Heartbroken about DS's teacher

Yes I was expecting to read that he was dying…

*The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?*

Me! I've thought of something! It is this.....

....get a grip and learn to trust the school's professional judgement.

Are you unaware that 99.9% of children have a different teacher each year?

I know it's hard when something works well but change has to be a learnt.

My son had a teacher like this for THREE academic years in primary.
She was unwell, and also was well known for disliking boys.
I think she should have retired in n health grounds.

She had a nickname “
Shouty ( Surname) “
A very bad tempered woman who smoked like a chimney.

Nicotine withdrawals possibly made her so Ill tempered .

The Head was lovely.

If you have genuine concerns about the teacher your DS is going to then fair enough. If there isn’t a concern and this teacher gets great results I think you have to accept this.

Your son isn’t being punished and I think you are being over dramatic.

Sometimes kids and teachers just click and that is wonderful but it’s unrealistic to expect this all of the time.

The new teacher sounds great so I would move up into next year full of hope and optimism. To do otherwise, is to do your child a disservice.

Absolutely this.
Children whose fathers have left will probably thrive with a good , solid male role model.

As PP have said, some children won’t ever get Mr T.

The staff probably k ow the children who are lacking a strong role model in their lives, so a good teacher can possibly help .

OP’s husband hasn’t run off (yet- ) so her son has the advantage of a dad at home.

I get it op. In my experience all it takes is one year of one shit teacher and that can really mess a child up.
I have two children: eldest is now at secondary but they had two awful years with two horrendous people at primary who should never have been teaching children.
My youngest has only had the one bad teacher . It messed him up a lot and it wasn’t just him- hates boys and it is so apparent. It is common knowledge to parents at the school of boys just how badly she treats the two sexes so unfairly. Most parents each year pray they won’t get her next year but the trouble is she is protected by the head regardless of how many complaints there are about her .

Good ( and kind ) teachers are worth their weight in gold.

Hateam

I often have nothing left to give child after one year. They've heard (suffered) all of my jokes and little fun things.

I love this!! (Raises a glass)

I think you've had some really shitty replies on this thread, OP. That said, you've had some understanding ones also.

I totally get why you wouldn't want things to change as your son has blossomed under this particular teacher but that doesn't mean that he won't develop further and better, as he grows up, with the succession of teachers that he will have. Mr T will be a fond memory for him in the way that many of us remember good teachers that we had (Miss McCann for me).

What matters now is how you deal with this. I know that you wrote your thread hoping that posters would come up with a plan for you to keep your son with Mr T but you know that is not going to happen; it can't happen. You will need to get over your sadness and lack of control feelings and play up for your son. Jolly him along into the new school class and treat it as an adventure. He will then have a good base from which to jump.

Put your 'heartbreak' behind you and think of your son and what's best for him.
Ask your son what Mr T would like as a present because that present will be from him rather than you.

It will all be fine.

I have not RTFT - only the OP comments. As a teacher, I am shaking my head in disbelief. I get that you want the teacher that you consider the best for your son - I honestly do. However, surely you see that your child is not number one in the eyes of the school. Number one in your eyes certainly (the way it should be) but definitely not from the school’s viewpoint. They are treating him the way he should be treated - and he is in a class which has been sorted in a particular way dependent on however the school decides on classes. No special treatment just because of your own viewpoint.

Please accept this and move on. You are not doing your son any favours if you try and guide him along every single route of life and I mean this in the kindest way. Dont be the reason for your child not being able to cope with disappointments or hardships as he gets older.

You’re being ridiculous I’m afraid. Be glad your son had such a nice time with Mr T, and move on.

I'm a primary school teacher.

There have been a few occasions in my 25 years when I've had some children two years in a row.

It doesn't always work out well.

I often have nothing left to give child after one year. They've heard (suffered) all of my jokes and little fun things.

A second year with the same teacher may not be as good as the first.

Same here! Mum was a teacher, and a very good Head died of cancer far too young.

If you've got loads of children, one of them might have Mr T in future, so you'll get to see him again.

From the thread title I thought OP was going to say the teacher had passed away or something!🤦‍♀️.Op,your son will be fine with another teacher I'm sure,my DD was always upset at having to change teachers as she progressed through the years but she always loved the next one as much as the last.

This!
Never heard such ridiculous entitlement before.
There are always wonderful teachers ( looking at you, Miss Kitson) where lots of children cried when she left-

YABU

Just lucky your son isn’t with a teacher he dislikes!

God I thought this thread was going to be that the teacher had died or had cancer or something from the title. So dramatic.

I’m sorry but I think you need to get a grip. Being punished for being good? Really?! I hope your DS hasn’t heard you say such nonsense. Classes get mixed up all of the time. Building resilience is the best life lesson you could give your DS.

"I'm however glad you've not had to face anything harder in your life"

Harder than Mr T? Nowt's harder than Mr T.

I understand being sad that your son won't have his amazing teacher next year, but that's life! Dd has just been separated from 2 of her best friends due to classes being mixed up next year. It's sad but a good life lesson. She had an amazing teacher last year that really built up her confidence and I was sad to see her go. From September that amazing teacher will have ds who is currently being assessed for sen and is an entirely different beast to dd. I'm curious to see how they get on.

Teachers have to change op, there’ll be ups and downs and your child will have other teachers that will give them as much if not more than Mr T and you’ll only find out randomly, possibly way after they’ve had them. I can name all of my kids’ teach et s and I have a line on all of them, the ones I was worried about taught them resilience or gave them tough love that actually worked well or honed in on a subject they never would have known they liked. The one I worried about the most got one of my kids more than any other teacher and I only found out waaayyyy later that he thought she was the best teacher in the school in opposition to the ray of the school (there’s one obvious favourite teacher that has even been nominated for a local award).

if you don’t allow your child to experience all the possibilities you could honestly hold them back.

Be careful about giving your child the same inflated sense of entitlement

Have you emphasised that this is an award-winning child who should get everything he wants?? Why are they being so unreasonable about this?

I thought that too. One of my teachers died in primary school. I'm sure it would be handled better nowadays.

You’re being ridiculous and precious about your son being punished for being a good kid!
He is changing teachers because that is what happens and no other reason.
You need to teach your kid about good endings, many many relationships end. Trying to micro manage teachers that you prefer is not helping. The most important gift you can give is teach him to be thankful for the good relationship and let go, full of confidence and ready to establish a new one.