To want a baby before career?

DH and I were teachers and both left for the CS.

PGCE is intense and then you have e your 2 ECT years to consider too so i wouldn't be planning for 1 year but 3!

I did my PGCE with a toddler in tow. It was a challenge but manageable. Had to be organised. I was pre ECT framework.

In all honesty your ECT years very much depend on the school you're in and how supportive they are. Get a bad school and you're selling your soul to the devil, get a good school and you're well looked after and nurtured.

If you can't imagine waiting 3+ years (depending on when you start) for a child then prioritise having children first and then see if it's something you'd like to pursue afterwards.

I would make sure you can support yourself and any children you plan on having before you have them. You no doubt have a lovely partner but circumstances can change. Get qualified first.

Marriage gives you protection if things go wrong - entitlement to a share of his assets, as I see it, in recognition of the sacrifices you make as being the one to give birth. Your career, pension, and potential future earnings all suffer due to maternity leave and motherhood, his do not. What happens if your child is born or becomes severely disabled and you cannot work? Marriage ensures responsibility on his part. What if pregnancy or birth renders you disabled? Marriage makes it harder for someone to just walk away, and gives you some financial security should the worst happen.

I'm retraining as an accountant, which I feel is going to open up a whole world of possibilities to me, in a way that teaching couldn't.

Being married means that if you split, the law starts from a 50/50 split of assets. This is not so much an issue with couples who earn similar / no kids but given most women take time off work, reduce hours etc, and men don’t (generalising here), if you were to split you would have a clear law-defined protection to getting half of shared assets which includes the man’s pensions. And if you have qualifications, career record etc it will be far easier to support yourself and your child. If you’re concerned about fertility issues you could get private tests, but age isn’t so much a factor in late 20s/early 30s.

Please get your qualifications and get at least a year of experience in your cv.

you need to be able to protect yourself and your child. The best way to do that is to have access to a good job. Your spouse could be the most wonderful man on the planet, but sometimes once children enter the household, the stress of parenthood changes people. You need to be able to pick up your child and leave without worrying about what you will do for money. It’s the single most important decision you will make as a mother.

I’d get the qualification first for the sake of a year. You could do like 4 months then begin trying for a baby then by the time you conceive and give birth your training will of ended

I had twins at 23.

I did my pgce when they were in reception and then worked in education until two years ago.

That way round worked for me because I have endo and was advised that if I waited until my 30s to have kids I would probably not be able to have them,

The received wisdom these days is career then kids but some people do this and then can't have kids.

Another was for those who question how family friendly teaching itself was-what alternative careers have you found yourself in?

Not found an alternative career, but have gone part time.

I would like to leave and go and do something else but feel a bit trapped having only ever done teaching and top of the pay scale, so if I moved to a different job I would probably have to work full time, to earn what I do part time. I honestly don’t know anyone who still enjoys teaching-my own kids won’t touch it with a barge pole and that’s coming from a whole family of teachers. Not one of the people from my PGCE is teaching full time and there’s just me doing part time!

I was you 15 years ago!

I did my teaching qualification and then studied part-time for my MA alongside a full-time teaching job before having kids. The MA did not aid my teaching career at all but being a teacher was hugely flexible while my own kids were young (I was a 1-day-a-week PPA teacher for a long time).

HOWEVER (and it's a big however), as soon as my youngest started school I went for a career change, as full-time teaching is no longer compatible with family life. If you plan to work any more than 2 days a week and also be a parent to young children, I would urge you to reconsider!

Had my first at 34 and second at 36 (just). I didn't really start my career until late, I was 25 but I was grateful to have my education and 9 years work experience before I went on maternity. I then did my maternity leaves almost back to back and it was great to have the same job offering maternity leave, and good salary also.

When I got back, I did leave the company about a year later as it was so fast paced, I just couldn't keep up with two children who were so young. It didn't matter as I had 12 years experience by then and walked into another role which was more family friendly, 4 days a week, not 5 and the same money.

'Partner' is ringing alarm bells.

If you want a baby and to stay at home while they're young, I'd concentrate on getting married first.

Protect yourself no matter which way round you choose.

Another one saying qualify, do your NQT year and another for experience, and marry first!

I'd get qualified first. I also wouldn't have a child to someone you are not married to, unless you are 100% able to support yourself, fir your own security.

I did a 3 year course when the DC were toddlers, also worked part time. It involved 3 AM studying and sobbing with exhaustion, so for that reason I would say study first. That said things have worked out ok career wise so it can be done, it’s just not the easiest solution.

PGCE first - you could start this September. Then ECT for two years, the second of which you could aim to get pregnant during. Have baby in three years time. Assuming you're 28 now, that means you'll have a baby at 31 which is no age. And get married. You and baby are totally reliant on your dp - be a responsible mother and make sure your child isn't relying on the decency of one man. Marriage means you have the force of the law behind you as well.

I had my first child at 28, second at 30. My first child was born two months off me being able to qualify in my profession. I’m 32 now and have only just got back into my professional work, I’ve done the necessary amount of time but I currently don’t have the time to sit the actual qualification. In hindsight I’d have done it first!

My NQT year killed me ! The pgce was hard but teaching as you know is exhausting and non stop. There is no way you would choose to do PGCE and NQT with a baby or toddler.

After 9 years of teaching I had my baby and I was so burnt out and exhausted I didn’t go back after maternity because there is no way I wanted to leave the house at 7 and return at 6 to work all evening and all day Saturday!!!! I now have a non teaching , full time role and with two tiny people I enjoy life and am not constantly working and anxious and exhausted.

I can see the children and relax on weekends. I am a hard worker and work full time but teaching requires working in evenings and weekends and is physically and mentally exhausting and I would never do it with small children.

My advice - do the training now. Then if you have baby and want to go back to it. I am not being rude but The first years of teaching saw me staying at school until 7pm most nights ! Working all weekends. I’m not being negative but it’s a HUGE job. I know you work in a school but the planning and assessments and pressure of being the teacher and not Ta is huge .

Definitely do the qualification (and preferably the NQ year) pre baby if you can. It’s pretty gruelling from what I hear and doing it with a baby will be really tough. And don’t forget you don’t know what your baby will be like. You might get one that barely sleeps or is ill a lot etc. So could be even tougher.

Also, I don’t think enough women consider that being a bit established in your career before kids is incredibly helpful. I had my daughter in my 30s. It meant I had an established reputation and track record in my field. As a result I am given a huge degree of flexibility to work around the needs of my daughter because my employer wants to keep me. I am also frequently headhunted which means I never feel stuck in a job and don’t have to stay at one for the sake of security. It’s an incredibly freeing feeling and I know that if I need at any point to stop and focus on my daughter, I can take time out and still walk into another job. I know teaching is not quite the same, but good teachers are always in demand and it is worth thinking about establishing yourself at least a little if you can because it makes family life easier.

I had my DD at 25 and did an intensive masters afterwards, it was really bloody hard! I’d get qualified first

Career first. Build up CV and experience and money before baby. Makes taking a year out much easier and you don't lose earning power.

Get qualified. Get married. There's a reason this is the advice of the majority of posters on this thread. I'm glad I progressed my career first, it meant I didn't have the same financial worries during maternity and I can take my foot off the pedal promotion-wise for a few years.