To think that my sons teacher is making a big deal out of something quite small

@Eshmee

whst should you be doing?

logging off, having a drink, winding down for the weekend, not riding to the bait set by sanctimonious, twattish posters!!

he's 4, he grabbed her arm to get her attention. I would definitely NOT have punished him at home. I'd have explained he accidentally hurt her when grabbing her & that it's best not to try to get someone's attention like that, just call out 'excuse me' if you don't know her name.

the wet TA has caused all this fuss, if she'd just explained at the time that it hurt & please don't do it again & enquired as to what he wanted, it would have been over in a minute.

he grabbed her arm for attention, he didn't belt her because he was angry!!

@GoFigure235 I used to work with small children. I was never once assaulted.

Because that's a risk that comes with working with small children with limited emotional control?

A 4 year old is not yet a violent thug, so that's you catastrophising the teacher relaying simple facts.

Insisting the school is making a big deal out of a small thing is more of a problem than anything else. You don't need to punish him, but have a chat with him again about it being inappropriate to grab and maintain a good relationship with the school so you're kept abreast of any issues.

Grabbing an adult hard enough to leave a mark simply to get attention, is what I would expect from a 2 year old not a four year old. It's not "violence" or "physical assault" or anything like that. but it's definately an indication that your child is struggling to learn acceptable ways of getting attention and maybe struggling to cope with learning communication in general. You and school need to be working hard to teach him better ways to communicate and help him use them. The bottom line is other kids are not going to be ok with this and neither should they be. Letting the behaviour continue will ensure that your "nasty kid" who the others avoid and leave out because they don't like his behaviour.

@Runnerinthenight

they do, but it’s not a race to the bottom.

🙄. There are reasons why 4yos aren't criminally responsible for their behaviour. Being hit by a young child is entirely different to being hit by an adult.

If he left a mark on an adults arm, he could hurt a child of the same age quite easily.
This behaviour needs nipping in the bud and is probably one of the reasons why school are coming down hard about it. They have a duty to safeguard the other children in the class aswell.

Why should she be assaulted at work

Leaving a mark on an adults arm, isn’t normal for a reception child. Until you see the issue, I have a feeling your ds will continue to do the same thing.

someone pulls on me in school
and leaves a mark=I’ve been assaulted. As in the real world

This. I can’t believe how many people are defending this

Threatening physical violence is the lowest of the low behaviour. Says a lot about you.

Teaching assistants are woefully underpaid imo but the answer to this is to raise pay so I don't get what this has to do with the OP's son.

You are the ‘worried Mum’. Someone is a school member assaulted at work.

Quite. I don't think they should have to at all but I was just saying as the OP clearly thinks it's okay for them to have one. It's about a week long punishment.

🙄

It's not nice to hear so I feel for u but it's far from normal. My son is nearly 6 and has never, ever been physical with anyone ever his entire life. Hitting should result in consequences from the parent - they need to learn. If they aren't deterred it gets worse. There is a child in my son's year 1 class who only ever has 'gentle chats from mum' and he is a total nightmare now, multiple children are allowed nowhere near him and my son is scared of him.

FWIW I've been a ta and a teacher and have never ever been grabbed or hit by a child.

I don't know what your point is. I wouldn't be letting my four year old have one anyway but any punishment that lasts a week is too much for a four year old.

Totally agree.

@Runnerinthenight

"I have a feeling that we might be diammetrically opposed on most things so best if we don't converse."

And for that, I count my lucky stars.

Yes, I agree. And I’m surprised that a TA was shocked. I thought TAs would be well aware that some children in reception would grab someone else’s arms. A small scratch would leave a mark, for crying out loud.

I’ve always been a bit uneasy about attitudes towards (some) young boys’ behaviour to be honest. Hitting and kicking need to be dealt with, yes - but the nasty, sly behaviour that other children exhibit - particularly some girls - often seems to be ignored. When you parent help on trips you can see that it’s always the former that attracts teachers’ attention, because it’s obvious. But the other is going on as well, upsetting other children. Often the hitting or kicking is a response to the nastiness of others.

OP, reinforce the ‘ kind hands’ messages - and I’d rethink the PS. Mine weren’t on it until about 8. I accept it’s not easy if siblings are close in age - mine weren’t.

TG a bit of sense!

HE IS ONLY 4
ive been a TA, he got excited, forgot her name, cos HES 4, and grabbed her arm.
the TA should have stopped and spoken to him, Jesus Christ, poor kid