To not want a man who's broke?

YANBU but I think it's quite a leap to draw that conclusion from one incident of him declining a night out. Or maybe if you really fancied him you'd be looking at it positively and think that he's being financially responsible. I mean I get it but on the other hand lots of men would have no issue with treating women when money is tight and they wouldn't make such judgements at all.

Ask him what? He doesn’t want to go, for whatever reason.

Yes I thought this. Ask him.

I think if he fancied you he'd attend the event anyway.

So that would be the main issue, not the money )though yes I'd also want someone with similar disposable income to me)

Agreed.

If this is a deal breaker for you then it's a deal breaker.

YANBU and that’s why I waited for some one who could match my income.

Meeting another person doesn’t necessarily involve spending lots of money, you could go for a walk in the park, jogging, free cultural stuff, outdoors summer fairs etc… Im dating a guy who makes less money and we go out for a coffee, for walks or we grab a couple of beers and meet at my place For a fun chat. We’re happy doing that. Then of course if Your style of socialising is going out and spending 50 pounds every time then you’re not compatible and need to find someone on your spending level. “Priorities”, that magic word.

I wouldn’t go out with someone who was broke.

However, your thread title doesn’t match your post. It doesn’t sound like he’s broke, just that he doesn’t have an infinite amount of money so has to put the breaks on at times. Surely that’s perfectly normal and a mature approach to managing finances?

whatever they are, your feelings are valid. Nothing wrong with this scenario not working for you.

Perfectly reasonable to want similar spending power to partner. I'd say the same if sexes were reversed.

With all due respect (I don’t know you so I might be wrong), whatever the consensus from this thread, he isn’t the right man for you. If he was, this ‘problem’ wouldn’t exist.

there are lots of things that could be a red flag or cause for concern, but this seems quite a non-issue and if this gives you the ick I’d say you’re just not that into him (which is totally your right, and you don’t need to justify why you don’t completely gel). I just think that you wouldn’t even consider this if he rocked your world (it’s not as though he’s completely broke and would be sponging off you, which for me would be a deal breaker-depending on the reason)

YANBU. You’ve identified an issue at an early stage and can now back away from a possible relationship.

You should be able to enjoy your financial freedom with someone on the same wavelength. It’s not you job to subsidise him as some have implied.

So he has declined one night out because he is managing his finances properly. You are able to walk away from his but just be aware nights out\socialising may not be the only demand on his finances (maybe a huge garage bill etc need paying) and he is just being sensible.

Maybe he was just making an excuse because he didn’t fancy going out 🤷‍♀️

I agree with this too. You're at a stage where you don't need to worry about these things and it seems a bit like going backwards with this guy.

It’s fine- you can choose not to see someone for any reason you like.

I wouldn’t necessarily assume that what he’s said means he’s short of cash. People have different ideas of how to manage expenditure and for all you know your chap doesn’t want to spend too much socialising because he’s just bought a Ferrari, or he donates half his income to the orphanage. Or most likely maybe he just doesn’t want to go because he didn’t fancy it and was looking for a polite explanation.

Like you say, it might be he just doesn’t fancy it but thinks that saying he can’t afford it is more socially acceptable than admitting that he would rather eat his own eyeballs than listen to Gav-the-cycling-bore droning on about the Tour de France again.

He's been out once a week. Do you think that once a week is going out a lot? Genuine question.

You're allowed to not be with someone for any reason at all.

I don't blame you at all OP, you want to do things with your partner that cost money. It doesn't sound like he's the one for you.

@Wogglefoot He's declined a group invitation for tonight on the basis he's been out every week (once a week) for the last 5 weeks and is feeling the pinch.

he’s been out all week so basically decided to Spend his “fun & drinks” weekly budget with other friends/people just not you, unfortunately you seem to be low on his scale of priorities when it comes to “socialising”. I would dump this guy not because he has less money but because he seems to be minimally investing in you, while here you are on MN opening a thread about him. Bottom line of the story is he matters to you but you don’t matter to him much and that’s the issue (not the fact he has less money). He should be budgeting to spend time with you, he isn’t, he’s budgeting to spend time with other people.

It's not really about money but more about not being at the same stage of life, money is just the way it manifests itself.

I wouldn't think twice OP, you're not a bad person for wanting someone you're compatible with.