Would give date a head’s up that it’s your time of the month?

Then again my view could be biased I waited untill marriage night 😅🤣

I wouldn't tell him. But that seems to be moving fast for Intercourse if that's what you two have planned 😬

But wouldn't it be sufficient to tell him in the moment? Why would he need several hours notice?

If you don't want to have sex with a man then obviously you don't have to give any reason at all for saying no.

But if, like the OP, you absolutely do want to have sex with him, but not today, then it's probably a good idea to let him know the truth, rather than giving him a strong message that you're not keen.

@Californiadaze did you let him know? How did he react?

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

Hush

Awwwww you’re just miffed because I didn’t fall for your ‘I’m sooooooo super busy having all the hot sex’ tale

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross awwww you're just miffed because your salad analogy made no sense

I'd still be up for sex, period or not! I'd let him know in case he's squeamish about that though

Ah - nice try with the ‘I’m just so passionate I can’t help myself’ argument 😂😂😂

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

Well, maybe that’s how sex happens in your relationship - booked in advance like tickets for a West End show.
Maybe you are just not very sexual but in my relationships after that many dates when it was obvious we were both hot and crazy for each other then we would both know we were anticipating having sex on a night we had discussed having a sleep over.

Maybe you don't operate like that. Maybe you haven't had that frisson in your relationships.

Well, maybe that’s how sex happens in your relationship - booked in advance like tickets for a West End show.

But one person having salad doesn't affect the other person. Your analogy is so unrelated it's weird you thought it was.

If two people both assume something is going to happen together then it is polite to give a heads up if it isn't. Why wouldn't you. Both people are likely to be really excited at the thought of being intimate for the first time. That's normal and nice. So why would you not give them a heads up. That doesn't mean the evening is not going to happen or be nice.

If I was really looking forward to seeing a West End show as part of a date and then part way through the date whilst chowing down on pizza the other person just dropped in that that the West End show part of the date wasn't going to happen, I'd feel it was super weird that they didn't give a heads up.

Wear a red camelia in your buttonhole.

Noooo, no. No, I wouldn't. He's a grown man, he presumably knows about periods? And at some stage, you're going to have one? I don't think that advance warning with a special text message is at all necessary, why would it be?

(Although of course the OP does not have to have sex if she does not wish to- no matter what the reason).

People have sex with their period don't they? I just lay down towels.

FWIW this was the situation with DH and I about the 2nd or so time and he was unphased. We did have a shower (together) afterwards though.

It's like if both people were assuming they were going out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then one person decided that they didn't want go but didn't give the other person a heads up. Just odd.

It’s absolutely nothing like this though, is it?

If you really want to pursue the analogy, I guess you could say that it’s like both people going out for dinner at a nice restaurant and assuming they’re going to have steak and then one person deciding that they only want salad instead. They’re both at the restaurant and still enjoying each other’s company, the evening is just not proceeding exactly as anticipated. Should the person who opted for salad have texted the other one that morning to say they didn’t fancy ordering steak after all? Is that what you do when you go to a nice restaurant with someone? Message them with your choices in advance?

OP does want to have sex and was planning to until she came on her period.

They were both expecting sex and it’s only right to give the other person a heads up.

I would say the same if he had just found out he can’t have sex for a week and knew that OP was staying over with the expectation of sex.

Would you rather OP went over there and then he only mentioned it just before they were about to start?

I would have assumed that as a sleepover was planned, then sex was also an expectation, from both sides.

Are you at a point where you could send him something like "Was hoping to take our relationship to the next level tonight, but I've got my period. Is that ok?"

If he pushes to rearrange, you can have further convo about whether it's because he thought you wanted to (plenty of women don't want to do anything at that time of the month) or because he didn't think it would be worth it. If he asks if you still want to come, because he still wants to see you, but recognises you might now not be in the mood, then again, you can assess.

I guess if both parties have been building towards sex and both parties were assuming there was going to be sex on the cards the. It would just be good manners to let the other person know ahead of time. Why would you let someone continue assuming something once you knew it wasn't going to happen?

It's like if both people were assuming they were going out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then one person decided that they didn't want go but didn't give the other person a heads up. Just odd.

Yes. I have done similar in the past with a "typical, period came this morning" with an emoji.
Their responses tell me everything I need to know.

I'd just take a menstrual sponge with me and, if I felt like it, have sex with him.

What did he say?

Fuck no, why should I have to notify a man in advance with justifications for why I don't want to have sex?