Mil thinks DH should pay towards his grandmothers funeral

the debts don't have to be paid as GM didn't have any, it's up to the family if they want to pay for the funeral.
your MIL sounds so mean and tightfisted to expect your DH and siblings to chip in.

it's as though now they're coming into a bit of money she's telling them how to spend it and it's all to ease her burden, she obviously resents having to pay out for her own mother's funeral.

Well given your update, no one was liable for the debts as there was no estate left by the grandmother to pay off the money. If MIL then its her bad.

The house had already been inherited to the Mill and son's, so wasn't part of grandmother estate. There will be inheritance tax owing on this if its been sold.

Your husband is under no obligation to pay towards his grandmother's funeral, the MIL should pay or if she's unwilling to the she can apply for a paupers funeral. That's upto her.

I'd take your inheritance from the grandfrathers house and go low contact with the money grabbing MIL.

Have you asked why?

Is she planning the funeral & making it a show & that's where big unexpected expense is coming from, or is it that she is looking for £200 to help cover costs as a gesture?

If she herself dies in a few years, should her funeral come from your kids child trust fund or pocket money?

What does your MIL want to save her money for? If she won't pay she can inform the local council and a public health cremation would be arranged. Your DH should not feel any guilt when MIL has plenty of money to pay for a funeral.

@Skybluepinky there is no estate. GM had no money or assets

The costs will come from her estate, sounds like yr mil is clueless.

Them being married doesn't make it her house, even if it was bought during the marriage which OP didn't specify. And if it was, she didn't necessarily give it away either. OP says they were divorced a long time ago. It's possible there wasn't much equity when they split, for example.

@UsernameTalk what is MIL's justification for this? Sometimes a simple 'why?' can be quite illuminating.

IME tight and manipulating people are very good at expecting to control how other people spend their own money.

If GM had no assets then I believe her debts die with her.

She sounds vile. She should pay for her own mothers funeral. And the debt isn't even payable I'm sure. They come out of the estate, but if there's no estate they don't transfer, you don't inherit debt. In the UK anyway.

Just say you don't have the money, she can more than afford it. When the house sells she legally can't give your DH less money to cover the funeral, she has to give him his legal proportion, less his proportion of fees. But is it worth paying that bit so she doesn't disinherit you?

Well what a drip feed
it was her house if they were married but she gave it away and your dh was one if the beneficiaries
puts a different slant on it!

They only need to be paid if the deceased left money or assets to pay them from. If there's no estate then no, because otherwise that would mean other people having to pay them instead. When there is an estate that covers them, yes they do need to be paid before any inheritance.

Sounds like an unfair divorce settlement as there was plenty of money, different times I suppose

@mitogoshi OP has clarified that grandparents were divorced

Definitely mil pays as she basically inherited what should have been the estate early to avoid inheritance tax no doubt

Depends.

In the UK, if they leave enough of an estate to cover them then yes. If the person leaves nothing, or an amount not sufficient to cover the debts, then no.

Just tell her you don't have any money. Tight as a crabs arse she is.

Do debts really need to be paid once a person has died? Genuine question

They wouldn't be covered from the sale of the house as it wasn't DGMs. She left no estate.

I think the funeral costs should be covered eventually from the proceeds of the sale of the house, but in the meantime MIL should pay upfront.

If there is 0 in the estate then either a) anyone can pay for the funeral or b) everyone can refuse and the LA will have to pay for it.
What anyone got from Grandad's will is irrelevant, and if you need the money that is coming to you from the sale of your house, well, you need it don't you?