To kick him out 3 days after he moved in!?

Send him back to mummy for your own sanity. If he's living off capital rather than an income generated from the capital, he lacks financial acuity too. Maybe take things a bit slower in future.

Could you have done things differently? Maybe. But he probably would have said and done all the right things while he stayed at yours and still only shown his true colours when you moved in together and he had his feet under the table. You've found out early on that it was the wrong decision, so act on that and get rid of him from your home.

Is this a sign of things to come?
Yes, so much yes that there is not enough yes to express it.

Any advice please
Move him out. Never ever, ever have children with him.

Everyone makes mistakes, it's good you can move on before he gets too embedded on your house and harder to shift.

I’d also feel really uncomfortable with him being almost as close to your daughter’s age of 16 as to your age…

100% - a grown man entering into a live in relationship with a women who has kids surely the sensible adult (and decent) thing to do would be to use that money to invest for their shared future rather than pissing it up the wall living like a jobless party boy.

Wow…

@YourRubyBee what’s the legal situation?

You have not acted like a good parent.
There is no kind way of saying that unfortunately.

You need to ask him to leave today.

It’s different if he had no where else to go but he can just go back to his parents.

He has inheritance which is currently using to support himself/pay his half of things here

I’d worry too about a 26 year old ‘living off inheritance’. Surely he should using that money as a house deposit or setting up a business or something. It shows a very unambitious mind set & not somebody thinking about his future.

Instead maybe sunbeds, pub & his mates.

Have never used mumsnet before, but what a horrible place it can be

@YourRubyBee unfortunately you posted in AIBU which is infamous for its pile-ons being an area where posters don't hold back. If you had posted in the Relationships section posters may have been gentler. But MN is rather straight-talking compared to NetMums (AKA Net Huns as you'll apparently get told "Aww, it'll be OK, hun xxxx" there😁)

You're doing the right thing by moving him back out, particularly since you have two teenage girls to think of!

Don't take some of the comments here to heart. People pull 'facts' out of their arses sometimes and accuse you of doing things you never even mentioned!

I've been guilty of that myself sometimes tbh. Completely misleading something and thinking someone's doing something they've never so much as hinted at.

You do not need to defend yourself against invented scenarios. Don't waste energy on them.

You've realised you made the wrong decision moving him in and you're going to rectify it by having him move back out. That's a good thing. Focus on that and don't waste your time on irrelevancies.

The OP nowhere says he is 'independently wealthy', or has an inheritance of any size. She says he's 'from a well-off household', which could mean anything, depending on the OP's own idea of relative wealth and poverty. I think she means his parents are comfortable enough to not require him to pay rent or contribute to bills, which enables a 26 year old to laze about, not work and focus on the gym and going on sunbeds.

I would be very surprised if an independently wealthy 26 year old was living with his parents in a house that was small enough to mean that he lurked upstairs in bed with his girlfriend watching TV because his parents were downstairs (presumably occupying the main living room). Or that it would be an appealing prospect for a rich 26 year old to move in with his girlfriend and her teenagers and sleep on an airbed.

I fail to see the connection she makes between him coming from a well-off household and being expected to do nothing around the house, though.

The more I write the more I'm seeing sense but tbh his priorities seem to be the gym, sunbeds, pub with his friends and sleeping most days recently.

Where did you think his priorities lay before this though, he hasn’t suddenly been this way. Even if he comes from wealth you would have known whether he was living purposefully or behaving like a teenager.

Well, I hope you find a way to backtrack this. But it seems he's showing you who he is.

God I thought you were both 20-21 just left home until I read the part about kids.

There is plenty of kindness on Mumsnet, but when it's required there is also plenty of tough love and calling a spade a spade.

If everyone had kindly said 'aww hun it'll be alright', you may not have started to see clearly so quickly.

What do you think you need to do ??? Kick him out immediately !!

Covid is doing the rounds again, I know lots of people down with it at the moment. It is possible he brought it back souvenir. I think you should have a sit down talk with him when the kids are in bed and tell him your doubts. How he reacts will probably tell you all you need to know.

Get rid. He sounds like a child.

OP do you think he is ill? My view would depend on that, if he's ill give him a few days, if he's just bone idle well you know what you need to do.

Good luck.

I don't understand some of the replies on here, he is independently wealthy, OP doesn't say whether it's a small inheritance or a massive inheritance, but either way he's choosing to live without going to work currently, he has a self employed trade and can make money when he needs to.

Why does he need to 'have a job' to be worthy of op, would you be calling SAHM lazy cocklodgers too because they choose not to work? or people that have won the lottery?

I think there are too many variables here for anyone to have a complete picture.