Namechanged for this (don't know why)
Didn't know whether to post in menopause/relationships but figured I'd get more responses here.
Just need to rant/get everything off my chest today as frustrated and no one to really tell in RL.
Been with DH 30 yrs. I'm early 50s. 4 dc. Mix of ages. All at home. School/uni.
DH very different to me. Much quieter. Not a talker. Good man overall I'd say. Works hard. Reliable. Bit of a telly addict
Not really much get up and go.
I plan all holidays etc which he enjoys but would never initiate.
I love doing planning stuff though so fine on that score.
I'm definitely perimenopausal.
Been on HRT approx 2 years as was getting really bad anxiety. No other symptoms. I feel to someway better.
Except I literally feel like most of the time I cannot bear DH. He is so annoying. His lack of conversation is getting to me now. We bicker a lot. I hold a grudge and don't speak for days as I can't be arsed. He used to be quite sweet in the past and fuss over me. Now he doesn't. Think he's sick of me too but would never care enough to say. And would certainly never leave.
He loves me I know that. But I think he's intolerant of me and my faults. I don't blame him, but at least speak to me. He is happy to live a kind of half a life whereby we rarely speak as long as things tick over.
We work opposite shifts which I think suits him. The days he does see me he doesn't seem excited to chat to me. It's a quick hello How's things etc.
Lots of things that I probably thought were mildly annoying or even funny now grate on me. His table manners are awful for example!
He hasn't really changed I guess, so is it me?
I think maybe it's hormonal, maybe I should increase my HRT(gel). Will I get backto normal again or is this normal now?
I dread to think of DC leaving and it's just him and me as he's hardly going to suddenly turn into a bundle of fun is he?
Hes not depressed, in case anyone thinks that?!
Am I depressed though
I spend so much headspace thinking about the Dc when they were little and wishing it was then. Now I feel a bit flat and low. I love being a mum.
I don't have a massive social life but do go out and I love meals out, drinks occasional nights away with friends. Only a dew close friends and 2 sisters as a little group and we are all similar personality wise.No one else would guess I feel sad inside. I'd be described as a ' good laugh'.
I have a very busy demanding job. I actually hate it ,but it's interesting and well paid so I won't ever leave.
I'm not sure what I'm asking here really. Anyone else felt similar?
No actual point in trying to talk to Dh as I've tried a million times.
He will either say:
"I'm fine"
Stop going on and creating problems"
Will say he's happy.
He hates being pinned down for a conversation.
I toy with trying to be nice and rising above it all.
Barely chatting and doing my own thing( he's happy with this) or being angry with him.
I think what probably upsets me the most, is he knows I'm not happy a lot of the time and he would rather me stay that way then enter into a discussion.
And has this man got no respect that his wife doesn't give a shit about him overall and he doesn't care?
Don't get me wrong we have good times and sometimes things are great. But I feel we have more times not speaking than times when we are.
Sorry for humongous post!!!!