Heartbroken about DS's teacher

I can’t help thinking you
may have got a bit more sympathy had said something like My DS is very attached to his Teacher and I need help with supporting him with the transition as appose to coming on here bragging about your perfect child. Bragging rarely goes well, Op. Lets face it that’s what you’re doing. With all due to respects if he’s won all sorts of awards do you not think it’s about time the other kids got a chance to shine.

Even if your DS did get the same teacher, there's no guarantee that the teacher will be there for the full academic year: teachers do move on.

Not always…different teachers can change the way children view learning. I think that children benefit from adapting to change. At high school, they have to deal with multiple teachers and they need to learn to build relationships/communicate with them all. As we do as adults in the workplace. It’s a life skill.

My kids have adored certain teachers along the way and not liked others. They have made good and not so good progress with both.

Please don’t project your feelings though. Your son will be positive if you are.

It’s not your life. It’s your sons life.

Is it you that is heart broken or your son? Unfortunately life isn't a constant and this will be a good life lesson for him. You haven't said anything that suggests he wouldn't continue to do well with a different teacher and as others posters have suggested it is not good to have a special attachment to one teacher.

This thread - in particular the comments from teachers and school support staff - is a beautiful example of at least one reason why this is the case.

Who really needs this?

I always want to ask parents like OP the same direct question I would have asked one of my young students back when I taught: If I said yes to everyone who asked to do X, what would happen?

The school can’t allow every student to pick their teacher, which means they can’t fairly allow anyone to do so unless there are documented, exceptional needs (not just wants) for a specific child.

This is the UK, to assume that a teacher will still be in the profession for four years is optimistic in the extreme!

Do you realise that the kids with a good reason are struggling or have disabilities? Things that are probably going to disadvantage them for their whole lives. And here you are saying it's unfair that your child who is apparently great at everything isn't going to special consideration to pick his teacher. You need to check your privilege and grow up.

I just can't compute helicopter parenting like this, or the automatic assumption that our DC is the most special in the world and that everybody else's can go hang (the real world just doesn't work that way), or that they can do no wrong and anyone claiming otherwise needs 'confronting', or this level of micro-investment in our children's schools. Some of these people behave as though they and not their children are the ones in attendance; who are having to navigate these kinds of nuances, difficulties and arguments every day.

Poor, poor teachers and support staff! I don't know how you stand it.

And before the inevitable responses assume I'm an uninvolved, disinterested parent who couldn't care less about my child's education, I am also an educator. I value education as much as the most dedicated parent or teacher, and I'm trying (as we all are) to raise my child to be an independent, well-adjusted adult. But I'm by no means convinced that helicopter parenting and continual interference in every aspect of my child's life is the way to do it.

This kind of learned helplessness is leaching through into H.E., too. When I was a student, had my parents turned up at university to give my lecturers shit, or to challenge the grades awarded, or to complain about the course in general or plead for special attention for their ultra, uber, special little darling, I'd have thrown my coat over my head then and there and from that point onward never shown my face on campus again!

It is, however, by no means unusual these days to receive emails, phone calls, requests for meetings etc., from parents. Note that these over-18-YO students are technically adults and I barely have sufficient time to devote to them, let alone their parents into the bargain.

These people need to get a clue, or better still, a life of their own that isn't lived vicariously through their now adult kids. I'm completely out of patience with humouring this nonsense.

Wow, OP, you are getting a very hard time here! I am sorry for that and for your situation. If feels like there a lot of undercurrents with other mumsnetters. There are some teachers who are (a lot) better than others and there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child. I wish that I could suggest something apart from sending moral support. Good luck.

This is the sort of crap teachers have to deal with day in, day out. Resolving the issues of 30 kids, and then the parents. In fact the parents are often worse. Then there are the parents who don't think their their child should be sanctioned for poor behaviour. All parents who behave like this are contributing significantly towards the lowering of standards in our schools. Absolute joke - the entitlement is just astonishing.

This isn't 'heartbreaking' material. You need to get over it and accept that you can't always get your own way. If your kid is that amazing he will thrive in most settings.

What because he is not going in Mr T's class? Don't be ridiculous you sound like an entitlement brat, god help your kids!

Nah, they are fine in jobs- I've worked with a good few. People just avoid them and don't ask them to do anything as it's not worth the drama.

Your child is not the center of the universe. He’s one of many and not being given priority over others to have the teacher he (or you) like is in no way a punishment.

Do right by your child by expressing excitement about the new teacher and new classmates instead of trying to turn his great experience with a teacher into a reluctance to embrace change and new people. Remind him that he can still visit Mr T, and he gets to take all the things Mr T taught him and his memories and add to them this coming year with the new teacher & class.

This is unreal! How do you know won’t like their new teacher even more?!

I will admit that I had a little crush on my DD's reception teacher 😅 he was nearly young enough to be my son

I think it's the whole caring about your child thing... Plus she started in 2020, so the teachers were having to be extra nurturing.

In our school they've moved all the 1:1s around so all the SEN kids will be going into new classrooms with new teachers and new 1:1s. That's an awful lot for some of them so yeah, YABU.

Some people are being unnecessarily harsh but underneath the bitchyness the points they are making are sound.

DS had an excellent teacher who he really gelled with, Mr C. It was a single form entry school, and Mr C taught ds's form for 2 years. He was very popular, but he chose to leave the class after 2 years, because, he said, comolacancy set in after 2 years and he lost respect of the kids. They just got a bit too matey.

And life is like that really... two years on, I still miss the best boss I ever had, but I've had to deal with it.

🤣

I'd write to the school governors in the first instance OP, highlighting all the good qualities of your ds as in your OP. Explain that despite all your DS's great qualities, he's lacking in confidence and the only elixir for this is Mr T. Tell them that you feel that your DS is being punished for being too good. See what they say. If you are not happy with their response then write to your local MP, and maybe even go as far as the new PM, if your local MP ignores you.