To not want a man who's broke?

YNBU. You are allowed to pick and choose the criteria you want/need from a potential partner.

It’s not controlling. It’s being realistic in the kind of life OP wants. She wants to enjoy her life doing things she enjoys - being with some one who can’t afford to do that would limit what she can do.

You do seem to lead a very boozy life. Perhaps he's also mindful of his liver.

All of them like out drinking or just out the house? I wouldn't think someone was skint if they said they'd been out drinking every weekend for 5 weeks and were feeling the "pinch" I'd be thinking its a combination of "fucking hell I've spent £££s on alcohol this month, that's ridiculous", "I'm nackered, I've been working then getting pissed for five weeks, I need a break." "I've had a shit week, I want a night to chill"

At the end of the day. If you feel like you're financially incompatible then you are allowed to not date him.

I meant communication

For me personally it wouldn't be a deal breaker, the particular scenario you've raised. He's not on the bones of his arse! Have you been in his house? If it's tidy, homely, clean and bigger than a bedsit then I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt. But then again I'm personally pretty broke, and always have been. Most people I know are skint for at least a week of the month.
it's up to you, your standards are perfectly valid. And I get you'd not want to be paying for him which of course you shouldn't have to! But if he pays his own way that's acceptable in my view.

OP, curious… Has he ever bought you a drink?

He declines ONE outing and you’ve written him off as too poor for you? You seem quite controlling to me actually, does he have to do everything you want him too?

How is that conversation going to go?: “Hi Frank, I know you’re a tad skint and I’m more well off than you so I’m trying to figure out how you feel about it as I expect my partner to go out with me frequently for dinner, drinks and the ocasional west end show. I mean… you’re cool as is, but I mostly need a companion for my “high life” and was wondering if you’re willing to spend the dough “.

(insert tongue in cheek tone in my post)

Of course you're not unreasonable to have specific requirements for a potential romantic partner.

It's a polite way of declining an invitation.

Alternatively, if he was aware you were going, too, he's just not that into you.

YANBU. Why don’t you have a frank chat with him, OP, as you decide whether or not this relationship has legs?

otherwise you’re making a decision based on assumptions and speculation.

talk to him about exactly what you shared in this thread. I’m sure you can do this in a kind and respectful way, and he’ll appreciate the honesty - especially if the outcome is that the relationship does not progress.

Spot on! Also you don't want looking after or being provided for and he doesn't sound like he would feel comfortable with you paying for him. I'd say give it a go

I would never reject a good man who I had lots of fun with just because he’s on a tighter budget than me, that’s being very materialistic IMO, then again… if finding a “man with money” is high in her priorities she’s entitled to be as materialistic as she wants, her life, her priorities (not mine). I’m more than happy to share a picnic in the park with my man and feed the squirrels.

Perhaps he just doesn't fancy going out for a sixth week in a row?
Perhaps he's got a fancy for a quiet night in with his feet up, a take away and the telly.
Telling people you can't afford something generally means they drop it, rather than if you tell them honestly that you just don't feel like it and have them keeping on at you, trying to persuade you to change your mind.

It’s tricky. I went on some on casual dates with someone who had very limited finances and not much way to improve them. He now lives with my best friends sister😂. He appears to have a fantastic life on social media but I sense she’s underwriting it all. If you like him I would continue to see him but I would be vigilant about this…where do you fall in his financial priorities? And if it’s casual I would be open to other men who may be a better financial match. If you like going/doing/traveling/ being out and about don’t settle for dinner at your house and sex.

I would admire him for not feeling pressured to go out and being careful about his finances.

Why is she harsh? Explain it.

So he might not know you are going, he might just not like that event, or maybe this month Is a but tight.

I think you are being a bit harsh, but if he's not for you, he's not for you.

You can find someone unsuitable for any reason at all. If he can't or won't share the lifestyle you want to live, that's a very good reason to end it.

Brakes, not breaks 😳.

Gah.

Maybe he meant more he wanted a night in rather than he had to stay in for money? I know when I've been out a lot at the weekend a simple night in tv in sounds bliss. Make sure you know for sure this is the case before you judge op, would hate you to like him but judge this wrong. However at the end of the day you have the right to not be interested in whoever and for whatever reason you wish 😁😁