Ex appears to have ghosted me, I'm devastated

I'm waiting for the "Vote Reform to stop this sort of thing" punchline.

But I know that's being unfair to the OP. It's just shit timing that this thread has popped up in the middle of a bot invasion MNHQ haven't been able to control.

Do you know if he’s okay and safe OP, maybe something is stopping him texting.
If he is fine then yes I think he has definitely decided to end it once and for all time now for you to move on.

So the obvious conclusion is that he is cruel. That is the answer.

You have a really hard time accepting reality.

He sounds awful. Make an absolute clear break, focus on yourself and getting yourself in a good robust place and move forwards to stop yourself getting in this situation again. He is not worth a second more of your feelings or life.

8 months.

You’re having a pity party because your controlling, abusive ex has left you alone at last.

Step away. Have a look.

He is cruel he has shown you in multiple ways he is cruel and does not care for you.

Maybe but is it accurate. He will have picked up on your desperation to stay in touch and can't be bothered to explain to you.

OP, stop trying to understand it. The confusion you're feeling is intentional. He wants you to question what's going on. You will never understand it because there's no sense to it.

It seems like you're hoping by staying in touch you'll become a 'better' person and the one he wants to be with forever. This isn't just a case of you two not being compatible, which is a hard thing to come to terms with. It's a case of him being an absolute prick to you. Incompatible people can still be kind, respectful, and humane to their partner. He just sounds nasty. Undoubtedly he'll do this to the next victim woman.

Because he can probably tell you were changing your mind and by ghosting you he will make you want him more….its working too.

It was 8 months ago that you broke up, someone needs to tell you it bluntly before you waste your most important years crying over this dick

I do understand that, @Canttakemuchmoreofthis1 - but moving on and healing is not going to start until you let go of the desire to be in touch, to have your questions answered etc.

You can’t get the car moving until you take the handbrake off. He is the handbrake.

OP - you do seem to be ignoring all the many, many posters who are giving you some home truths about your ex’s treatment of you and focussing only on those who are feeding your ‘I was a terrible person who just wanted to try and get him back but now he’s cut me off’ narrative.

Do you think there’s a chance that you have co-dependency issues?

Move on

Life is too short

The world out there waits

I’m speaking for all of us on here when I say

MOVE ON! GET A GRIP OP!

You are going round in circles here, why even post on mumsnet?

This is ridiculous. You broke up 8 months ago and tried to make things work again, he didn’t want too, blocked you and is now doing the right thing and moving on.

At 34, you ought to too.

Be he doesn't want to and you're not in charge of him..

And you’re still trying to work it out.

Cruel or not it’s done.

LET. IT. GO.

Keep repeating the same question over and over again using going up change anything.

No one but him can answer the question and for whatever reason he’s decided he’s got no interest in communicating with you any more. Most likely scenario is he’s met someone else .
Stop wasting head space trying to understand a man who treated you like shit anyway

@Canttakemuchmoreofthis1 - I think you are going to have to come to terms with not knowing, not getting answers to these questions. It is hard, I know - but you can survive this, move on and thrive. You just need to keep going in the right direction and not looking back.

As I’ve said before - you would want the best for your friend/sister/daughter - why don’t you deserve the best too?

Of course it's painful, up until this point there was the possibility that you'd get back together and now it feels gone alltogether. Probably also you are grieving the loss of a friendship. I am friends still with an ex from 15 years ago and I'd be upset if he ghosted me.

But still, you left for the right reasons and the possibility of getting back together is probably stopping you from moving on. Don't chase after someone who treats you like shit.

He isn't an airline. He doesn't have to announce his departure. He doesn't owe you anything.

Perhaps he met someone and can't be arsed with the fall out from you.

I had an ex exactly like you described yours. Critical, food snob, wanted me to be things I'm not, told every one my business, always compared me to other people and things.

He was also lovely most of the time but it was death by a thousand paper cuts. The little bits that weren't nice had more of an impact on my life than the hundreds of thousands of nice bits.

Exes are exes for a reason.

He wouldn't have changed.

Ghosting you was probably also done to exert some control over you although really it's for the best and you should uphold the boundary and not talk to him if he comes back.