Mil thinks DH should pay towards his grandmothers funeral

Normally paying the debt will come out of the estate and so will the funeral is there is no money.
Sorry OP but it will be deducted from the sale of the house then the rest will be divided as per the will, your MIL could pay herself but if she doesn't want to there is nothing anyone can do.

Sorry you are in this situation and very sorry that his GM has passed away too. Death and funerals are hard at the best of times without unnecessary conflict between family members. Your MIL is the only child of his GM and I assume is also the sole beneficiary to her estate. She needs to do what is right by her own mum and suck the cost up! An average funeral is between £5k and £8k so isn’t a lot of money to your MIL. Maybe it is the grief talking and she isn’t thinking straight? Really hope you guys get this sorted and give his GM a good send off!

I read the your other thread and this one. I don't understand how anyone can be that batshit crazy! Honestly, the greed of that woman. If I was your husband, I would go no contact.

Exactly

Grandfather left house to MIL.
It should have gone to his wife, but went to MIL, presumably for tax reasons.
She SHOULD have received the house, and would have been able to contest the will, but this was not done IN ORDER TO PASS THE VALUE TO MIL.

Now, if he in turn expects to inherit some value from the estate of the MIL he should be nice and pay his share. If he doesn't, it's up to him.

Sorry not read the full thread, but have you or DH checked the deeds at the land registry? Is it actually in DH and his siblings' names (as well as MIL). If not, it will be virtually impossible to get MIL to hand over their share when it is sold.

Ridiculous to think your DH should help especially as she is comfortably well off it’s down to her

If there is no money, why the expensive burial instead of a much cheaper cremation? Apologies if this is for faith reasons, but the grandmother should have thought about the cost of her preference and planned for it.

Mother in law is getting money from the sale of the house. Its on her or no funeral.

The next of kin pays.

I’m not sure if this has already been mentioned as i haven’t read through all of the comments. Could mil not pay for the funeral and then take that money back from the house sale before the money from the sale is divided up?

they need to be paid from the estate if there is no estate they can't be paid

If there's really no money at all in the estate, the debts won't need to be paid.

Of course Dh shouldn't pay for the funeral.

No you are quite right. I’d understand more if she was totally broke & asked for any help she could get, but she’s not totally broke & should pay herself.

It sounds like legally she has to pay for it as she's NOK. She cannot make your DH and siblings pay, she can only ask (or in your case bully). What does your DH want to do? If he's in agreement with you then he just has to say no and really mean it!

Any reason why dh doesn't just repeat the word no to his dm?

This - and I would be using these words too. Cheeky or what.😒

I could be wrong here but if the GM has no money then the debts unless secured against the house die with her. If it was also notified very quickly and it’s an admin error to the over paid pension that also may not need paying back however where is that money now?
The funeral one is difficult because if they’ve all got some part in the estate maybe they can all give some. But ultimately no one is liable to pay it.
And it could be a very low key affair - as presume there are no funeral plans in place to execute any of gm wishes. If they go down the low key side then anything extra mil wants she needs to cover herself

If there is no estate in GMs name the debt should be written off - certainly this applies to over paid pension as DWP cannot hold anyone else responsible for the repayment of overpaid benefits. The electricity bill would depend on whose name was on the account.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

I've always wanted to say that! But on a serious note, it is definitely her responsibility to pay for her mother's funeral - nothing to do with the grandchildren. She is next of kin, she can pay for it.

I'd personally refuse to discuss any finances with her re: the funeral, because it isn't your job to pay for it. She can pay for it in cash, out of her recent house sale.

Then I'd treat the sale of your DH grandfather's property as a separate issue once the funeral is all sorted. Make sure the solicitor dealing with the sale of the house knows to pay the money to you all individually, so your MIL doesn't lie about how much the proceeds owed from the house are... As I'm not sure I'd trust her to fairly reimburse you if the house sale money was just paid to her and given to her to distribute (even if this incurs extra solicitor fees for extra bank transfer admin charge).

Sorry for your DH loss xx

How can you stomach being married to him?

Apologies OP states GF died when her dh was a child and GM has been living in the property since then. So either MILs decision or possibly GF agreed before he died. I’m guessing no one really knows as dh and sibling were young at the time.

I understood it was the GFs decision to allow his exwife to live in the property. Not MILs