To think that my sons teacher is making a big deal out of something quite small

So what are you actually looking for by posting on here?

Your son did something unacceptable and the teacher told you that he had done it.

You imposed consequences at home, which indicates that you also think the behaviour was unacceptable.

You seem quite sure that this was a one-off and your son has no difficulties or issues.

Were you hoping that everyone would tell you it's OK that he grabbed and hurt a member of staff, and that the teacher should have given him/you a round of applause instead?

It sounds like he may have been a bit heavy handed, but no I wouldn't call that physical violence. He's 4 and still learning boundaries and how to regulate his emotions.

really? you have to ask?

was ds seeing ta for first time or not?

agreed.

also see first post and 4 posts reply in- tone changed when she realised what pp thought of her ds behaviour. I did feel sorry for op, as only a mum could do that to protect their child.

What? Why does it matter if it's okay or not? A 4 year old is sometimes going to do things that are no okay. Blimey.

I think if you don't see whacking or kicking as an issue with behaviour, then I'm afraid there lies the problem

Your posts are so contradictory 🤔

@Eshmee what about the whacking and kicking?

He's not 'only 4'; he'll be 5 within the next 6 weeks or so.

And he's had an entire Reception year to learn and understand that grabbing people is wrong, especially hard enough to leave a mark on a grown up.

Is it he forgot the name or he didn't know her name? Massive difference. One would make 'grabbing gently I must point out, ok-sh' and the other definitely not ok.

We have also had, TA's first day/new.

There is nothing wrong with a 4yo playing PlayStation or watching Tv etc.

As long as you have a limit to screen time and he’s not in front of it all day, then it’s absolutely fine.

Ah OP. I do remember when my DD (first baby) started foundation. She started in 2020 so they spent most of the year in lockdown, and the nursery had also been in lockdown for some weeks before starting.

I remember her teacher (who was lovely tbf) sent me a message to say that DD had had to sit on the bench alone during break because she had blown a raspberry at a child who had snatched a toy off of her quite harshly.

The way she worded it, was like "I'm sure you understand how serious this is". Well, like, yes but why should barely 5 year old DD who has barely been able to leave the house be treated like she would be fully aware that this was some kind of capital crime? I was not impressed tbh.

Sometimes when you are around kids all day and constantly having to remind them of the basics, I think a bit of perspective is lost!

In my experience teachers don't really spot the signs and some jump straight to it being intentional behaviour or parent blaming. If you have brought this up with the teacher already I'm guessing you've considered it's a possibility. You know your children better than anyone so if you feel there are some additional needs try and push for support from Senco or school nurse.
Children can become labeled as 'naughty' when they just need extra support to have their needs met.

all good. you still haven't said why he needed to 'react' to get attention from ta? You say he reacts when upset etc etc.But who upset him before grabbing TA so hard, just for attention? Only thing I can think of, is the impulse with which he plays his playstation.

There is a disconnect in your explanation of what makes him react and description of what teachers say actually happened. Focus on what teachers said, support them and help your ds.

"He doesn't have any behavioural issies"

But, he does?

Thank you for explaining, and sorry to be out of step with the OP l, but I was answering this,
Hesma · Today 18:57
No teaching assistant should have to accept being physically assaulted by a child

For a 4 year old to leave a mark…..

Certainly on it’s own I would feel this shouldn’t have been a big deal, but if, as you you say, your DS has form for hitting out, I am guessing it is being treated more seriously, regardless of his intentions.
Working in the Foundation Stage, I often have children tapping, pulling or grabbing at me. I just gently say ‘Please, don’t tap/pull/grab me, I don’t like that. Please, use my name and I can help you.’
If a child had hurt me when grabbing me, I would simply say ‘Ouch, that hurt when you grabbed me, please use your words if you want to talk to me.’
But you said this TA is new so maybe she wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it in the moment and showed a teacher when they got to assembly.
You said your DS finds it challenging to self regulate, can I ask what support he is getting from the school for this?

Personally, I would not punish your child at home for this, especially as you say it was not his intention to hurt the adult and he has already been told off at school.
I would just explain to him again why it’s important to use gentle hands and help him to make an apology card for the TA.