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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my children in wraparound care?

177 replies

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:12

There’s no way to avoid it of course unless I give up work until my youngest is leaving primary but does anyone else hate the thought of wraparound care? The school day is long enough for little ones and I feel guilty. I know I wouldn’t have liked it.

OP posts:
TrashyP · 06/07/2024 11:19

I remember hating after school club , by 3:30 I'd had my fill of people, but my mum needed the childcare when she went back to work and I was 9/10ish
My son's just finished his first year of primary and loves it. It gives him unstructured supervised time to play with mixed ages which means he has "cool older school friends" and is further honing his social game.
I felt awful he would be in it so much during my ex's parenting time, so out of my control.
Think it totally depends on the kid.

Next year I'm opting to send him to breakfast club during my parenting time for consistency for him and to ease the pressure of rushing for me. He asked to go.

Floralsofa · 06/07/2024 11:17

My first thought is to agree, but then again my DS (8) goes to a childminder before/after school Mon-Wednesday, he absolutely loves it and whinges that he doesn't go the other days and then also asks why he can't go at weekends too.

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 11:17

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 11:07

Most after school clubs finish earlier than nursery, so it may just be for practical reasons.

But also, I do think wrap-around is different from nursery in the sense that they're going do it from a busy (and often tiring day) at school, whereas in nursery they still have naps, quiet time etc, so it's not necessarily as full-on.

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Naps?! My DD hasn’t had a nap since she was 2, she was at nursery until 5 as Sept born. The nursery day for a 4 year old is not very different to reception.

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 11:14

TheYearOfSmallThings · 06/07/2024 11:08

Ours is from 8am to 6pm, and all the schools around here are similar (some open at 7:30am, and one of those closes at 5:30pm).

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I live rurally, the school only has 68 kids 4-11, we are lucky to have 7.45-5.30.

Fizbosshoes · 06/07/2024 11:11

I only used a couple of days a week for my DC. One of them really didn't get on with it so went to a CM, the other was fine so went to ASC and Breakfast club.
I wouldn't have liked them to do both breakfast and ASC every day if I'm really honest but I was lucky that I was able to work pt that meant they didn't have to, but for a lot it's probably a necessity

Zanatdy · 06/07/2024 11:10

Mine never particularly minded. I worked 4 days a week until both in secondary and then went full time. They were in daycare too, now 16 and 19 and thankfully childcare is a thing of the past. I never felt guilty, I’m working my ass off at my career providing for my kids and showing them women can be successful too. I bet their dad didn’t feel any guilt

TheYearOfSmallThings · 06/07/2024 11:08

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 11:06

We have had to make flexible working arrangements to accommodate the fact that wraparound is a shorter day. It’s a fucking nightmare to be honest but it is what it is.

If wraparound went until 6 we would use it but it doesn’t.

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Ours is from 8am to 6pm, and all the schools around here are similar (some open at 7:30am, and one of those closes at 5:30pm).

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 11:07

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 11:02

Sorry - I meant that someone’s children were in nursery until 6 but after school club until 530 and I wondered why they were picked up earlier from after school club. It looks rude and intrusive though and that wasn’t the intention so ignore it.

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Most after school clubs finish earlier than nursery, so it may just be for practical reasons.

But also, I do think wrap-around is different from nursery in the sense that they're going do it from a busy (and often tiring day) at school, whereas in nursery they still have naps, quiet time etc, so it's not necessarily as full-on.

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 11:06

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 11:02

Sorry - I meant that someone’s children were in nursery until 6 but after school club until 530 and I wondered why they were picked up earlier from after school club. It looks rude and intrusive though and that wasn’t the intention so ignore it.

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We have had to make flexible working arrangements to accommodate the fact that wraparound is a shorter day. It’s a fucking nightmare to be honest but it is what it is.

If wraparound went until 6 we would use it but it doesn’t.

Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 11:02

That’s lovely @Beezknees . I am definitely projecting.

OP posts:
Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 11:02

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 10:57

I'm not sure what you mean by different? Could you elaborate?

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Sorry - I meant that someone’s children were in nursery until 6 but after school club until 530 and I wondered why they were picked up earlier from after school club. It looks rude and intrusive though and that wasn’t the intention so ignore it.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 06/07/2024 11:01

My DS went from age 7 and enjoyed it. He actually asked to go on Fridays even though I didn't need him to as I finished work at 1 on Fridays back then.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 06/07/2024 10:58

Thinking about it, one of the best things about ASC is that it keeps them off screens and being active until at least 6pm. If I tried to WFH with my son at home, he would be trying to get onto screens without a doubt.

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 10:57

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:53

I know but wondered what was different between nursery (6) and school (530)? Just idly wondering, no need to answer.

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I'm not sure what you mean by different? Could you elaborate?

Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:53

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 10:50

It's pretty normal for children to be in nursery for those hours, yeah.

I was in childcare from 7.30-6 as a baby/toddler, and that was in the very early nineties.

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I know but wondered what was different between nursery (6) and school (530)? Just idly wondering, no need to answer.

OP posts:
Hotgirlwinter · 06/07/2024 10:52

Nope! Mine enjoy it, they have a wide group of friends and love the different activities.

it also means I can work, progress my career and give them much more enrichment outside of school and I’m not stressed about money and am building for their future. They also see me working and they understand responsibility, commitment and schedule.

If you can afford it then I see no reason to not use it but I see no reason for guilt. I went to a childminder in the 80s/90s because my parents worked - I remember my mums heels clip clopping up the path to pick me up when she finished and I always felt so proud because most of my friends mums didn’t work.

It’s not the worst thing OP by a long shot but ultimately you do what is right for your family

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 10:50

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:48

Did you actually have them in nursery until 6, though? I pay for 730-630 but they are never actually there at those times!

Yes on my office days, not on my WFH days.

fieldsofbutterflies · 06/07/2024 10:50

doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:48

Did you actually have them in nursery until 6, though? I pay for 730-630 but they are never actually there at those times!

It's pretty normal for children to be in nursery for those hours, yeah.

I was in childcare from 7.30-6 as a baby/toddler, and that was in the very early nineties.

Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:48

Did you actually have them in nursery until 6, though? I pay for 730-630 but they are never actually there at those times!

OP posts:
Greengagesnfennel · 06/07/2024 10:48

My kids loved it when they were little. As others said it’s like playing out with friends after school (but supervised). When it was difficult was the in between years 9-10. They weren’t so keen on club anymore and wanted to mooch at home but too young to leave them to come home on their own.
swapped to childminder for 9-10

WiseBiscuit · 06/07/2024 10:47

Wraparound care is shorter than the nursery day, and DD has been fine with that so I’m not bothered by wraparound.

Nursery was 7.30-6 51 weeks a year
Wraparound is 7.45-5.30 38 weeks a year

Wakeywake · 06/07/2024 10:47

Mine loved it, I think mostly because they made good friends there. They were basically playing with their friends for a couple of hours and did their homework. I used to pick them up and they'd beg to stop at the play park with their friends, so they couldn't have been that tired.

Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:45

Thanks for the responses. I probably will stay part time (although earning so little is depressing) while they’re at primary school so they only have to do three days a week but it does still feel like a lot, somehow.

Realistically there’s no way I could rely on one person. All it would take would be one person being unwell once and massive stress would ensue!

OP posts:
NeedthatFridayfeeling · 06/07/2024 10:42

My daughter loves it, gets a proper play time before and after school with her friends

Original poster
doyouhaveanything · 06/07/2024 10:42

@AmelieTaylor for gods sake. Do you really think if an after school nanny rang in sick I could say to my employer ‘sorry, I’m going home early’? I couldn’t Hmm

Will read the other responses now.

OP posts: