To not want a man who's broke?

Of course he may not even be interested in her.

I think that's fair enough.
I'm in a relationship with someone who has a lot more disposable income than me and it's stressful for me!
We go 50/50 on holidays etc so that makes it a massive stretch for me and puts the pressure on.
He isn't obligated to pay more than me as we aren't married and don't live together etc but my situation will mean we don't do as many things as he could do if he was with someone with more money. He does also go on expensive trips away with friends etc so I don't think he is missing out but it is definitely a factor.
I have about 8 years of being in this situation due to when my child will go to uni etc. At the end of those 8 years when I have a lot more spare cash I don't think I would want a man to support financially, which I think would be fair enough as I will have spent years and years financially supporting children.

So for you I think it's absolutely fair enough that you want someone in the same ish financial position as you.

Hang on a minute OP, are the two of you even an item? It’s not clear from your posts.

if you aren’t then this is a very odd thread.

younger me had all sorts of romantic ideas about money not mattering

but at this age, I would not consider someone who is living a very different lifestyle (i.e. not just similar finances, but also approach to spending broadly similar) because (a) risk of becoming a cocklodger (b) might feel insecure (c) might not be able to participate in activities/holidays that I enjoy.

just not worth it.

Do you know what he's been doing for the last five weeks? Were they particularly spend-y? Normally, we're fine financially but we've had a run of a weekend away, a wedding, a 50th birthday party, a lot going on last weekend plus a couple of unexpected house/car expenses, we've collapsed in a heap this weekend and are enjoying doing not much and also resolved to not spend any money.

I'm 62 and comfortable but I couldn't afford to go out one night a week!
I think he's being sensible and you are being a bit precious.

he may be using this just as an excuse as he has other plans/doesn’t want to go

but if you think he will have to watch his finances while you don’t then of course YANBU to not be interested

Possibly either hates football or wants to watch at home without interruption but it's a bit churlish to say so hence this excuse. Your reasons are fine for flagging a possible incompatibility but I'd let this instance slide

Do people buy rounds? I can see that might be expensive (though it seems a few of you don't drink alcohol).

Do you know what kind of job he does? Does he have children to support?

Generally I agree with you, though. I've reached a point in my life where for the first time I have a bit more money and I don't really want to share it!

It sounds like a polite excuse to me rather than actually not being able to afford a shandy or pint if it's just going to watch the footy and he's a solvent man. not the sexiest excuse but it seems to be an effective one if he doesn't want to come.

Could the issue be that you would like someone more accepting of invitations/spontaneous rather than money being the issue?

No, I don’t want no scrubs either.

I think it’s fine… as long as you don’t tell the person.

In your scenario or OPs I would make something up as to why I couldn’t date them.

I would never say they’re too fat/skinny or don’t make enough money etc.

Of course it's discrimination. Too tall, too short, too young, too old etc, basically setting initial standards to select your friend.

I would dump this guy not because he has less money but because he seems to be minimally investing in you,

It sounds like he's just someone she knows rather than a boyfriend. She can dump him, just like I'll bump Keanu Reeves.

Agree with pp. Maybe he's just not that into soccer or felt like a night in/tired/whatever. You'd be better off straight up asking him rather than making assumptions on this board and dumping based on that. It's rather shitty.

I'd just be careful writing off someone you like based on this one example. He might not have wanted to go, it's easier to say god I've been out 5 weeks on the run I'll have to leave it instead of saying sorry guys I don't want to socialise with you tonight. So it's best to be certain that you're not financially compatible before you write him off.

You choose who you want to be with and why.

Personally I would never have dated anyone who wasn't affluent as they wouldn't have been able to do the things I did such as travel and holidays, days out restaurants, events etc

Maybe he just has different priorities for him money?

If that's a deal breaker, then fair enough.

My BIL has always worked, extra hours if needs be, but never had much money. He met someone who saw past that, they don't have lots of meals out or luxury holidays (although have a bit more money after inheritance so have paid off mortgage, leaving extra in the pot), but they've been together over 30 years and really happy. He's one of the nicest people I know and it'd be a shame if he hadn't met someone because of lack of money.

I.understand. I had a relationship like this. I was fine with it at first, just chose to pay, but after a while it grated on my nerves.

It’s a bit of a stretch to suggest him not wanting to go out for a 5th weekend in a row means he doesn’t have much disposable income.

Y having a good income and healthy savings I budget my money, so if I’ve spent that already I would try to avoid going over particularly for something I wasn’t that interested in. Just because you have ‘a budget’ for something doesn’t mean it’s a lean amount, it’s just a set amount you’re comfortable spending on whatever that category is.

Yes, of course!
That's what I'm saying, it's tricky!

He's entirely entitled to limit who he goes out with according to their body type, yes.

YANBU.
It's a tricky question though, as if a man came along and said AIBU for not wanting a fat woman?
😂

I honestly wouldn’t have an issue with this and I would actually see it as a green flag that he’s honest and doesn’t piss his money away.

But you are obviously not happy with this and that’s ok.

You have obviously done very well for yourself and you want someone who is in a similar position - there is nothing wrong with that.

My friend had similar recently because the man she was dating had much more money than her and he wanted a partner who was financially similar to him.

It seems harsh but it does make sense.

If this is a deal breaker for you then find someone who is more in your financial situation.

YANBU
inequality in a relationship always makes things difficult
You are allowed to choose a relationship that's suits you.
The reason there is do much divorce is people choose heart over head.