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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mil thinks DH should pay towards his grandmothers funeral

239 replies

UsernameTalk · 07/07/2024 08:53

My mil has over half a million in savings (i know because she recently sold 2 of her houses), and lives in a 5 bedroom house. We have two young children and live in a small 3 bedroom house and trying to save every penny for a bigger house. I have not been able to work for the previous 6 years because my son has autism and is quite high needs.

Mil thinks he and his 2 siblings should pay towards her mothers (their grandmothers) burial. Mil mother (DH grandmother) had no savings or money when she died to cover it.
AIBU to think that is ridiculous?

OP posts:
Soñando25 · 07/07/2024 09:10

No, neither your DH nor his siblings should have been asked to pay. Your MIL is a wealthy woman, she can pay for it no problem. I'm sure you'll all be attending the funeral to pay your respects.
These older people who have huge amounts of savings, but sit back and watch their children/ grandchildren struggle never cease to amaze me.

Original poster
UsernameTalk · 07/07/2024 09:09

If DH has a small share in what is the estate It is not his grandmothers estate, she has no money or estate, and infact had debt to pay - to electric company and pay back over paid pension etc.

The estate that is being sold is his grandfathers house that he left to mil, dh and his siblings. And mil is already demanding dh and his siblings pay a share of their grandmothers debt now their grandfathers house is being sold (again that their grandmother did not own).

OP posts:
Dinosweetpea · 07/07/2024 09:04

She's a CF, your DH needs to stand up for himself.

ReacherSaidNothing · 07/07/2024 09:04

If DH has a small share in what is the estate, then he should maybe pay a small amount proportional to this? But if MIL has the biggest share then she pays for most of the funeral

worryworrysuperscurry · 07/07/2024 09:03

Utterly ridiculous. The grandmother's children pay for the funeral. If your DH gives in to this ridiculous demand, he's a fool.

Missgucci · 07/07/2024 09:00

Linearforeignbody · 07/07/2024 08:57

Funeral costs come out of the estate.

Did you read the op. There's no money.

Original poster
UsernameTalk · 07/07/2024 09:00

Additonal information. Dh's grandmother had no estate or money left over. The house she lived in mil owes most of. DH and siblings have a small share in it.
It was was Dh's grandfathers that he left in his will to them, DH's grandmother was living it in for free. Sorry did not explain that well

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 07/07/2024 09:00

Funny that this wealthy woman expects her son to contribute to something that she should be paying for but was happy for her own mother to live with not a penny to her name. I guess that's why the rich are rich.

Missgucci · 07/07/2024 08:59

It's not down to your mil really .. she can't pluck the money from your account. It comes down to if your hubby is stupid enough to pay for this when he has a family to provide for.

Linearforeignbody · 07/07/2024 08:57

Funeral costs come out of the estate.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/07/2024 08:57

The funeral is generally paid for out of the estate.

If she didn't have any money in the estate then I'd look to the next of kin to pay in the first instance.

Tel12 · 07/07/2024 08:57

Next of kin. She pays. You just need to stand up to her.

iamtheblcksheep · 07/07/2024 08:56

No. She pays for her mothers funeral herself the cheeky fucker

ACynicalDad · 07/07/2024 08:55

She’s mad, if there’s nothing in the estate I’d look to her and any of her siblings first.

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