Ex appears to have ghosted me, I'm devastated

I get you. I like to stay friendly with my exes, where possible. I'd be a bit upset if they started blanking me.

But that said, it's their right to do that. And it's not a reflection on you as a person.

It sounds like maybe a part of you is still addicted to their approval, especially if it was very sporadic during the relationship. But please don't take it as a rejection or a comment on your character. It's just not always possible to become friends after a breakup.

Dust yourself off and concentrate on the future. It's ok to feel sad but stay hopeful.

Staying friends postpones the grieving process, so you're feeling that delayed onset now.

But as much as you felt he was the one, his personality (the critical undermining side to him) isn't going to change and he wasn't going to become someone on whom you could rely for commitment either. So although the chemistry was obviously there, and it sounds like you are well ready to settle down... It wasn't him really.

It hurts. But in time you'll be glad you didn't tie yourself to him for life, time has a way of making those negative things matter in the end.

If your daughter/sister/friend said their partner was mocking their appearance, hiding food, berating them for credit card debt, refusing to commit, vanishing out without telling them, criticising their choice of reading matter - would you encourage them to stay in that relationship, @Canttakemuchmoreofthis1?

I would be very surprised I you would encourage someone you loved to stay in an abusive relationship - so why don’t you deserve the same consideration? You deserve so much better than this sort of treatment, and you need to love yourself enough to believe that you deserve better.

I understand why you are hurting now - you are mourning the future you thought you had - but from what you have said here, you wouldn’t have got the future you want with this man, and his treatment of you would only have got worse, so this is the best thing in the long run, even if it doesn’t feel that way now.

Sending you a hug.

Break ups are the pits, they really are. But they happen for a reason... please face forward and not back. I think he needs to be part of your past because a lot of what you have said about his behaviour is disgraceful. There is something much better for you around the corner and frankly the fact that you have had a crush is good because somewhere deep down you are starting to feel that there is a different future for you. Don't be set back because the crush didn't materialise into anything, instead be happy that you are able to have feelings for someone new. Honestly, try to look at this whole situation objectively... all the signs are telling you that moving on was the right decision, just give yourself a break, be single for a while and see what the world might have in store for you.

So he was controlling and abusive....even if you don't see it ...you dumped him now your upset he got annoyed at you doing the controlling of the relationship and is reeling you in by ghosting ....wow.

Which bit of his piss-taking do you miss?

I have told him very clearly I wanted to sort things out. The man wouldn't offer me any commitment at 34.

And nothing's changed. You are still not "his one" and he has probably met someone else. You can only 'move on' too.

He sounds awful. One day you will probably realise you have had a lucky break.

So he was also calling you names?

He's probably met someone else OP, he'll pursue her then come back to you if it goes wrong. He doesn't sound like he has any respect for you, he doesn't see your worth.

Be kind to yourself and move on.

Nothing you have said about him sounds nice. You made the right decision leaving him.

You are right that you’re not his ‘one’.

You aren't a bitch but you feel bad because instead of breaking up and getting over him you've been dragging out the break up and now have to feel it all over again. Break ups hurt. Time to stop pissing about being 'friends' and accept it's over.

This is the luckiest thing to have happened to you.

You ended it for many good reasons, he sounds appalling, but clearly you were a whisper away from being reeled back in.

Lucky escape.

With time you will move on and realise you can do so much better than him. Hiding food ffs.

It’s natural to feel like this after a break up even if you were the one to end things. Even after ending a relationship with a verbally abusive boyfriend it still took me time to get over the hurt and also adjust to being single again.

But you need to take a deep breath and realise that you dodged a bullet. Yes you had good times together, but the reality is he wasn’t your person and had a lot of bad traits. It’s time to pull up your big girl pants, hold your head high and move on.

By breaking up with him you should have just left it as that, you’ve made it more complicated trying to be friends and giving him mixed signals. Move on, get rid of him off any social media’s whatapp etc and remember you deserve more.

You ended it for the right reasons! It was never going to work

He wasn't lovely. And that kind of halfway bollocks after a break up never works and has to end one way or another. Hopefully he's met someone else and that's why he's ghosted you so you can move on.

You liked him hanging on a string and now he's cut it and found someone else.

I know you didn’t. You left for right reasons. Sorry I sent my first post too early but added another post about the fact you deserve better and he doesn’t sound like a catch.

He hid the sauces so YOU had to make it from scratch?! Wtaf! If he likes things made from scratch then he could do it himself. He sounds like a total wanker weirdo