If your kids use screens in a restaurant

I’d like to know, what is wrong with occasional ‘lazy parenting’?

Absolutely nothing. But when that 'lazy parenting' affects someone else, whether it's a one off or a lot, it becomes a problem.

How did families manage in restaurants years ago before the arrival of these bloody screens? Oh kids were taught how to behave!

What baloney, I'm not sure my parenting good or bad, has that kind of impact on strangers

I’d like to know, what is wrong with occasional ‘lazy parenting’?

Must patenting be constantly working to prove what an amazing mum or dad you are? What’s wrong with the occasional meal out because you’re knackered and just want to eat something without having to help a 3 year old stick their stickers in the right place.

Assuming a parent who gives their child a screen at a restaurant in order to eat something while it’s still hot, is a bad parent is utterly bizarre. It might have followed a day spent interacting with them and doing wonderfully educational and worthy activities, for all you know.

Ive got 4 children, from teenage down to aged 8. All can sit beautifully and are complimented on their behaviour in restaurants. None require a screen, nor do we use them now. But did I sometimes give them a screen so I could have a conversation with my husband after spending all day at home with them? Fucking right I did. Because I’m not a mummy martyr. Headphones or sound off though, obviously.

All the judgey pants parents could remember that, given that nobody is perfect, there’s probably aspects of their parenting that others would think was wrong.

Yes and no. I'd be amazed if the couple on the flight behind us who saw nothing wrong with their 4 year old kid watching tablet before the fight had even taken off while they got drunk were very different day to day. Perhaps they are, who knows. And if you're so prepared you have a tablet with the right videos ready I doubt it's a one off.

But also so what if it is a rare occurrence? I don't look at these parents and think "those people are terrible parents". If the iPad is on silent I don't even look at them or form an opinion at all. But if my attention goes that way because of their loud device I think something like "that's annoying me and also it's bad for their kids". This is true. It's even more true if they do it all the time.

Edit to add: I don't think this makes people bad parents, obviously. I'm sure everyone does things that aren't great. My kid doesn't eat and vegetables and I don't try that hard to cook things with hidden veg. But I really don't see why people are acting like it's massively bad to judge parents who have their NT kids on tablets. We all have opinions on what's good and bad, surely few people think that it's actually better to be on a tablet.

We always took sticker books, crayons etc and maybe we were lucky but it was enough to distract DS when he wasn't eating (not a huge appetite at that stage) so we'd still get to eat. He uses his phone at times now (13) but only with headphones and only after we've at least had a chat or a game of uno.

Too late to edit my above comment, but just wanted to add that my eldest is autistic, and the loud noise from the tablet over the sound of the film really really troubled her. Really, the mother should have come in to take her son out, as he wasn't watching the film at all. The mother wasn't watching it either, she came in at the start to bring them all in, then she came to meet them at the end, the place we were in, there was no way she could possibly of had an appointment or anything (we were on a ship), so really, it was just inconsiderate of others.

Also, to add, I have misophonia, so the noise was really bothering me too, I cannot cope with multiple background noises.

We mainly go to carvery or buffet style restaurants with our disabled children. They can sit and eat nicely at the table now (most of the time) but they can't sit and wait for ages for their meal. We don't use screens while out and about as it doesn't really work for them but I think it's great that they help other children. When they were younger and couldn't sit still at the table we just got a takeaway instead.

@Barbaranice ’These autistics’ are you okay there Barbara? You sound ignorant as FUCK. Maybe those with Autism weren’t out in public spaces and shunned away inside. Maybe they were viewed as badly behaved?

No one’s saying they can’t self regulate but when they’re in an extremely noisy and stressful environment, they’re able to zone out and regulate themselves with a screen. Unless you’d be happy with a child spinning in a corner in order to regulate themselves but I’ll be honest, you don’t sound like the type who wants to educate themselves

But you are basing this on one GENERAL interaction. They might go out 365 days a year and interact with their kids 360 of those days but might just have had a shit morning/day/week and just want some peace and quite while they are doing what they are doing without the mental strain of having to entertain a small being.

parenting is 24/7- let parents have a break when they want to.

They didn't so they were kept out of the public. Hence the hysterical "why are so many autistic people nowadays, I never knew one back in my day" comments. I know some people wish to go back to such "glory days" but.. tough titties.

@Barbaranice uneducated, narrow-minded, ignorant ableist people deserve far more judgement tbf

Well we lived in a less tolerant society where many autistic children were locked up. I'm sure that's what you probably would like wouldn't you. Hide them away keep them out of sight !
My child is autistic and won't tolerate headphones we try to ensure he does drawing before he eats and then we give him his tablet so we can eat our dinner. It works for us and if people want to judge then judge away - as I really don't give two figs!

“These autistics”

fucking hell are you ok?

All the perfect parents on here. I’ll continue to take my autistic 12 year old out with his iPad and AirPods thanks. Judge away. We stayed at home for years because I was embarrassed, not any more. Approach me, tut at me, give me the side eye. IDGAF. F you.

An ‘excuse’

Ableism is disgusting

I once had someone with their children in the cinema, and one child had their tablet on FULL volume. We couldn't hear the film at all, so I went up to the dad, and asked him to turn it right down as we couldn't hear the film. He then told me his son was deaf, I glanced at his son and then saw the hearing aids, I felt awful, so walked back to my seat BUT then thought, why on earth is it ok to bring a tablet with full volume on the cartoon they're watching into a CINEMA (regardless of disability)???

If your child gets distressed without a “tat bag” is it fair to take him?

who are you to judge the methods that work for others?

YANBU!! It's so bloody intrusive and rude.

Children with autism were probably taken out less or shunned as being 'naughty' and their behaviour judged.

Most wouldn’t have been out in public, but there again I think we still have too many in society would prefer if they were kept out of sight.

let’s not forget it’s not that long ago that those with autism ended up institutionalised!

These autistics?? Wow!!

Vile little c**t