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Would you move tables at a Cafe?

364 replies

Southlondoner88 · 07/07/2024 12:10

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

OP posts:
Headinthesand21 · 07/07/2024 23:55

Starrynights9 · 07/07/2024 23:16

Not my local coffee shop. As already mentioned the owner
welcomes local business people. They often gather to have coffee & lunch & stay for hours.

Business people gathering (and probably spending) is quite different to one person with their laptop at a table for 4.

Starrynights9 · 07/07/2024 23:16

HungryLittleCrocodile · 07/07/2024 15:23

Exactly this! ^ NO coffee shop or cafe etc is OK with someone using them as their own personal office for multiple hours. Especially as the vast majority of these people only buy a coffee and maybe one cake occasionally. And still stay 4-5 hours.

And taking up the space of 4 people - and refusing to share 'becuz it's MY table! Wahhhh!' 😫is disgustingly arrogant and entitled.

Use your own home, or go to the library!

The cheek of some! 🙄

Edited

Not my local coffee shop. As already mentioned the owner
welcomes local business people. They often gather to have coffee & lunch & stay for hours.

Headinthesand21 · 07/07/2024 23:01

ItsalwaysNovember · 07/07/2024 12:25

I was at the park with my dd last week she has ASD and needed to sit as was overwhelmed. There was one free bench so we sat there in the middle and my bag on one side of me. 2 women came over they had 3 children with them and stood about 30 cm in front of me and just stared ??!! So I ignored them till one said ‘we need to sit down’ I just stared at her and thought wtf you can see we are here and it’s obvious dd was having some difficulties. She tutted and they walked off !

Sorry but you were rude and unreasonable. I understand your daughter needing space to sit down, but it’s not reasonable to put your bag on the seat. What if one of the women or children also had a problem and needed to sit down? Free seats are for people to sit on, you don’t have a right to stop others using them

GoingOverToTheDarkSide · 07/07/2024 22:59

This is one of those threads where it feels like MN is a parallel universe - the vitriol at people using cafes to work in is just baffling.
I worked in a cafe today while DD was at a club for a couple of hours, it’s a lovely independent cafe with a bustling downstairs and then an upstairs which has a bit of a corridor vibe so they’ve set it up with lots of small tables, plugs and WiFi. Absolutely designed for working and whenever I’ve gone there it’s been all customers on laptops. It’s a super productive place to work with great coffee.
Our local pub has regular home-workers days mid week with free tea and coffee refills and fixed price lunch - they clearly want people there 9-2 and it’s turned into a real networking hub.
but in MN land this type of behaviour is abhorrent 🤷🏻‍♀️

letsgoooo · 07/07/2024 22:18

@HowIrresponsible

I'd wager the cafe would rather have 2-4 people at a 4 person table who leave and are replaced by more people all buying food / coffee than one student who buys lunch at £10 and is there for the day.
You would make sense if the cafe was full but as the cafe had other 4 seat tables free you make no sense at all

letsgoooo · 07/07/2024 22:13

Givemegoldensun · 07/07/2024 21:18

Had the woman not been so rude and unnecessarily aggressive I think most people would think you were being unreasonable. It seems as though (from your opening post) as if the woman wasn’t even asking you to move just if she could sit opposite you… I don’t see why, as one person, you have any right to jurisdiction over a four person booth. Even if I have mistaken this and she was asking you to move it is a reasonable request. One person doesn’t need a four person booth. If you were working there you were presumably planning on staying for a few hours. How much did you spend? Because I’d surprised if you bought more then 2 drinks and a panini. Let’s say that comes to approx £13. The cafe (it being a chain is irrelevant) could have made at least 4 times this per hour if the table was full to capacity. To be honest I don’t even that’s really the issue. The issue you is your attitude. You do come across as entitled, and frankly, much younger than you admit to being. Why do you think anyone else should care that you’re studying, or that you got in to some kind of groove? Cafes are not offices. Strangers in cafes are not your employer, colleague or teacher. They have come to relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends. Your productivity is of very little interest to them. It’s odd that you think it would be. I think it’s telling that you also think you look much younger then you are. It might be time to grow up just a little bit.

Why do you think cafes are for relaxing over working?

They are for whatever you want them to be within reason as long as you are purchasing.

Socialising
Reading
Relaxing
Entertaining kids
Toddler group meet ups
WORKING
Recovering from a night out
Escaping the house for a couple of hours.

Who are you to dictate what people are allowed to use them for?

IcedPurple · 07/07/2024 21:56

Why do you think anyone else should care that you’re studying, or that you got in to some kind of groove? Cafes are not offices. Strangers in cafes are not your employer, colleague or teacher. They have come to relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends. Your productivity is of very little interest to them.

By the same token, why should she care about a complete stranger's desire to "relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends"?

LlynTegid · 07/07/2024 21:39

I would if someone was polite.

I think your response was appropriate.

mummyrolling2014 · 07/07/2024 21:24

YellowAsteroid · 07/07/2024 20:14

though if you're taking up a booth for four and buying one coffee to sit there for 2 hours

But the OP WASN'T doing this!!!!

I did say I see both sides and that last part you was a general thought not exactly at OP. There were far more aggressive replies you didn't quote.

Givemegoldensun · 07/07/2024 21:18

Had the woman not been so rude and unnecessarily aggressive I think most people would think you were being unreasonable. It seems as though (from your opening post) as if the woman wasn’t even asking you to move just if she could sit opposite you… I don’t see why, as one person, you have any right to jurisdiction over a four person booth. Even if I have mistaken this and she was asking you to move it is a reasonable request. One person doesn’t need a four person booth. If you were working there you were presumably planning on staying for a few hours. How much did you spend? Because I’d surprised if you bought more then 2 drinks and a panini. Let’s say that comes to approx £13. The cafe (it being a chain is irrelevant) could have made at least 4 times this per hour if the table was full to capacity. To be honest I don’t even that’s really the issue. The issue you is your attitude. You do come across as entitled, and frankly, much younger than you admit to being. Why do you think anyone else should care that you’re studying, or that you got in to some kind of groove? Cafes are not offices. Strangers in cafes are not your employer, colleague or teacher. They have come to relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends. Your productivity is of very little interest to them. It’s odd that you think it would be. I think it’s telling that you also think you look much younger then you are. It might be time to grow up just a little bit.

Plmnki · 07/07/2024 20:53

It’s a cafe, not WeWork. Go to a workplace to work instead of taking up four seats at a cafe like selfish arse. The fact that it is a chain is the wankiest excuse ever.

Riversideandrelax · 07/07/2024 20:28

HowIrresponsible · 07/07/2024 16:29

I'd wager the cafe would rather have 2-4 people at a 4 person table who leave and are replaced by more people all buying food / coffee than one student who buys lunch at £10 and is there for the day.

They should ask people to move. They're running a business.

You're not having lunch if you're there for 10 minutes. And the OP said there were plenty of free tables. They got one drink out of the rude woman. Lunch and more than one drink from people working there. They have plugs for people who are working.

I go to a cafe just like this with plenty of places for people to work. They obviously encourage as they make money from them. As you say it's a business, they'd soon change if they weren't making money. But it is their business and they decide not random members of the public that think they are more important than other people!

Riversideandrelax · 07/07/2024 20:21

Nothereisnotashortage · 07/07/2024 16:03

This ⬆️. I think it’s unreasonable to use a coffee shop as a library, taking up a lot of space, using a lot of electricity and prob buying very little for the time that you have spent in there. Who do you think makes the coffee shop more money, you or the people whi asked you to move, who bought drinks and only stayed 10 mins? I don’t agree with people working in or holding interviews in coffee shops, they are often talking very loudly on their phones or asking questions very loudly and seem annoyed when you are sitting having a chat. It can be anti social. Go to the library or pay for an office space. Most of this seems to be a consequence of covid.

The cafe want people to work there, hence the plugs. They got barely any money from 10 minute woman. OP was having drinks and lunch.

Ozanj · 07/07/2024 20:17

The booth charging socket seats are for solo wfh/students not for a single party of 4-5. Our Nero has a sign that says that really clearly and will not allow young children to sit there at all.

YellowAsteroid · 07/07/2024 20:15

Goodness me, the prejudice against single people daring to enjoy themselves in public and getting in the way of those far more deserving families or couples, is really depressing. Makes me far more likely to take up more space, quite frankly.

YellowAsteroid · 07/07/2024 20:14

though if you're taking up a booth for four and buying one coffee to sit there for 2 hours

But the OP WASN'T doing this!!!!

mummyrolling2014 · 07/07/2024 19:39

Tricky one - I understand both sides and she shouldn't have been rude. Ok if you're purchasing a few things to eat and drink whilst using the facilities, though if you're taking up a booth for four and buying one coffee to sit there for 2 hours, It takes away potential business. Cafes need to survive too.

SofiaSoFar · 07/07/2024 19:05

lemonmeringueno3 · 07/07/2024 15:33

I feel irritated when I can't get a table for my family because one person is hogging a table for four. Often they're not eating and drinking just using it as study space. I always wonder why the coffee shops allow it. But I wouldn't be rude to you.

Did you not read the bit where OP said there were other tables available for the woman to take instead?

ABirdsEyeView · 07/07/2024 18:41

Yanbu from me - you were there first and other seats were available for customers. Maybe different in a very busy cafe and no spare seats available.

She might have preferred the booth but she wasn't entitled to it, since it was occupied when she arrived!

I wouldn't worry about the profit margins of businesses like cafe nero/costa/starbucks - they do okay and can duck up having you take up a booth on non busy times.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/07/2024 18:24

As I said above, I run a Caffè Nero store. All are welcome! Some of my favourite customers are the lone workers who sit at their laptops, they mingle and chat happily with the customers that come everyday for their daily caffeine and chat. In fact one guy who would come in, recently moved to the US to work at a college over there and he saved up all his loyalty cards and on his last day gave them out to other customers as they were paying. It was such a nice but bittersweet day. The laptop workers may sit there for a few hours with their coffee and panini but they usually do it every day, so that’s up to £12 in my tills, every day of the week. We don’t have a problem with the plugs because I only have single seats or tables for two where all the sockets are to avoid this kind of thing happening.
Like I said, we genuinely appreciate all our customers, we may be a chain but we’re all local people who are just trying to pay our bills whilst raising our families without the privilege of being able to run our own independently owned business!

Jumpingthruhoops · 07/07/2024 18:19

MasterBeth · 07/07/2024 12:50

She is not unreasonable to be working in a coffee shop. It is a perfectly reasonable use of a coffee shop.

Exactly. What's the difference in someone sitting at a table working and a group sitting at a table chatting?

Where I live (major city), you're hard-pressed to find someone in a coffee shop WITHOUT a laptop!

Jochef · 07/07/2024 18:10

Riversideandrelax · 07/07/2024 16:00

It's up to the cafe what they want people to do in their café not random members of the public. They have plugs precisely so people will work there and spend a lot of money. They'd rather that than 10 minute woman who clearly wasn't even having lunch.

Don’t agree with that. Cafes are social spaces, give me chatty customers over lone laptop tappers any day. Our sockets are in difficult to reach places and if I wanted to spend my days catering for the laptop tappers I would open a hotdesk unit. With free water 🙄

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/07/2024 17:50

Snoopsnoggysnog · 07/07/2024 15:29

oh give over who offers money for the electric at cafe Nero!? 😂

I run a Caffè Nero store, I think if somebody offered me money for the electric bill I’d just silently hold out my tip jar! Grin

WhatFlavourIsIt · 07/07/2024 17:47

Who are these people who want to sit with strangers in coffee shops. If I was out with friends or family, it would just never occur to me to sit down at a table someone was already sitting at.

Southlondoner88 · 07/07/2024 17:31

Just coming back quickly to say thanks for the replies, I didn’t expect so many. I’m taking all of them into consideration and as I said up thread I probably will try harder to get a smaller table in future if it suits the purpose of what I need it for that day.

This has also become a thread about working in cafes which is not really the point of the post so I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Would it have mattered less if I said I was sitting there with my coffee/ phone or midway through eating, this woman still would have expected me to move and didn’t seem offended about me working or about the fact I might be preventing poor cafe Nero from earning a tiny profit that day.

Also, it does matter that’s it a chain rather than an independent, chains like this are known to be a first come, first serve, anonymous type of businesses. This family had already paid for their food at the till like you always do in these places so me not moving wasn’t stopping them or anyone else from buying something, they did that already. Seating in there is really just a bonus in my view. An independent is more personable, people actually come for the food and comfort plus they actually need the turnover of seating or they really will lose money.

Thanks all. Really need a screen break now.

OP posts:
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