Mil thinks DH should pay towards his grandmothers funeral

Who has paid for the upkeep/bills on the house if GM was penniless?

She sounds delightful! Has lots of money and assets herself whilst leaving her mother with nothing and in debt and now wanting her own children to pay for grandmothers funeral.

Is she always selfish and greedy?

He needs to tell her he can't afford it and it's NOK to pay, especially if she's already had the estate given to her by her dad - that's bizarre in itself as should have been grandmothers after her husband died

if there was a life interest then IHT is payable and not CGT assuming that the house was of a certain value.

On the Life Tenant's death, subject to any exemptions or reliefs which then apply, IHT will be payable on the combined value of the trust assets and the Life Tenant's own estate. The trustees will be responsible for paying the proportion of the IHT payable in relation to the trust assets.

What does your DH think?

Extremely selfish but I can vaguely see her logic as ultimately DH and the siblings will benefit from the house sale. I'd say we've no money at present but can pay you our proportionate share of the costs after the property is sold. It's ridiculous though

I’m sorry but morally MIl and to a degree DH all ought to pay out of the house proceeds.

Assuming that that there was no life interest in the house relating to your GM and assuming that GM and GD were married until he died he clearly left the house and all other property to your MIL and DH to avoid there being any care charges or IHT charges on the house and to preserve assets.

The original monies / house belonged to GD and should have been left to his wife but instead she was left impoverished and ‘allowed’ to live in the house for free.

Surely she deserves a decent funeral and no quibble about who pays?

Moreover when the house is sold there needs to be a declaration to the IR for CGT as it was not your MIl main residence or the main residence of DH - it has to be paid quite promptly after the sale. Even if MIL moves into it and then sells it there will be CGT due for the time period when GM lives in it after GD death and has that was a long time ago it will be a hefty CGT bill. Your GM was not the owner and there is no main residence relief.

It isn't especially uncommon. He may well have bought and owned the house by himself, especially if he was the one with the income. For a long time, it was harder for women to buy property than men and their access to mortgages was lower. DGM may well have been of a generation to be affected by that. They may also have only had their pensions to live on and not much else.

And then with a view to care costs, people often leave their share of the property to younger descendants but make a provision in their will for a surviving spouse to stay in the property until they die. A life interest.

How much money will the house sell for and how much is MIL wanting to spend on the funeral?

Who paid for grandfather’s funeral, or did that come out of the estate? How come grandmother was left with nothing when grandfather died?

Lmao no.

Only because the mil already has it all

Does the MIL have siblings? They come before your DH.

Did the GM have siblings, they come before DH.

You have a DH problem. Him and his siblings need to tackle their mother together. Assuming they all agree

This is only if you receive certain benefits. With half a million in the bank, that’s unlikely.

@UsernameTalk yes but if in England the GM had to agree not to inherit what was her husband's. Was the GM robbed by your MIL? Dying in debt etc while she sits on savings.

It sounds as if there is a small estate (the grandparent owned part of the property and has left this to you DH and siblings), then MiL can use this to pay for the funeral potentially leaving them with no inheritance. Is that what she means?

The executor of the will would consider reasonable funeral costs to be funded from the estate.

DWP have a funeral fund, if she had nothing perhaps apply for this.

Funeral Expenses Payment can help pay for some of the costs of the following:

1. burial fees for a particular plot
2. cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
3. travel to arrange or go to the funeral
4. the cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles
5. death certificates or other documents

If there’s no money then MIL pays

If she literally had no money or assets to pay for a funeral you can ask the local authority for a Public Health funeral. It is the duty of all local authorities to arrange for the burial or cremation of anyone who dies without funds for a funeral. This is because it is in the public interest to do so. Family or friends are under no responsibility to pay for a funeral no matter how wealthy they are and no matter how closely related they were to the deceased. It is the deceased who is wholly liable to pay for their funeral from their estate.

Public Health funerals are almost indistinguishable from "regular" funerals. However, funeral cars are not provided for attendees and you are not able to dress the deceased in their own personal clothes. Additionally the funeral directors do not oversee the collection (if there is one) at the church/crematorium. One caveat, If burial is chosen the deceased will generally be committed to a communal grave. Most people therefore choose cremation for Public Health funerals.

Tell your MIL that you have been investigating local authority funerals and that this seems the best option as she obviously doesn't want to pay and you cannot afford to. Stand back and watch her reaction!

Definitely your MIL's problem as she has presumably been party to this pre-death transfer of assets. She already has the bulk of the estate in her hands so time to cough up for the funeral.

Did DH get any cash when the GF died? How much is she thinking of spending on the funeral? Strictly speaking the NOK pays if no estate. However her estate has already been distributed, when her husband died, with some of it going to your DH, so if he pays anything, then it should be proportional. It sounds as though she puts money above family, she isn't going to change.