To say thank you to Mumsnet?

I then got another warning for making the parents of a child just diagnosed with cancer (like literally that day) a cup of tea because I should have told them that there was a parents kitchen and had them make their own tea..

That is shocking, my niece is regularly in hospital and I visit her often, if it is just one person and you are not getting in the way, they are happy if you hang about after visiting until later in the evening as they know it is good for the patients to have support. Every time I am there and they are doing a tea round they offer me a cup (I always decline as I don't drink tea/coffee).

She has also had problems with her work (retail) due to her regular hospital admissions/poor attendance and tried to use her union (can't remember the name it was one of the smaller ones) and they were useless, told her they were to busy to help her! She switched to Unite and they have been very supportive and helpful, they could only advise her over the phone for the first time they disciplined her as she had just joined, but the next hospital admission they were fully on board.

She didn't report you for making tea, she reported you if you did call her stupid, if you did just apologise as its not professional, the whole situation is ridiculous though and could have been sorted at ward level. A friend of mine was suspended for ordering a taxi after working unpaid overtime to visit her sick partner in hospital, its not what you do, its the way that you do it, as the song goes. Enjoy being paid full pay for having a rest. Ordering for a distressed parent is not the same as ordering extra for the staff which is a hanging offense these days, red tape at its finest.

Agree that everyone should be in a trade union. My life would be so completely different if I hadn’t joined many years ago.

Good luck OP

I’ve been so grateful to nursing staff organising meals and bringing tea when my DD has been admitted - that small kindness makes it easier to cope with the uncertainty and we weren’t dealing with anything life threatening. I’m glad you have good representation - I always support union membership, they do an amazing job of fighting for workers.

Best of luck tomorrow.

This. Back in the day, as ward sister, I would arrive on shift about 15 minutes early and the lovely ward maids (as they were known then) used to bring me a cup of tea! They were always kind and helpful to patients too.

You’re the type of nurse I would want looking after my family or friends. You are a caring and compassionate human being who is doing what’s expected of a professional care giver. Thank you for being you and going up against this injustice. Good luck Friday. Be thinking of you .

Stumbled upon this yesterday, channel 4 on the failings of the nursing and midwifery council.

https://www.channel4.com/news/damning-report-on-nursing-and-midwifery-council-will-be-turning-point-says-chair

Thank you for adding your voice, OP. I've needed multiple admissions and surgeries for repeat ectopic pregnancies and had phenomenal care from nurses. I wish you all the best. And I love your union rep, too. All power to you.

I hope this thread is picked up by the press.
What a horrible ward housekeeper.
And your manager words fail me.
Good luck for Friday

That is hideous OP. I’m a consultant and have made a cup of tea for a relative many times after giving them hideous news. It’s human kindness.
Holy Moly - what is the NHS coming too??
I also asked if we could pay for a taxi for a very anxious 88 year old who had left her demented husband at home. She was sobbing that she would miss her bus.

Well done OP for sticking your neck out. You manager needs to take a long hard look at themself and ask why they are in HealthCARE.

The ward housekeeper reported you for that?

Dear god, what have we become?????

Can I just say the thank you. A nurse made me a cup of tea and told me drink it at my son’s bedside which wasn’t allowed. It was the middle of the night and I’ve never been so scared in my life. It might not sound like much but it was what I needed physically because I was freezing and in shock, it was what I needed emotionally because it broke the state i was in staring at his tiny body and it told me that everything was taken care off. I really would follow that woman through the gates of hell if she asked. If she’d got into trouble for that it would be outrageous and I would defend her to my last breath.

so glad your union rep is doing what they should and sorting it out. I really hope you end up in a better position in your next role.

It’s unbelievable.

Just out of interest, how do they know you made them a cup of tea? Are they literally watching all the time or has someone else also escalated?

We have those on the "fifth floor" of my hospital. Trust. They do literally wield clipboards!

Years ago there was a mum on here posting about staying with her terminally ill child in hospital. She couldn't leave the child and had no other support. She described how the nursing staff wouldn't even allow her to eat the meals served to her daughter (who was unable to eat anyway), grabbing the untouched food and taking it away. I think some local MNers organised some food deliveries. I don't think there was anything like the delivery services we have now. Some of the "older" people here might remember. It seems that not much has changed.

I came on to mention the wonderful work that Sophie’s Legacy are doing to make sure that parents of paediatric patients are fed in hospitals but I see someone has already done so! They really are a fantastic charity working hard to create change.

Good luck for Friday 💪🏾💪🏾
I had a little cry reading your OP, you sound like the nurse I wish I had when I was ill last year. The ones looking after me were really quite horrible but not you, you're lovely x

You've made me cry for those poor parents.
I'm attending the Beatson Hospital for Chemo and Radiation. When the volunteer team comes round with sandwiches, biscuits, tea, soup etc everyone gets something to eat (if they can face it). Patients and the person with them, if they have one.
They even come round outpatients and the queue for bloods.
You go on Friday with your head held high, I'd be honoured to be nursed by you.

I’m not in any way calling you/your role out but that statement speaks volumes and is frankly worrying.

Investigations need to happen. Thats part of having ‘appropriate’ checks and balances especially for the NHS. The word here is appropriate.

Wishing you all the very best for Friday, @Mamtorr .

Remember the Mumsnet Army have your back ! 💐 xx

Anyone in public sector should be in a union.

Even if you don't have a recognised union in your place of work, be it public or private, you can be a union member and be entitled to have a rep attend any disciplinary with you.

I am a senior manager in the NHS and my role comes with having to commission investigations. My heart sinks when I learn a staff member doesn't have a union rep.

Anyone in public sector should be in a union

Am completely shocked but sadly not surprised by this ridiculous behaviour of management. You absolutely made the right call in supporting the parents in this way. I was so grateful when waiting in an a&e trauma ward for tea and biscuits being brought to me by paramedics whilst waiting for news on my DH. Having to go and find food in hospitals is pretty horrendous and time consuming - really not practical to leave children.
Well done for joining a union and that you have a supportive rep!