It's a money one - Parent

@TheSpoonyNavyReader 150k is no small amount but it all depends on whether they both need to go into care homes as they age, just how much money is left. is there going to be enough to at least give the op the value of 150k then???? this also makes the non beneficary feel quite undervalued and this is really the problem. to request the money for plastic surgery is ridiculous! how did they know the parents had that much to spare? what would happen if the open suddenly needed 150k tomorrow for major surgery which could only be done abroad? would the parents oblige?????

OP,
What they have done is completely unfair.
You are very unwise to not spell out how unhappy you are and that they are wrong to assume anyone can bd trusted.
I would tell them that it IS their money and they have every right to favour your sibling If they wish.

However, YOU have every right to be pissed off and very upset about it.
Actions have consequences.

You never asked for anything but THEY have caused this.
This upset is on them.

I would take some space from them.
Just because they are your parents doesn't mean you have to tolerate this from them.

I think you perhaps don't know the 'why'. If your sibling is abroad perhaps the parents feel guilt for not seeing them so much and want to support in a different way for example? Perhaps they feel they are more around for you in other ways? There could be all sorts of reasons. Sometimes treating people fairly doesn't mean treating them exactly the same.

Good grief are you being deliberately dense?

Having ALWAYS treated money gifts equally the parents have suddenly gifted sibling £150k 😮 and told OP that the usual M.O. of parity won't apply this time, it's just the gift to the sibling and end of.

Can you not get past your fixation on "entitlement" and realise that the OP has been thrown by the new disparity. It isn't about money it's about feelings and your place in the family dynamic.

You are asking us, but we are not your parents. Talk to them. If you want some money, find a large purchase that they would agree to.
Maybe an investment they would approve of.

If they say no, well that’s that.

Oh grow up! You sound 12!

It's your parents money not yours! If they say you have to wait then wait!

What is wrong with people today, so entitled and me me me

Blimey! I'd want a codicil too at £150k

I'm not really sure WHAT you can do about it, but it's v unfair UNLESS the £150k for you is ringfenced clearly in the will

And even then, of course, nursing home fees may eat that up

I can understand why you feel hurt that they have always treated you equally and now not.

Re the * My parents believe that my sibling is trust worthy and be fair. I have asked that codicil be added but I was told that was not needed as my sibling is trust worthy!

The amount is 150k.*

This is a bad idea on their part - is your sibling married ? Nothing causes problems like money when someone dies - even if your sibling is still around when the time comes they could renege or there may not be£150k etc etc,

@TheSpoonyNavyReader I did read the full thread. Your parents are under no obligation to give you or your siblings ANY money. Doesn't matter what the status quo up until now has been. Essentially you're on here complaining that you don't like the terms under which you will be gifted money that you have zero entitlement to in the first place. If your parents give your siblings £50k just because that still wouldn't mean you're entitled to anything. Their money, their choice.

I can see where you’re coming from OP. It’s never nice to feel you are being dealt with differently to a sibling by parents. But your opening post didn’t do you any favours. It came across very self entitled, and perhaps the answers you have received on here would be different if you had worded it better.

YABU for expecting your parents to give you money full stop.

I mean, yeah it’s not your money so you can’t say much. Money is so horrible tho isn’t it - people should just not promise anyone any amount. I won’t be and neither are my parents - we have (siblings) agreed we don’t want anything so no one gets anything. No fights, no arguments. No cries of unfair golden child.

I think I understand you OP- it's not so much the money, but that it represents a difference in treatment (for no perceived 'valid' reason).

I'm in the 'your money, do what you like with it camp' and don't think anyone should feel entitled to or expect an inheritance. However, for a lot of us, monetary gifts, wedding invitations, inheritances etc (whether rightly or wrongly) are seen as an indicator of the giver's relationship with the recipient.

I think you are quite correct to not to rely on the money in future. There are so many variables that things could change considerably by then. It sounds like you've discussed the issue with your parents already- at this point, unless you want to jeapordise the relationship, it would be unwise to bring it up again. You aren't unreasonable to feel quietly hurt for a little while though.

Dh’s dp’s always trotted out that they gave dh and his sibling the same.
They didn’t and it was obvious.
We couldn’t care less what the sibling actually got, she’s lovely, it was the blatant lies that were annoying.
Shortly after dsil got married mil said I’ve written all the costs in my little book and it came to x amount.
She read everything out and I added it all up in my head it was under x amount by several thousand.
She obviously didnt read out the amount given in cash as a gift.
Our wedding gift was a dressing table that we didn’t ask for. 😂

Similar situation here, my parents are always fair (even will send me or my sister money if they take one of us out for dinner) but they gave my sister 80k and can't afford to do the same for me.
They checked it was okay and have it written into their wills but my only answer was it's not my money to spend and it's not a big enough figure to throw away my family over? Yes it's a lot of money, and no I wish they hadn't given it to her as its delays their retirement. But it's not my choice and I'll either get it one day or I won't!