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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a baby before career?

45 replies

Saoirse96 · 07/07/2024 11:20

Hi all!

I'm looking for some advice on whether or not others have took the path of baby first, career second, and what were people's experiences of this. If people felt like sharing, I'd really appreciate reading them.

To give some background, I've just graduated with my Masters degree. I'm in my late 20s, and have a lovely owned house with my partner. I have all my family support in the same village. My end goal is to become a teacher, for which I need to do a one year qualification. I currently work in a school. I know that being qualified in this would be night and day financially - but I can't help but feel so incredibly broody! I wonder if it's better to have a less intensive job while your baby is young, to spend quality time raising them and focus on being a mum.

Has anyone here happily had babies on low incomes, and don't regret their timings? Or is it a huge mistake and a lot of unnecessary strain?

OP posts:
Sleepersausage · 07/07/2024 11:55

I had DD at 27 after doing various admin roles, income was okay though due to DP job. When she was two I started a job that offered a qualification alongside it now in a professional role and dd is 5. Not a teacher though and have lots of flexibility and work from home which I don't think would be so easy if you're a teacher.

Helar · 07/07/2024 11:52

Get married and have your children first - don’t delay that. There is plenty of time to study more and work in a different job later. Your fertile years are much more limited.

Overpayment · 07/07/2024 11:51

Irrespective of career considerations, Don’t plan a a baby without being married first.

Sharrap · 07/07/2024 11:48

I did a PGCE at 31, with a 1 & 4 yr old. It was a second career for me, though.

It was tough, but manageable if you have support. No regrets. Glad I had my children young-ish. I’m in my late 40s now, kids are grown up, I’m in an exec leadership role (moved away from schools, but still in education). My career is flying.

Get married first, though.

Greenlittecat · 07/07/2024 11:47

Just so you are aware, NQT has been replaced by ECT (Early Career Teacher) which is 2 years.

I have to ask, why would you do a masters and not go straight into teacher training?

tam23 · 07/07/2024 11:42

I career changed from a corporate job and did a PGCE with a one year old in my late 20s. It was hard work but less demanding than my corporate job. I had a lot more energy then than I do now - every decade you get a bit more tired! I’m glad I did as I have in the last couple of years had some major health issues and I’m glad my children were in their 20s and they didn’t have to deal with their mum having a life threatening illness in their teens. I am also able to focus more fully on my recovery, Of course this didn’t factor in my decision making at the time!

howshouldibehave · 07/07/2024 11:40

I would say definitely get qualifications done before having children-it will be so much easier. As a teacher, I would say don’t do teaching! On a day to day basis, it is very inflexible and not very compatible with having children.

NuffSaidSam · 07/07/2024 11:39

I'd do the PGCE and NQT year and then take some time out to have a baby. It'll be much easier to get back into teaching after a career break than to start out on a PGCE with a child in tow.

BuffaloCauliflower · 07/07/2024 11:36

My SIL did her PGCE last year with a toddler and it was a nightmare. As the parent of two toddlers and the child of a teacher - if you want to be a teacher do your PGCE and NQT year and then have a baby. Otherwise you’re probably not going to do it until your kids are in school. It’s so much harder with kids. You’re working full time for no money on placement and would still need to pay for childcare. If you have your kids when you’re working you’ll get maternity pay. I had my first baby at 32, you really do have time.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 07/07/2024 11:35

I’m a teacher - had a baby a year after starting my career. So glad I did it that way as I had time to build knowledge and contacts while I still had brain cells and an ability to sleep on the weekend…. Now I’m running on muscle memory and I’m so glad I have experience up my sleeve - starting teaching is hard enough without having a teething not sleeping toddler at home

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/07/2024 11:35

Agree with other posters. For the sake of a year just get it done. Studying (or working) with a baby is gruelling.

Sunnydiary · 07/07/2024 11:32

PGCE nearly killed me! Do it first, get NQT status over, then you will be in a far better position to have baby.

eish · 07/07/2024 11:30

A PGCE is incredibly intensive and I’d recommend doing it before children.

NightBirdy · 07/07/2024 11:28

Sense would say do your qualifications first. But then you have to do your NQT year and maybe another for experience ... then you're heading for mid 30s and if a baby doesn't come you would beat yourself up and wish for more time. I had my kids young and sacrificed my early career for that, but I have no regrets. Just feel grateful that I had them without difficulty.

SauvignonBlonk · 07/07/2024 11:28

Do the teacher training first. Out of all the qualifications I studied for my PGCE was the most intense and time consuming: it would be harder with a young child.
Train, ECT year then have a child would be the route I’d go for.

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/07/2024 11:27

It’s only a year. That will fly by.

I’d get married too.

Changingplace · 07/07/2024 11:24

I’d do your qualifications first, do your NQT year teaching then think about it. Then when you go back to work you’ll be in a better place financially, plus you’d get mat leave whereas if you had a baby now what financial support would you have?

Peonies12 · 07/07/2024 11:24

I’d also say far easier to do a year studying without a child! And if you have a few years good experience under your belt, much easier to go back into it if you did take time off

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 07/07/2024 11:24

Get your qualifications first. Every time. I did a masters with a 3 year old and it was very hard.

Peonies12 · 07/07/2024 11:23

For the sake of a 1 year qualification I’d do that first. I’m 33 expecting my first and I’m grateful I concentrated on my career first as I’ve got to a good level of job where it’s well paid, so will benefit maternity pay. And please do consider your financial situation if you’re not married and do have a child, if you plan to make sacrifices to your earning-you are far more protected if married.