Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Binge drinking

34 replies

Magicunicornpower · 07/07/2024 12:29

Am I the only woman here that can't stand my husband getting late at home and wasted?
Together for a long time and I just can't get over it, and the careless shi** that happens when he gets to this point. I also think it's a terrible example for our kid. Proud binge drinker he says as he is still functional the next day. He says this is British culture and I have to be the only woman arguing about it. Am I?

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 07/07/2024 13:00

Thankfully my DH doesn’t do this. If he did, yes I would have a problem with it- I would worry about his health, his mental health, the impact on our children, and the cost.

Both DH and I used to binge drink but we grew out of it in our mid 20s. People who continue to do it into middle age seem a bit sad IMO.

Magicunicornpower · 07/07/2024 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Very helpful, thanks

OP posts:
StarsBeneathMyFeet · 07/07/2024 12:56

Of course you’re not the only one! It was a contributing factor to my divorce. You don’t have to tolerate it but you can’t change his behaviour…so you have to decided what you do about your circumstances.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2024 12:56

Getting that drunk, especially deliberately, is never acceptable in my book and I absolutely hate sloppy drunkenness. If regularly getting to that state is normal and just "British culture", what a sad commentary that is.

Magicunicornpower · 07/07/2024 12:56

He refuses to watch himself like that, pointless to make videos or recordings. And he is not the kind of nice sweet guy when he drinks. He is boring, annoying and sometimes verbally abusive if I don't put up with him. ..and so I will be in bed by the time he gets in to avoid confrontation. Also doesn't take him much to get tipsy and start the usual annoying conversation. It happens on holidays sometimes... he says I am not fun for not having another glass when all I want is him to stop there and avoid that next one that will determine how bad the night is gonna end. that's probably why I can't think about this as just one off night with the lads. He doesn't go out often though

OP posts:
Gallowayan · 07/07/2024 12:47

YANBU. Heavy drinkers are invariably deluded and in denial about the impact their behaviour has on their wife and kids. He is straight up invalidating your feelings for a start.

Drunks are embarassing nobheads, who cant self apprase. They think they are cool and funny.Your kids will be embarassed and will always remember him as a drunk.

He has to want to change though. Video his antics and play it back to him when sober. Might give him some insight.

stokessauce · 07/07/2024 12:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

stokessauce · 07/07/2024 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mrsttcno1 · 07/07/2024 12:33

I think it depends how often it is really? My husband doesn’t go “out out” very often so when he does I don’t mind at all that he gets a bit carried away and has a big drink, bonus points if he brings home food for us to share🤣 but if it was every single weekend then I would feel differently about it. I don’t think it sets a bad example to a child that mum or dad has a big night out every now and then, but if he is stumbling in every weekend mortal drunk and waking everyone up then thats obviously very different