Heartbroken about DS's teacher

I’m not setting up a club. I don’t like other people’s children.

I'd write to the school governors in the first instance OP, highlighting all the good qualities of your ds as in your OP. Explain that despite all your DS's great qualities, he's lacking in confidence and the only elixir for this is Mr T. Tell them that you feel that your DS is being punished for being too good. See what they say. If you are not happy with their response then write to your local MP, and maybe even go as far as the new PM, if your local MP ignores you.

OP, you may have to accept that it's you who is attached to the teacher more than your son. Don't offer to do a club with him- that's mad. If they want parent helpers for anything they'll ask.

The headteacher coming over in the conversation may indicate that there has been something flagged. Do you spend a lot of time chatting to the teacher before or after school or sending messages?

Anyone else think Mr T maybe didn’t want OP as a parent 😂😂

also I read the OP in the voice of Amanda from a motherland

Kindly, you are being a bit batshit over all this.

Try modelling a bit of resilience and change readiness to your ds. He will need it in this world.

Parents call you up at university?!! That's astonishing.

Wow, OP, you are getting a very hard time here! I am sorry for that and for your situation. If feels like there a lot of undercurrents with other mumsnetters. There are some teachers who are (a lot) better than others and there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child. I wish that I could suggest something apart from sending moral support. Good luck.

I just can't compute helicopter parenting like this, or the automatic assumption that our DC is the most special in the world and that everybody else's can go hang (the real world just doesn't work that way), or that they can do no wrong and anyone claiming otherwise needs 'confronting', or this level of micro-investment in our children's schools. Some of these people behave as though they and not their children are the ones in attendance; who are having to navigate these kinds of nuances, difficulties and arguments every day.

Poor, poor teachers and support staff! I don't know how you stand it.

And before the inevitable responses assume I'm an uninvolved, disinterested parent who couldn't care less about my child's education, I am also an educator. I value education as much as the most dedicated parent or teacher, and I'm trying (as we all are) to raise my child to be an independent, well-adjusted adult. But I'm by no means convinced that helicopter parenting and continual interference in every aspect of my child's life is the way to do it.

This kind of learned helplessness is leaching through into H.E., too. When I was a student, had my parents turned up at university to give my lecturers shit, or to challenge the grades awarded, or to complain about the course in general or plead for special attention for their ultra, uber, special little darling, I'd have thrown my coat over my head then and there and from that point onward never shown my face on campus again!

It is, however, by no means unusual these days to receive emails, phone calls, requests for meetings etc., from parents. Note that these over-18-YO students are technically adults and I barely have sufficient time to devote to them, let alone their parents into the bargain.

These people need to get a clue, or better still, a life of their own that isn't lived vicariously through their now adult kids. I'm completely out of patience with humouring this nonsense.

I'd write to the school governors in the first instance OP, highlighting all the good qualities of your ds as in your OP. Explain that despite all your DS's great qualities, he's lacking in confidence and the only elixir for this is Mr T. Tell them that you feel that your DS is being punished for being too good. See what they say. If you are not happy with their response then write to your local MP, and maybe even go as far as the new PM, if your local MP ignores you.

I just can't compute helicopter parenting like this, or the automatic assumption that our DC is the most special in the world and that everybody else's can go hang (the real world just doesn't work that way), or that they can do no wrong and anyone claiming otherwise needs 'confronting', or this level of micro-investment in our children's schools. Some of these people behave as though they and not their children are the ones in attendance; who are having to navigate these kinds of nuances, difficulties and arguments every day.

Poor, poor teachers and support staff! I don't know how you stand it.

And before the inevitable responses assume I'm an uninvolved, disinterested parent who couldn't care less about my child's education, I am also an educator. I value education as much as the most dedicated parent or teacher, and I'm trying (as we all are) to raise my child to be an independent, well-adjusted adult. But I'm by no means convinced that helicopter parenting and continual interference in every aspect of my child's life is the way to do it.

This kind of learned helplessness is leaching through into H.E., too. When I was a student, had my parents turned up at university to give my lecturers shit, or to challenge the grades awarded, or to complain about the course in general or plead for special attention for their ultra, uber, special little darling, I'd have thrown my coat over my head then and there and from that point onward never shown my face on campus again!

It is, however, by no means unusual these days to receive emails, phone calls, requests for meetings etc., from parents. Note that these over-18-YO students are technically adults and I barely have sufficient time to devote to them, let alone their parents into the bargain.

These people need to get a clue, or better still, a life of their own that isn't lived vicariously through their now adult kids. I'm completely out of patience with humouring this nonsense.