And this
I also have trust issues which is a large part of this, I’m always asking him question about how he feels about me and need reassurance. Finally he says that when he wants to talk about his feelings, I turn it around on me and only talk about myself. I always just think I’m being empathetic or agreeing with him. Either that or I interrupt him, which I’m trying hard to stop doing.
OK, OP. I have some personal experience of this.
Firstly, I was told that sharing a personal experience of similar/sharing how you dealt with a situation etc was a good way of demonstrating empathy. And it can be. However, in recent years, though, I've read a lot about not doing this and posts on FB which essentially say, "Let's normalise not sharing our own story to show that we empathise."
Which is very confusing!
What it really means is that when someone is telling you something about themselves or sharing their own story, it's important to give them the space to tell it and share before you say anything. Then talk about them and how they are feeling (if they want to) rather than bringing your own experiences into it at all.
Sometimes, when you're struggling with your own mental health what happens is that someone says something which triggers your own brain to start processing your own issues (whatever they may be) and whilst it feels to you like you are empathising, what you are actually doing is trauma dumping your own stuff without realising.
I say this because a) I've done it and b) I've had people do it to me so I know what it feels like to be on both sides. I felt I was empathising but I wasn't really. I'd been 'triggered' (hate that expression! 😅) and my amygdala had taken over so I was no longer able to consider the other person and I was just reliving my own shit. Even though I felt like I was empathising. I wasn't. It took someone pulling me up on it to realise I was doing it.
If you are still dealing with your own MH issues, there's a chance you are doing similar.
Imagine if every time you tried to talk to someone about how you were feeling, they took over talking about themselves and how they felt. You wouldn't felt heard or understood and you would feel shut down and frustrated. That wouldn't make you feel close to them.
Constantly seeking reassurances etc because you don't trust someone is pushing them away. You might feel that the reassurances make you feel closer to them but, again, imagine how it looks from the other side.
Your relationship becomes less about what you do together, having fun, building a shared life together and more about the other person reassuring you that they want to be with you to do all those things but without actually having the opportunity to do them because the relationship has become about The Relationship. It pushes people away.
Constantly asking someone creates the distance you fear.
I've had experience of someone doing this to me and, tbh, it's what killed the relationship. The constant need for reasirance, constant scrutiny of everything I did and analysing what it meant and feeling berated and not able to be myself was just too much in the end. I stopped feeling like we were in a relationship together and began to feel like my only function was being 'his girlfriend' and it all (and only) became about how he was feeling.
So, unfortunately, yes, your behaviour will he making him feel less close to you.