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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To actually feel sorry for the woman driving the car in the Wimbledon car accident

994 replies

bagpuss90 · 06/07/2024 16:44

I’m sure I’ll be flamed here . I totally sympathise with the bereaved parents- I can’t stress that enough. I can understand them wanting justice . As we know the driver of the car suffered an epileptic seizure at the wheel - she had no history of epilepsy. I don’t see what she could have done differently. She has to live with what she did although it wasn’t her fault. AIBU to feel quite sorry for her ?

OP posts:
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18
PossumintheHouse · 06/07/2024 21:06

Mrspopper · 06/07/2024 20:47

I regularly drive through this area and the number of giant cars is insane and are often driven dangerously. This is factual of what I see. I think when you are in such a huge car you have a feeling if security for you own safety which can lead to unsafe decisions. The number of drivers on mobile phones whatever the size of their car is shocking. A mini would not have smashed through metal gates.
Of course people are entitled to drive any car like they want but accept that these huge cars are more powerful and cause more damage when involved in accidents.
I had no idea she sold these cars but it’s seems incredibly insensitive of her to post herself selling said cars after devastation caused. (If this is factual)
what is fact is that my friend witnessed the accident and Will never forget what she saw.
the op should question why they felt need to start a thread like this, incredibly thoughtless.

You cannot blame a "giant car" for what happened, and it wasn't driven dangerously. It was a horrible, tragic accident.
Even if she does sell "giant cars" as you put it, it has nothing to do with this horrible incident.

whatdoidonowffs · 06/07/2024 21:05

oakleaffy · 06/07/2024 18:29

She was thoughtless enough to be driving a 3.5 tonne vehicle in suburbia.
Her choice of vehicle plus her fit caused the fence to be smashed down and the children to die.

Well should we just throw her in prison for that ?

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 21:04

PaleSunlightOfHope · 06/07/2024 20:48

The police deal with all sorts of people, including murderers and armed gangsters. And they regularly give evidence in court and are subject to cross-examination. I doubt that they would be easily intimidated by a 'fierce lawyer' even if the driver's husband is one.

Edited

Also, he’s not a lawyer, he works in finance.

Oblomov24 · 06/07/2024 21:03

I feel sorry for her too.
We all understand the parents, their loss, grief, but asking for blood for her medical condition is unfair.

pinkstripeycat · 06/07/2024 21:01

HandyDandyNotebookWanker · 06/07/2024 16:53

YANBU. It's an awful situation for everybody involved.

I would like to see a review of the availability of these massive cars or their suitability for urban and suburban areas, though. If she'd been driving a Punto, this might not have happened. That's not to blame her - she made a perfectly legal choice of vehicle - but I don't think it's unreasonable to question whether they belong in densely populated areas.

Really?

You think a one ton, out of control, fiat punto is less likely to kill 2 small children than a 4x4……….

Blinkingbonkers · 06/07/2024 21:00

Absolute tragic accident. A friend of mine has just been diagnosed with epilepsy, first seizure aged 67!! I feel desperate for the parents but they need to accept that there was no deliberate intent….nothing this poor woman could have done. Dreadful things happen everyday, there is not always someone at fault.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 06/07/2024 20:59

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

That's BS. My father had his first epileptic seisure at 41. Thankfully he was home when it happened and not driving

Nazzywish · 06/07/2024 20:54

No I don't. I feel so much for the parents of those beautiful girls.
The police didn't seem to handle themselves right from the get go in regards to dealing with the families. Keeping them in the loop Iver what was going on and when/ why. They were left countless times to get their story into the media to feel heard and ask for answers. And only then the police seemed to provide vague updates.
If the police had handled it right and reassured the families that the investigation was being thoroughly I don't think the families would've felt a need to have put themselves of going public for answers every time. Also I think if the family were reassured that their legal team could look at the evidence themselves to see what the cps saying are correct it would help them thinking someone is hiding something somewhere.

HungryLittleCrocodile · 06/07/2024 20:52

PaleSunlightOfHope · 06/07/2024 20:48

The police deal with all sorts of people, including murderers and armed gangsters. And they regularly give evidence in court and are subject to cross-examination. I doubt that they would be easily intimidated by a 'fierce lawyer' even if the driver's husband is one.

Edited

I agree. As if an lawyer could intimidate the police. What a ludicrous suggestion! 🙄

MartyFunkhouser · 06/07/2024 20:51

I think it would be odd to not feel sorry for her.

HungryLittleCrocodile · 06/07/2024 20:48

It was a horrible and unfortunate accident wasn't it? Sad

Yeah I do feel a bit bad for her.

The teachers from the school, and the families involved (whose children were harmed or killed,) are VERY unhappy with the verdict though! (That it was an unavoidable accident.)

What was the court/judge meant to do though? If the woman had an epileptic fit, it wasn't her fault. I bet she will never drive again though.

PaleSunlightOfHope · 06/07/2024 20:48

Karmaisagod · 06/07/2024 19:27

The more I think about this case, the more conflicted I become. Is this a case of bereaved parents grieving over such an unthinkable, painful event that they're seeking answers and blame where there are none? Or is there a thinly veiled implication that something is amiss with the driver, the diagnosis and the lack of prosecution? Would this be feasible? Could the medical evidence be faked, or a fierce lawyer husband intimidate the police?

The police deal with all sorts of people, including murderers and armed gangsters. And they regularly give evidence in court and are subject to cross-examination. I doubt that they would be easily intimidated by a 'fierce lawyer' even if the driver's husband is one.

Mrspopper · 06/07/2024 20:47

I regularly drive through this area and the number of giant cars is insane and are often driven dangerously. This is factual of what I see. I think when you are in such a huge car you have a feeling if security for you own safety which can lead to unsafe decisions. The number of drivers on mobile phones whatever the size of their car is shocking. A mini would not have smashed through metal gates.
Of course people are entitled to drive any car like they want but accept that these huge cars are more powerful and cause more damage when involved in accidents.
I had no idea she sold these cars but it’s seems incredibly insensitive of her to post herself selling said cars after devastation caused. (If this is factual)
what is fact is that my friend witnessed the accident and Will never forget what she saw.
the op should question why they felt need to start a thread like this, incredibly thoughtless.

Cloudysky81 · 06/07/2024 20:44

I can’t think of any other reason apart from a seizure that would explain why she drove her car off the road and into a school playground. Her phone would have been checked by the police to exclude that being a distraction and she would have been breathalysed too.

Ultimately she is the only person who will ever truly know what happened though.

ThePerkyDuck · 06/07/2024 20:43

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 06/07/2024 20:39

Are you serious? Give up her job?

The brand of car was responsible?

It’s been a long time since I read as much crap as I have in this thread. My mum developed seizures at 50. Later diagnosed with epilepsy. This woman could have very Well have continued to have seizures and been diagnosed with epilepsy since the accident.

No one can come up with a vaguely reasonable reason she would not braked. But apparently she should have quit her job, not left the house, not smiled at all since, was probably drunk or hung over (as though she would have been tested) and loads of other shit.

and all this talk of ‘well she has money to get proper justice’ the parents of these girls aren’t exactly skint benefits. So if it’s easy to get proper justice if you pay, why didn’t they pay to get the justice they feel they deserve.

This is an awful situation all round. And people using it these children’s death to speculate and just spout nonsense it’s pretty awful.

It’s awful to dismiss parents and other witnesses doubts about how the investigation was conducted.

LolaLouise · 06/07/2024 20:41

Speaking as an A&E nurse, if she was immediately taken to hospital, there is a blood test that shows a seizure has happened. Its a very common, easy, diagnostic test and shows whether it was a "functional" or non-epileptic seizure - which can appear very much like an epileptic seizure, or an actual seizure that needs acting upon, which isn't always epileptic either. But it can be used to diagnose a seizure has occurred. That medical testing would have been given to investigators, as it would be on her records. Without knowing the ins and outs of this particular person, or their medical history, i would hazard a guess, that the testing showed an actual seizure had occurred in the time leading up to the accident. Therefore, provable, and would not lead to any kind of charges or conviction.

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 06/07/2024 20:39

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 20:25

I see no point discussing this woman anymore after seeing she still sells the same brand of cars she killed children with. Hope parents will get justice sooner or later.

Are you serious? Give up her job?

The brand of car was responsible?

It’s been a long time since I read as much crap as I have in this thread. My mum developed seizures at 50. Later diagnosed with epilepsy. This woman could have very Well have continued to have seizures and been diagnosed with epilepsy since the accident.

No one can come up with a vaguely reasonable reason she would not braked. But apparently she should have quit her job, not left the house, not smiled at all since, was probably drunk or hung over (as though she would have been tested) and loads of other shit.

and all this talk of ‘well she has money to get proper justice’ the parents of these girls aren’t exactly skint benefits. So if it’s easy to get proper justice if you pay, why didn’t they pay to get the justice they feel they deserve.

This is an awful situation all round. And people using it these children’s death to speculate and just spout nonsense it’s pretty awful.

MissMaryBennett · 06/07/2024 20:34

Most people on this thread are of the opinion that it was a tragic accident.

So that would seem to suggest that that is the natural reaction of most people presented with the facts that we have.

I know that the people who are criticising the police are closely involved and grieving, but they are presumably also capable of realising that accidents happen.

So if a number of people that must know more than we do aren’t convinced, perhaps there are facts that they know that we don’t?

LastTrainEast · 06/07/2024 20:34

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 20:25

I see no point discussing this woman anymore after seeing she still sells the same brand of cars she killed children with. Hope parents will get justice sooner or later.

Every time I think I've seen the worst of people someone makes the effort to sink even lower.

Every time you step into a vehicle it's possible that your journey will cause a death. We should lock you up now to prevent those deaths.

OnTheShelfie · 06/07/2024 20:34

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

My friend’s ex had his first epileptic fit in his early 30s. Epilepsy is a common neurological disorder and can affect people of all ages.

I feel horrifically sorry for all involved here.

Razorwire · 06/07/2024 20:33

LemonBitter · 06/07/2024 16:54

YANBU but from what the parents said in the media the police were VVVVV unreasonable for not keeping the families in the loop whatsoever for months.

True true.
The police won’t tell you anything until the final decision. (And often early on family is lead to believe that there will be visible justice).

Chocolatecrispsandwine · 06/07/2024 20:28

I had a seizure a few years back. No warning at all and I was very lucky that I was at home at the time. It’s actually pretty common, so common in fact that the local hospital ran a ‘first seizure’ clinic. I understand that the parents of the girls who sadly died are very, very upset but sometimes there is genuinely no one to blame and the fact that they are going after the poor lady who caused the accident is awful.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 06/07/2024 20:26

There is a very good documentary series on BBC on crash scene investigations. https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/b0b056g3/the-crash-detectives

The evidence wouldn’t just be the medical information but also the car, any sign of braking / accelerating, and dash cam footage from others cars etc…

There is an episode where a driver has a seizure, after lots of investigation they do prosecute as she took medication knowing it wasn’t safe (if I remember correctly),

It is tragic for the parents and the police should have kept them informed better but they are not entitled to private medical information.

The Crash Detectives

Following Gwent Police's dedicated forensic collision investigators

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/b0b056g3/the-crash-detectives

TitusMoan · 06/07/2024 20:25

The school staff are referring to something which isn’t explained. They aren’t calling for the driver to be prosecuted. Their words as reported don’t make sense unless there is something else that hasn’t been made public.

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 20:25

BobbyBiscuits · 06/07/2024 20:20

@PinkSparklyPussyCat I feel she had a very good lawyer. If a working class benefits claiming woman in an old banger had an unexplained one off 'seizure' during a similar incident I doubt she'd have got off as lightly.

The decision of the CPS was made based on the medical evidence and diagnosis. Nothing to do with lawyers at this stage of proceedings.