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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To actually feel sorry for the woman driving the car in the Wimbledon car accident

994 replies

bagpuss90 · 06/07/2024 16:44

I’m sure I’ll be flamed here . I totally sympathise with the bereaved parents- I can’t stress that enough. I can understand them wanting justice . As we know the driver of the car suffered an epileptic seizure at the wheel - she had no history of epilepsy. I don’t see what she could have done differently. She has to live with what she did although it wasn’t her fault. AIBU to feel quite sorry for her ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
wagram · 06/07/2024 23:32

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 21:38

Because it’s a defining principle of our society that medical information is confidential.

And yet you have to disclose all sort of medical information to random insurance companies, so not so much of a defining principle after all.

We get it @ItsAlrightDarling you think the parents should accept the unfailable police's conclusions and that they are not to see any evidence for it. They should stop asking questions and move along. Nothing to see here.

lemmein · 06/07/2024 23:31

I hope they test her for ''recreational substances'', too. They can bring on seizures.

You don't think they've done that already? 🙃

oakleaffy · 06/07/2024 23:28

lemmein · 06/07/2024 23:11

I was confused by your opening line 'I’m sure I’ll be flamed here' OP as I couldn't imagine anybody not feeling sympathy for someone who caused such an horrific tragedy because of a medical event. Though you haven't been flamed, it seems your apprehension wasn't misplaced - I had no idea this tragedy was so 'polarising' as a pp put it.

I feel even more sorry for the driver reading some of these posts and I think it's really shit of the school to imply there's more to it and cause further speculation about a woman who is probably going through hell too. There's nothing to suggest this was intentional, or a result of negligent/dangerous driving - I don't care how fancy your house is, or how big your car is, waking up to carnage and knowing you've caused the death of 2 small children is an unimaginable burden. You are not being unreasonable at all feeling sorry for her.

I hope they test her for ''recreational substances'', too. They can bring on seizures.

https://www.nationalepilepsytraining.co.uk/can-taking-cocaine-cause-seizures/

“Can Taking Cocaine Cause Seizures?” - National Epilepsy Training

Taking cocaine, like many recreational drugs, can have a number of negative health effects. For cocaine, one of the concerns that many people often ask is “can taking cocaine cause seizures?”. In short, yes, cocaine can cause seizures and can also be a...

https://www.nationalepilepsytraining.co.uk/can-taking-cocaine-cause-seizures

oakleaffy · 06/07/2024 23:25

ExterminatingAngel · 06/07/2024 20:08

I agree. These cars are so big. I’m in the states where they are very popular. The messed up thing is that in order to feel safe yourself you need to get a bigger car. I wish people wouldn’t get these vehicles in the first place

It's usually nervous drivers who are drawn to them because they feel ''Safe''- but heaven help the people they hit.

They have no need for them in suburbia.

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 23:20

PossumintheHouse · 06/07/2024 23:16

What? So your logic is they would have been quiet if a nonsense prosecution had proceeded? But the fact there is no case for a prosecution means they'll just shout about it?

They're clearly unhappy with the process that led to the CPS decision and they're entitled to make that as public as they like.

And it's obviously having an impact, given the investigation is now being reviewed.

PossumintheHouse · 06/07/2024 23:16

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 23:06

I get this.

But the school/families are entitled to be very publicly pissed off about this given that their experiences with the CPS/police have obviously led them to have very little faith in the investigation. They might presumably have accepted that quietly had a prosecution proceeded, but now there is no prosecution they're presumably refusing to take it lying down and are going to kick up as much fuss as they can. Which is their right.

What? So your logic is they would have been quiet if a nonsense prosecution had proceeded? But the fact there is no case for a prosecution means they'll just shout about it?

lemmein · 06/07/2024 23:11

I was confused by your opening line 'I’m sure I’ll be flamed here' OP as I couldn't imagine anybody not feeling sympathy for someone who caused such an horrific tragedy because of a medical event. Though you haven't been flamed, it seems your apprehension wasn't misplaced - I had no idea this tragedy was so 'polarising' as a pp put it.

I feel even more sorry for the driver reading some of these posts and I think it's really shit of the school to imply there's more to it and cause further speculation about a woman who is probably going through hell too. There's nothing to suggest this was intentional, or a result of negligent/dangerous driving - I don't care how fancy your house is, or how big your car is, waking up to carnage and knowing you've caused the death of 2 small children is an unimaginable burden. You are not being unreasonable at all feeling sorry for her.

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 23:06

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:55

To create a mechanism to examine the evidence in court, despite the CPS deciding that no crime has been committed, would mean dismantling our entire criminal justice system as it currently exists and creating an entirely new process.

I get this.

But the school/families are entitled to be very publicly pissed off about this given that their experiences with the CPS/police have obviously led them to have very little faith in the investigation. They might presumably have accepted that quietly had a prosecution proceeded, but now there is no prosecution they're presumably refusing to take it lying down and are going to kick up as much fuss as they can. Which is their right.

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:55

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:50

People are entitled publicly to disagree with the CPS decision on the basis that the medical evidence hasn't been examined in court.

To create a mechanism to examine the evidence in court, despite the CPS deciding that no crime has been committed, would mean dismantling our entire criminal justice system as it currently exists and creating an entirely new process.

khaa2091 · 06/07/2024 22:54

My sister developed epilepsy (and lost her driving licence) at 35. No preceding signs / history.

friendlycat · 06/07/2024 22:52

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

You are really showing your ignorance here regarding seizures.

I think you will also find that her living in a detached house in Wimbledon has no relevance whatsoever. I should imagine that the poor parents of the sadly deceased also live in a detached house in Wimbledon as well. It is wholly inappropriate to discuss what property any of those involved live in. Shame on you.

ThePerkyDuck · 06/07/2024 22:51

marigoldandrose · 06/07/2024 22:44

@GoFigure235 yours has got to be one of the most ridiculous comments. The woman is not using her medical information to avoid a prosecution that wording is extremely misleading. It's the police/CPS who've made the decision it's not in the public interest to prosecute. It's completely different

I would argue about the ridiculous comment. Police don’t decide to prosecute unless it’s a petty crime like shoplifting. Police only gather evidence. CPS only decides and I understand that they can give the medical evidence to the parents with the drivers consent.

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:50

marigoldandrose · 06/07/2024 22:44

@GoFigure235 yours has got to be one of the most ridiculous comments. The woman is not using her medical information to avoid a prosecution that wording is extremely misleading. It's the police/CPS who've made the decision it's not in the public interest to prosecute. It's completely different

People are entitled publicly to disagree with the CPS decision on the basis that the medical evidence hasn't been examined in court.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/07/2024 22:49

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/07/2024 22:27

Bottom of the article.

Might also help to know that the interior designer posted photos in their online portfolio in April-May 2023 (it's viewable in the source code).

Janeb1965 · 06/07/2024 22:46

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

Ridiculous and absolutely untrue. My BIL had a seizure when he was 51. Came from nowhere, no history. Initially diagnosed as not epilepsy but no other known or obvious cause. He stopped driving whilst this was under investigation and just as he was told it wasn't epilepsy he had a very serious fit and ended up in hospital for a number of days, both for tests and because of the damage he did to himself. He was put on epilepsy medication and not able to drive for 12 months. He hasn't had a fit since but whilst he could drive now he very rarely does.

marigoldandrose · 06/07/2024 22:44

@GoFigure235 yours has got to be one of the most ridiculous comments. The woman is not using her medical information to avoid a prosecution that wording is extremely misleading. It's the police/CPS who've made the decision it's not in the public interest to prosecute. It's completely different

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:42

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:39

And the school and the families are saying loud and clear that they don't have confidence in the police investigation or the CPS decision.

They are entitled to do so.

Of course they are, they are entitled to say whatever they want, to whomever they want.
They are, however, not entitled to demand anyone’s private medical information, or to have a bespoke criminal justice process created for this specific case. The CPS have reviewed the evidence and decided that no crime has been committed. They make this sort of decision every single day.

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:39

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:37

It has been examined by the CPS, whose job it is to examine evidence such as this to determine whether a crime has been committed that can be prosecuted in a court of law.

And the school and the families are saying loud and clear that they don't have confidence in the police investigation or the CPS decision.

They are entitled to do so.

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:37

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:33

In essence this woman is relying on her private medical information to avoid a public, criminal charge for killing these two girls. That obviously makes it of intense interest to the families and friends of those killed and injured and blurs the line between the private and the public. While they may not be entitled to review the private medical information and she may be entitled to keep it private, they are right to state publicly in uncategorical terms that they are unconvinced that justice has been done. How can they be convinced? They haven't seen the evidence and it hasn't been examined by a court.

It has been examined by the CPS, whose job it is to examine evidence such as this to determine whether a crime has been committed that can be prosecuted in a court of law.

GoFigure235 · 06/07/2024 22:33

pam290358 · 06/07/2024 22:27

I wasn’t talking about the parents or the veracity of the decision, but answering a poster who seemed to think that the woman should make her private medical information public in order to stop people talking.

In essence this woman is relying on her private medical information to avoid a public, criminal charge for killing these two girls. That obviously makes it of intense interest to the families and friends of those killed and injured and blurs the line between the private and the public. While they may not be entitled to review the private medical information and she may be entitled to keep it private, they are right to state publicly in uncategorical terms that they are unconvinced that justice has been done. How can they be convinced? They haven't seen the evidence and it hasn't been examined by a court.

PossumintheHouse · 06/07/2024 22:33

HungryLittleCrocodile · 06/07/2024 22:23

I do agree with this. But then again, the vast majority of people will do anything possible to avoid going to jail. Most people will try and find some kind of loophole or get out clause or reason/excuse, to avoid jail time. Why would you go to jail, if you could find a way not to?

I know a woman who hounded and harassed 2 women she fell out with, sending anonymous emails to them, and ringing them late at night and hanging up, and sending pizzas and takeaways to them, and ambulances and fire engines, and also telling lies to their employer to get them into trouble. She was charged with harassment against these 2 women and was warned she could serve 3-6 months in jail.

In court, she claimed diminished responsibly and extreme depression and she cried in the dock. She admitted it all and said sorry, and the magistrate gave her 3 months suspended sentence. Got away with it after making the lives of these 2 women miserable for over a year.

Outside the court, she grinned at them, and laughed at them as she got into her car. She had totally laid it on.

I am not saying this woman in the car was faking anything, and I am sure she didn't laugh at anyone.

I'm just saying that things aren't always what they seem, and some people will do anything in their power to avoid jail time. So I do wonder, (with the reaction of people to the outcome of the court case,) if there is more to it all than we are hearing about.

There is a massive difference between a prolonged and calculated incident of harassment and an unexpected epileptic fit.

TattiePants · 06/07/2024 22:31

Rosscameasdoody · 06/07/2024 22:28

It was actually 6th July last year.

I think you've misunderstood. The article they're referring to is the interior design one about the driver's bathroom. She gave the interview in Feb 2023, before the accident although it looks like it wasn't published until earlier this year.

Themaghag · 06/07/2024 22:31

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

You are quite wrong. A friend’s 40 year old son had an out of the blue epileptic seizure that killed him. He had no previous history of epilepsy or seizures and appeared perfectly fit and well on the day it happened. A post mortem revealed no other underlying medical reason. My friend was told that epilepsy can occur for the first time at any age and first time seizures sometimes occur as a result of a stroke or a brain tumour. Fortunately, my friend’s son was at home when his seizure happened, but he could just as easily have been driving. I can’t imagine that the CPS would have dropped the case if there wasn’t convincing medical evidence, so it’s wrong to speculate on the driver’s culpability in this case.

ItsAlrightDarling · 06/07/2024 22:30

Rosscameasdoody · 06/07/2024 22:28

It was actually 6th July last year.

The posters are referring to the date of the interior design article.

Rosscameasdoody · 06/07/2024 22:28

ThePerkyDuck · 06/07/2024 22:25

Where did you see February 2023? Genuinely asking as I’ve seen a different date.

It was actually 6th July last year.