If your kids use screens in a restaurant

YANBU, I'm not a fan of screens at mealtimes and don't use them with my own, but sometimes needs must and I'm sure there's parenting decisions I make that others wouldn't (not least the beige food covered in ketchup my children would be eating while not on screens!). But hate hate hate when people play videos or music without headphones. Even when it's quiet, the noise is different to the background noise in a cafe or restaurant.

But it's not just kids in restaurants, happens all the time on the train which is at least as infuriating - and that's typically adults who grew up without screens.

We did, and the invention of washing machines was/is indeed tremendous, but they don’t bother anyone else in restaurants. Well hopefully they don’t. I do get the point you’re making though.

I do agree that I can’t get worked up about kids watching screens etc in public for any reason, as long as I don’t have to listen to it either/headphones are used. Then they can crack on.

Honestly! The thread was about the use of headphones and now it’s about children who use screens in a restaurant, generally. I wish people would just give other parents a break really😅

A very sensible view!

I really cannot bring myself to be bothered how other people parent when it doesn’t impact upon me. You have no idea what’s going on in that persons life - have they had a bad day and this is the only thing that will soothe the child? So, they’ve got a screen. Big deal. Headphones on though, please!

Oh and I don’t think it matters if they’re an NT or otherwise non disabled child, if they’re happy watching a bit of TV, it’s absolutely none of my business.

We managed before washing machines too but I was still very unhappy and put out when mine broke!

Parent your child how you like, just don’t make me have to listen to it. Use headphones.

Without screens, we just would not have left the house when ASD dd was young. She would not have been exposed to the experience of being out and about with ever decreasing screen time. I highly doubt we would now have a teenager who can fully participate in meals out

Ah bless,

They're bloody hard work when they're dysregulated!

You never know what shit they are going to pull next.

Just keep doing what you need to do to keep the show more or less on the road and try not to think of the "ought to" which probably only applies to the none disabled.

Since we now have screens, that's irrelevant imo.

This with bells on.

As a mum to an autistic child I know a lot of parents of disabled children through groups etc. specifically for us. I also know a lot of parents of NT kids in my family and general friendship circle. It is overwhelmingly those who have ND kids who will use tablets and devices when out and about. 99% of my friends with neurotypical kids are in the ‘no we don’t allow that’ camp.

Please if you are going into a restaurant or cafe and see a child using screens, you are just seeing a tiny snapshot of that family’s day and life. You have no idea what their situation is.

how do ypu think we managed before screens?

For better, for worse, we live in the world that we live in. Parents are parenting in completely different circumstances, in a society where we're always "on" and with different stresses and strains than in the past. It's unrealistic to expect all parents to parent as if it was 20/30 years ago.

Edited to add:
That said, I do agree with the OP that people should show consideration for others. And others should show consideration too by keeping their noses out of other people's parenting.

I'm don't think smart phones and their general usefulness in society due to technological advances can be compared on the same level to absolutely having to have tablets to keep children calm and entertained during a meal in a restaurant, ND or otherwise.

I also don't believe the whole 'it was on so low, it wouldn't have bothered other patrons, especially due to the behaviour they were having to endure anyway'. Take them bloody out then! I bet they were bothered. So so rude, selfish and entitled. No electronics without headphones should be the standard rule. If a child, ND or not, can't or won't adhere to this then that restaurant is not for you.

Yep.

The volume of a meltdown would be worse...and teach the other kids vocabulary you'd rather them not learn...

Not just kids - ANYONE using a device in public need to use blooming headphones…

regularly travel on public transport and regularly want to throw devices out of the window as adults scroll through instagram or tic toc etc with blasting music videos…

drives me insane!!!!

I don’t care how you parent your kid nor how you entertain yourself on the train - but I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO IT!

USE HEADPHONES OR SOUND OFF

(and breathe….)

I don’t know why I click on these threads because the comments always drive me crazy. When you look at a parent with children who are using screens, why do you think you know the whole story to be able to judge them?

I have two children aged 2 & 3. 2 year old has a disability due to a genetic disorder and 3 year old has Autism. You wouldn’t know it when you look at them but my 2 year old gets so overwhelmed when being in a busy place, so much so that we hardly go to restaurants. The 3 year old? Mate. She will go crazy in a restaurant. She’ll want to climb on seats, she’ll jump off of her seat and try to run around. Can’t put her in a high chair because she’ll scream bloody murder.

In an attempt to prevent this madness, I’ll give her my phone to watch Peppa Pig or whatever the hell will make her quiet. She doesn’t wear headphones because she can’t deal with the sensory feedback it gives her. The volume will be so quiet, she practically can’t hear what’s said but as she watched the same shows over and over again, she probably knows it word for word. No, I can’t get out colouring with her because she’ll eat the crayons and draw all over the table with felt tips. No, I can’t bring a toy because that’s going to get thrown at someone’s head.

I can go on and on really. I think the OP is really reasonable but some of the comments? Just crazy. It’s hard enough trying to go to a restaurant with two toddlers let alone someone accusing you of lazy parenting just so that everyone can enjoy a bit of peace and quiet?! Luckily, we only go to family friendly places like Nando’s, TGI’s were it’s noisy as fuck anyway

Previous generations also survived without smartphones but I don't see many people handing theirs back.

I think you have highlighted something for me. I am completely accepting and tolerant of any and all ND manifestations, whatever the form, far more so than noise from devices which I find preoccupy my own thoughts and conversations, I can't block them out and I find it massively overstimulating.

Thank you for your comment.

I can answer this one. As someone who worked in hospitality for many years, staff aren't paid nearly enough, or have anywhere near enough time, to worry about kids on tablets.

It is lazy parenting because all of us survived eating out without devices. Can't the parents actually engage with their children? Ds is 19 now but we never once took a device out with us in order to "occupy" him. We chatted to him, taught him eating out etiquette and he was fully engaged and enjoying the experience. I hate to see kids staring at screens in restaurants etc completely detached from their family and the world around them whilst mindlessly eating.

No but it was on so quietly no one else would hear and we were sitting outside.

I guarantee you the surrounding guests would have felt relief at the situation considering what we all had endured (including them) for the last 15 minutes.

As I said screens for us are not a planned event. I don’t even think of using a phone at dinner. This was us about to walk out and trying as a last resort. And I doubt headphones would have gone down well anyway. This is a 2 year old we are talking about.

@123letsblaze it really isn’t. Educate yourself.

My NT kids never had screens because they were easy to parent- give them a colouring book and job done. Didn’t make me any better or ‘less lazy’ than other parents who use screens, just had a much easier set of circumstances. Nothing to feel smug or superior about.

It's lazy parenting. My 4 year old takes a toy with him when we go places.