Oh I desperately need an outsiders opinion please!
Daughter is 10 and in year 6. The environment between her and her friends at school has become pretty toxic in the last few months and I’ve tried so hard to advise on my side and keep the school informed - school have been great so far!
I get a call today to say my daughter, who usually doesn’t say boo to a ghost, got into a fight with another girl. This other girl has previously stolen from my daughter and slapped her a couple of months ago (toxic environment example!). I’ve only ever told my kids that physical force is only acceptable if you’re in danger and it is your only means of safety and I know my daughter wasn’t innocent in what happened today. I’m disappointed in her behaviour and there will be consequences. She could have walked away, she chose not to. By all accounts, my daughter was picked up off the floor by two boys whilst some other girls then started fighting the other girl.
My daughter leaves school by herself and comes to meet me or her dad at the car less than a 2-3 minute walk away. She has a phone to call us whilst she walks. Today, she called her dad hysterically sobbing because the mum pulled her to the side in the playground at the end of the day and screamed in her face “are you the bitch who beat up my daughter?”. Apparently there was more she said but her dad wasn’t sure of the exact wording to tell me (we’re separated) so he’s getting my daughter to write it down when she’s calmer. My daughter is now anxiety riddled and petrified to go to school on Monday. She suffered with anxiety during Covid and we worked with the Children’s Mental Health service to try and get back on track.
I’ve notified the school who have asked my daughter to write it all down and email it over the weekend ready for Monday morning. I will obviously walk her to school and collect her from the playground next week and she has to report directly to a member of staff. Now I understand a mum who is upset because her daughter has been hurt, I’ve been in her shoes, but screaming in a 10 year olds face until they’re sobbing can’t be okay - can it? I was absolutely livid when I found out.
Am I being unreasonable to escalate this with the school as I have done considering everything that’s happened? Someone has mentioned that it’s a “consequence for fighting” but I really don’t see it that way when the school were dealing with the fight? Would really appreciate an outsiders perspective… how would you feel?