To kick him out 3 days after he moved in!?

Or she decided not to come back because some posters have been utter cunts at her.

The lack of response from the OP @YourRubyBee is telling. The boyfriend is probably still there in her bedroom hiding from the light.

There's times that context and support from various portals helps. But on the whole it's best to view the whole picture. This woman put her desire for a boyfriend ahead of her kids home environment. Shame on you, OP

What would I do? I would ask him to move out and say this isn't working and having him lying around in bed all day is irritating and not what you need. Certainly stop bringing him food. If he is well enough to go out with his friends he can get his own food.

The not working thing would also turn me off him even if he has rich parents. Maybe they are glad to be shot of him.

He may well be genuinely ill, but he's 26 going on 16. A lot of 26 year old lads are still kids. He has zero clue about responsibility and frankly I find it really weird he's decided to move in. I imagine he's not really understanding your expectations that he becomes part of the family and the work that goes with it. Also, who's ever heard of an unemployed tradesman. Its not really a job is it, sounds like a hobby.

Good lord...,BIN HIM.

I think if OP didn’t realise that she had made a mistake she wouldn’t of been on here asking for advice… some responses on here are totally undeserved :(

OP… you may of gone about things the wrong way here, but as a human we all make mistakes…..
only you will know. you know him where as we don’t…

From an outsiders point of view it does sound like he is taking the mick. If you were a friend telling me this I would be really angry for you….
if he’s moved in with you he should be helping you and supporting you not just lounging around expecting you to do everything and look after him…
unless he really is is genuinely sick at the moment and this behaviour is completely unexpected?

I hope your ok and either way you resolve this for you and your girls :)

Have your children spent much time with him before he moved in? He shouldn't have moved in without a job to pay his way. Hes not a great role model for your children is this what you want them to think is normal?

no one stays in bed for 4 days because of a sore throat he needs to man up. Tell him he should go back to his mums until he can make positive and financial contributions.

What is he, a sloth? You already know the answer....get him out and move on.

Aww OP, sorry you got piled on. Sounds like you have been ‘dick-notized’ and are waking up from your trance. You know what to do! X

I think this comment definitely says more about you than the op or the guy. Gross.

Sadly, a 26 year old man moving in with a 34 mother of two teenage girls could indeed brag.
It is hardly the norm.
The preoccupation so many young men have with porn would make me very suspicious of any young man in this situation, most particularly the class of lazy, unemployed loser the OP has found herself stuck with.
I so hope she is still reading and has gotten him out.

I don't think many other posters were thinking that at all. What you said was disgusting, and I have reported it.

Don’t let anyone on here get to you, OP. Take the advice that serves you and leave the anonymous personal attacks on the internet where they belong. Good luck resolving things 👍

Wow you are sick in the head.

It sounds like you don't work. Do the council know he lives there?

Sit down and have a talk with him

I was thinking it could be covid! But the the poster said he still managed ro enjoy the holiday so not sure

You need to postpone the living together, more the him living with you and continuing to act like the child he is at his parents. I'm sure many of us have been on the same type of bender but don't spend the next few days in bed, unless a teenager maybe and even then I would've been told to get up and at it.

@YourRubyBee I haven't read every single reply so apologies if I'm repeating. Some commentators on mumsnet can be ruthless. Chuck him out, he's useless, etc... Did you talk to him? I'd be really interested to hear his defence.
The fact that he's 26 shouldn't affect the relationship. He should be behaving more maturely (do his part of jobs, and he should be working!). Either way, good luck. It's good that he can just move out without negative impact to you or the girls.

Don't beat yourself up OP. It's such hard work being a single mum it's really easy to be taken in. It absolutely broke my heart when I realised my exH was also one of these. He love bombed me at the beginning and I was so happy. I waited 2 full years to marry him during which he was perfect partner then it all went horribly downhill from the very day of my marriage to him.
During our marriage I was totally invisible to him unless he wanted something.

OP I had COVID last week and although I only had a sore throat and headache, I was so fatigued I could barely function. Like sleep for 12 hours, nap while baby did and still be yawning at the dinner table.

Give him a week and see if he’s lazy or ill.

I would be very unsure about financially taking care of a man when I had children though.

I used to work with a woman who moved a man in then realised he was awful to live with and moved him out and split up within a week.

That was nearly 20 years ago and I'm still impressed with her.

Kick him out. Honestly, why on earth would you put up with this? What sort of example are you setting for your children?

Trust me these are red flags and will not improve unless you tell him that his previous lifestyle is over if he lives with you. Living together is a partnership pulling together with things like cooking childcare maintenance and sadly chores unless you want to live in a pigsty. Laziness is not acceptable and if you don’t want to spend your life living with a non contributor you have to tell him he probably thinks he is acting normally. Reality shape up or ship out. NEXT

I think you were just blindsided by a unless idiot!! You don't really know someone until you move in with them or an expectation has been requested. The set up you had before really suited your situation, now it's time to move things along and he just isn't that committed. Absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing, you've learned a lesson in some strange way.
Your girls are teenagers, they're not babies. An you're clearly allowed a life outside of being a parent. And from what you've said, they have a father.
They're hardly bloody traumatized.

Take the shitty comments with a pinch of salt as they're just judgy and "perfect" parents, obviously they've NEEEEEVVVVER made risky choices (insert massive eye roll)..

Good luck with the chat!!

This entire situation and your choices are such a horrendous example for your teenage girls that it's actually fucking crazy.