life. People need to be less ignorant and more understanding.

Why would you go out drinking when you’ve not got enough money for sanitary towels? Particularly with an idiot like this! Pay him back asap and get rid of him. Find someone better to hang out with!

Don't want to stick the boot in but...you shouldn't keep animals if you can't afford vet bills.

Pay back as soon as possible and have nothing to do with this person. There's something dark in their character and you know it deep down.

there are many kind responses on this thread but also, not surprising, so many people who still have the mentality that poor people who can’t afford basics shouldn’t ever enjoy themselves. This is Tory narrative that I really hope the new government will help shift people from and highlights how big an issue this mentality is.

Poor peoples financial status doesn’t change from having the odd day out or treat. I understand that people will find it hard to comprehend why people with little money would put themselves in certain positions, but when money is soemthing you never have and it’s always a worry and you don’t get holidays or the mince you buy is always the small pack of 20% fat and fresh fruit isn’t even a question unless it’s the £1 pack of children’s sizes apples or oranges, you have to find some distraction from how miserable life is sometimes.

It does not change your long term finances. I’ll be poor this month as I will next month and the months and years after that. I will never own my home, or go on foreign holidays. And lending £40 for an afternoon in the sun after working all week is a small price to pay to forget all that for a few hours.

Also my pets are worked into my monthly budget to be fed, flead and wormed. In the past I’ve worked over time for them to be neutered and chipped. They’ll always eat before I do. They are the only source of constant happiness I have. They keep me warm in winter when I can’t afford to keep the heating on long, they stop me from crying in what would be an otherwise empty house at the end of a hard day. They are loved and looked after beyond imagination and they are absolutely a priority.

Because I had money to live on at the time but not spare for some drinks. Then unexpected vet bills wiped me out on food and toiletries money. I can pay him back on pay day. The vet bills were unforeseen. And no, I don’t have savings as I don’t earn enough to save. This is the realities of being working class. But go ahead and tell poor people how they can’t enjoy a few drinks in the sun as an escape of our miserable lives every other day. We deserve to have some fun too.

Ffs have some of you not read the information

op had wages enough to cover normal household expenses (but not luxuries) until next wage came in (next week)

friend asked her to go out for drinks, op replied I don’t have money for luxuries so he said il lend it she said il repay next pay day (next week)

after drinks night cat got unexpectedly ill so the wage which was meant to cover essentials (including sanitary supplies) was wiped out.

op is now having to go without until next wage comes in because the money she had budgeted to last until next week went on the vet bill.

in The middle of all this male and his friends is asking for the money to be returned a week earlier than agreed when it was lent to her.

she didn’t make any choices knowing there was no money to cover essentials!

she made choices then her circumstances unexpectedly changed.

this is the reality of living with low wages and literally only just earning enough to cover living expenses, it means an unexpected event destroys the money budgeted to last until the next wage.

I know some of you will jump on saying that means she shouldn’t have pets or drink at all or have anything that most would class as above an essential etc but that’s not how life works if it’s your permanent position rather than doing a low wage job while waiting for a better one to come along for some people that is their life forever.

Most of the time she manages perfectly well on the little amount that comes in and it covers all the choices she has made (rent, pets, bills etc) but occasionally something will happen that means she has to pull back or go without until the wage tops her back up again because there is no savings to fall back on.

@Brunchclub I know you’ll pay him once the wage comes in but my advice is don’t continue to be friends because he has treated you horribly and I know you know this but don’t borrow for luxuries. It’s hard I know iv been there sometimes you just want to say fuck it i deserve a treat but this is a perfect example of why not. You can’t know the future so don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re going to have to find money that could well be spent on something else at the next wage to pay for a luxury you couldn’t afford the week/month before it only leaves you feeling worse!

Don't want to stick the boot in but...you shouldn't keep animals if you can't afford vet bills.

Send the money on the date said, and keep him blocked. Don't even message to say it's there.

You need to avoid people like that, he sounds like a using junkie.

They are all currently blocked anyway. I told him I’d pay him when I said but I have blocked now as it won’t make a difference having him harass me or not as I won’t have the money until I said.

If there is no immediate prospect of someone's finances improving, pets are a luxury. A luxury they can no longer afford. So yes, rehome them. Being in the situation that an unexpected vet bill (presumably because uninsured, or having to pay the excess) leaves you unable to afford basic sanitary protection is ludicrous.

The OP is the important one here. She should be able to afford the basics. And she can't, because she is feeding and medicating multiple animals.