To have felt completely out of my depth?

But for some of us, the enjoyment is in digging in.

And how do you define "what it is" anyway? Art is multi-layered, and our interpretation of it can be also be layered and complex.

Sometimes things just don't click.

Years ago, I went along to a camera club as a newbie, hoping to find some like-minded people to talk about photography with. Turned out they were all a bunch of unwelcoming wankers, so I didn't go back.

Fundamentally unenjoyable is entirely personal though. Some people enjoy philosophy and subtext, others want to discuss how it made them feel, others don’t want to discuss it at all.

Nobody is wrong - people are allowed to enjoy different things.

It was a very structured event, the host went around the group asking everyone the same question, I honestly didn't know what to say when it came to my turn and asked to skip/have more time to think about it.

That sounds like a class I had at university, that was deliberately done that way so we’d get used to being challenged and having to think on our feet. Everyone used to sit there hoping to be called first, because the longer it went on the harder it got to think of something new to say. I wouldn’t choose to spend my free time like that!

Really? I'm surprised you've got space for intellectualism, with all that astonishment filling your brain 🤷

I agree and I sometimes find this with art and literature. Can't we just enjoy it for what it is?

Indeed.

You know, sometimes, complex ideas which are nuanced and draw on a wide range of reading and a lot of thinking, need to be expressed in complicated ways.

Thinking is good for you. It keeps your brain growing.

That doesn't sound like a great group.

I watch tons of tv shows. I have a great memory for what happened. I read and post on forums after.

There is never any discussion of the sort of philosophical issues you mention. I would be rubbish at that. It's more what I'd expect doing a film studies degree.

Same as I want a book group to discuss that books plot -whether we've enjoyed it and similar books. Not actually the role of women in 1900 literature as shown in book z like I am doing a feminist studies in literature degree.

It’s not anti-intellectualism to recognise pompous word salad.

Perfect description 🤣

It sounds awful to be honest. I'm a voracious reader but I've never joined a book group because I've always secretly suspected that it's just a bunch of people who like the sound of their own voice and spouting opinions, not necessarily interested in hearing others point of view! It's good that you're getting out and looking to make new friends but maybe this group isn't for you. You sound like an intelligent and interesting person so don't let this experience feed any insecurity - you have a lot to offer in the right setting!

I think you either click with a group or you don’t, I once went to German classes, touted as beginners and everyone there not only had previously done some form of German, they’d all visited/ lived there too! I stuck out the 8 classes because I’d paid, but it was a lonnngggg 8 weeks!! (Don’t go back!)

But they weren’t ’putting her on the spot’, they were including her on the same terms they were, and passed on when she said she wanted to be skipped. These people weren’t to know she had expected something less structured, and had felt under-educated. She’ll know what to expect next time, if she decides to return.

A truly welcoming and inclusive group would not have put her on the spot in the way they did. They would have reacted to her discomfort with grace, made a light hearted remark and moved on to the next person.

I always think of people who have to over intellectualize (my word) everything as people who love to verbally masturbate. Someone used that term and I thought it perfectly describes it!

The extent of British anti-intellectualism never fails to astonish me.

She said they were perfectly polite while she was present, and that the leader asked everyone, including her, the same question — that’s pretty much the definition of ‘inclusive’. She was included on the same terms as anyone else. It’s not their fault she had only watched a single episode and felt out of her depth.

OP, don’t give up on this group. Watch more of the series before you return, and now that you have an idea of the kind of discussion that happens, you’ll feel more in your depth. I mean, good to be stimulated out of your comfort zone?

Sounds like my idea of hell. If I watch a film.or a TV show I want to be entertained, not dissecting and analysing it frame by frame with a bunch of pompous nit wits 😅😇

I had a similar experience at a taster writing group, everyone welcome. Turned out it was poetry, quite tricky to write on the spot with only a few mins allowed.
Everyone had to share and people seemed quite vocal and supportive of each other.. till my turn came. Now I may not have done a great piece, but it was like no one could think of a single positive to say. Just silence, then only one member said some nice/encouraging things, which I was so grateful he did.
It was really hard to even read it out loud in the first place, I'd never done it before. So I never returned.

It wasn't the three body problem was it?!

I don't think it's fair to slate the group - book and film analysis is a thing and there are terms used that some people will be familiar with and comfortable using in discussion. It just sounds like not a good fit and out of your knowledge zone.

Yes, you’re overthinking. They’ve been an established group for a while and have probably all learned and developed ideas together.

Learning new stuff is hard. You’re there to learn new stuff. You won’t know it all already. Just hang in there!

It sounds like they aren’t the group for you. If they were laughing about you as you left, they’re dicks and it’s their loss - though I think it’s more likely they weren’t laughing at you and it was just an unfortunate coincidence.

I’m all for a bit of over-analysis and intellectual pomposity when it comes to discussing books and tv, but it’s quite an ask to come into an established group for the first time and start contributing to that sort of discussion. Well done for trying - it does take courage to try new things - but don’t dwell on it, it’s just not what you’re looking for.