Early retirement hubby and I hate it

I do kind of get it OP. You DH is in the Retired lane and his days are filled with self indulgence now, whereas you used to buzz off both having a common experience of contributing, a bit of pressure maybe, a sense of work hard play hard. My DP is mid 60s and semi retired - he does some sessions at work, but two existing voluntary roles in organisations have massively expanded as well as a hobby (allotment) and there's always a story to tell. I still work full time in a demanding role. I don't like myself for thinking this, but I would not respect him if his life was given over entirely to pleasure. But your DH deserves this, if this is his reward for years in a big job, and I'd try and enjoy it vicariously, I think you'll adapt to a different pace but it will take time.

If you and hubby have a day off together go and visit family or have a lunch out in somewhere different.

What a weird perspective to only value/admire when people contribute to society in a visible way.
The guy is not a drain on society, his leisure activities keep others in employment. His stress levels are probably way down since his retirement which is good for his health so he doesn't need to trouble his GP. Etc etc

When I worked full time for 30 plus years I always thought that I'd love retirement.

However, when Covid struck and I lost my job and was out of work for 2 years, I came to the realisation that at 57 I am not ready to retire, love being around people and going out.

I do temp contracts now (office based work) and I also do casual work in the evenings in events as a hostess in an Arts environment and I love it! It you like meeting and making small talk with people then it's perfect!

I'll probably do some sort of volunteering when I finally do retire.

That still doesn’t make much sense. There are so many things to talk about and do besides work. I think good for him retiring early, so he can enjoy his hobbies & hopefully get fitter and healthier. Why should he carry on working because you feel lonely?

You need to develop your own hobbies & interests. The couples I know who have retired early are off travelling, enjoying life & looking great on it!

Many people would disagree. Especially about physical health. I do much more walking and exercise when I'm not at work. I have a long list if things I would like to get involved with when I retire. Hopefully in my late 50's!

OP so you feel lonely because rather than talking to you about his work he can now only talk about golf?

if you’re happy working part time then surely you can still talk about your holidays? And possibly find some joint interests?

or do you honestly want him
yo go back to work as you felt more connected to him when he worked?!

You sound like one of those couples that sit opposite each other in the restaurant, with nothing to talk about.

The bloke’s done well to work all his life and be financially secure now. You’d rather he worked himself into the ground so you can ‘potter’ about.

I’m sure you can think of other subjects to talk about: family, friends, politics, TV, books, music, holidays etc.

Enjoy your job and let him enjoy his golf.

Because someone doesn't work they have no purpose?

There is more to life than work and retiring in your fifties often means you have the fitness and energy to do/try other things.
My husband and I left work when we were 56. We moved to Southern Europe, are renovating a property and have a holiday rental property that we manage.
My husband plays golf, I have taken up other hobbies. We are very busy with our new lifes and have endless things to discuss that are far more interesting than work.
Absolutely zero regrets, embrace the change.

You need to find different things to talk about. My DH took early retirement and, yes I do get more bike (not golf) chat than I used to from him, but he was never keen on either of us spending much time talking about work. So we always talked about other things. On the plus side, he does much more of the housework and cooking than I do now. Find the positives in the change.
It's been great for him, no getting bored not working, and apart from occasionally feeling a little envious, it's been great for me.

I don’t get it, you haven’t retired have you? Surely you can still talk about your job and how your days been. Do you just find him boring now he’s retired? Why can’t you still look forward to trips away?

But he wouldn’t have to wait more if OP wasn’t just working part time. He now has an extra 50 hours a week to do whatever he wants, but OP has had 25hr or whatever it is on her part time schedule to do what she wanted and the DH didn’t get this. So what’s the difference really?

But nobody is stopping you from working and feeling like a functioning member of society. How is this impacted by your husband’s retirement? I’m really struggling to understand what you are unhappy about to be honest.

I think perhaps my OP didnt explain how very happy we are / were as a couple, both having chats about work, looking forward to holidays and breaks, I now dont have those days, I have days talking about how many off par he was ect, I think working life means you both have something to chat about and feel like part of a functioning member of society

This is even worse.
Literally work is the only difference. He can still discuss interests, holiday plans, aspirations.
Imagine a DH said this about his wife who wanted to take time out to look after their children, how he doesn’t feel he can have any meaningful conversations with her anymore as she’s not a functioning member of society without continual paid employment.

Yeah I don’t get it either…

So you are happy to work part time and have a large amount of free “pottering about” time in the week, but you want your husband to continue to work in his FT job because it makes you feel old that he’s retired?

Yep, I'm totally with you OP. My husband retired 10 years ago in his mid 50's. He is 7 years older than me and I am still working part time, just cannot imagine having no purpose!

My retired 62 year old husband plays golf three days a week. I am still working fulltime, It doesn't bother me because he never plays at the weekend.

Well if you want to spend more time with him, give up your job and travel the world as you appear to have the income to be able to do so and don't need the money from your job. If you are working albeit part-time what do you expect him to do? If he's playing golf while you are working what's the issue? Your OP doesn't really make much sense.

Hi OP, like the other people who have responded, I am unsure what exactly you hate so much that's changed? Is it because you have less time on your own at home? Time that you have savoured? Your husband has every right to retire and enjoy time on the golf course. You are extremely fortunate to only have to work for fun and you have no financial worries. You need to build on that and reframe your thinking to accommodate the change in the dynamics of your relationship as a result of your husband retiring. I don't mean to sound harsh but retirement brings huge changes for relationships and significant readjustment.
Wishing you well

My husband retired in his late 50s, and we both love it.
He has loads of hobbies, so is often out or away - I'm so happy for him that he now has time to do this.
I work part-time, volunteer, and have my own interests and trips away.
We do some holidays & things together, but we have never relied on each other for company - time apart is just as valuable as time together.
Also, don't assume there will be grandchildren - that's not fair on your kids, and you can't live your life thru them or thru your husband, OP. You live your life for you.

What material difference does it make to your life whether he goes out to work 9-5 in an office versus to play golf? Bit confused.

My DH wants to take early retirement and I’m trying to talk him out of him. I don’t think it’s healthy to retire in your 50s. All that time of finding things to do. I think it narrows your world and affects your social skills and to some extent your physical health. I don’t think YABU OP.