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Original poster

Early retirement hubby and I hate it

56 replies

Formbyshopping · 05/07/2024 19:04

My late fifty year old hubby has now taken early (too early) retirement this month, and I feel well.. awful
I know that most people would consider me lucky , we have a large mortgage free house and a good income, I work part time , but for fun not money so all things are on the face of it great.
My DH has now decided that he will be golfing ( a lot more ..) Im feeling so lonely and sad even though I have lovely friends ect I feel like my role is very different now and I well hate it, early days yetI know , but Im dreading the endless ‘pottering’ and awaiting Grandkids
i just want for our old life to continue for a while longer

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 05/07/2024 19:16

Charlotte120221 · 05/07/2024 19:10

Why is him retiring and playing more golf making you feel lonely?

I think many of us would feel lonely if we previously felt we had a good relationship, but our spouse who now had an extra 50-plus hours a week had automatically earmarked them for a hobby with his mates without discussion. DH and I plan to retire early, and whilst that means we’ll both have more time to devote to hobbies and friends, we’ve also both been very clear that we can’t wait to just hang out with each other more!

Useruserdoubleuser · 05/07/2024 19:15

What’s annoying? Him being around on your days off? How old are you? Are you used to him being out and having a big job? Do you not like the image of yourselves as a comfortable middle aged couple with golfing etc?

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/07/2024 19:11

I think you both need to communicate better and establish what you each want your “new life” to look like. If he doesn’t want to spend any of his free time with you, that needs some exploration and some honest talk from you both: you aren’t “lucky” if your husband now has the option to do more or less whatever he wants but would rather be anywhere else whenever he can than in your company.

Charlotte120221 · 05/07/2024 19:10

Why is him retiring and playing more golf making you feel lonely?

Runnerinthenight · 05/07/2024 19:09

I can't see what difference it makes.

sesquipedalian · 05/07/2024 19:08

So what exactly is it of your “old life” before retirement that you miss? Surely if he is off golfing, it’s the same as if he was out at work. I don’t see why it’s making you feel “lonely and sad” - why can’t you live your life the same way that you did before he retired?