Ex appears to have ghosted me, I'm devastated

Exactly.

Stop romanticising hook. He sounds like a complete prick. You are better off with out this type of arsehole in your life. You have had a lucky escape.

Of course he has met someone else. That’s by far the most obvious explanation as to why he has moved on. And as a single man whose partner dumped him, he is perfectly entitled to do so.

Sounds like he's done the right thing. Because you can't move on he's done it for both of you.

She doesn't understand why he's ghosted her. He's probably found someone else and that's why he's ghosted her. That's my point.

There is no one ffs

Maybe he saw the 5 hours as an ending? He didn’t need to continue with the contact. Maybe he could have told you or he didn’t for his own sanity. I think it’s best not to have regular contact with an ex.

No one us saying that you are awful—its interesting that that’s your go to, though. What we are all saying is that you are somewhat confused about how relationships work.

Your relationship didn’t break down because of lack of effort on your part. Or because you failed to do something. Or even because you left him. If a man wants to be in a relationship with you he will ACT LIKE IT. He will try to please you, try to keep you interested, try to pursue you and bring you back if you try to leave.

You asked him for more commitment and he refused. You left and offered to come back and he refused.

He’s just not that into you. There is no more juice to be sucked out of this dried lemon of a relationship. No amount of talking about it or rehashing it will bring him back. Or, if he comes back and you are foolish enough to take him back, he will still treat you like shit.

You loved him but he didn’t love you.

Sorry you are hurting OP but sometimes the person who leaves feels worse than the person who left.
You have said you are not his one. That should be enough now. Whether you are or not, his treatment of you has been appalling. How you can think he’s your one under the circumstances….
You did the right thing in leaving. Often when we do this, we panic. We wipe out the bad things and try and hang on to something and someone which isn’t genuine.
It will get better in time and you will get better. But while you keep hanging on to some sort of contact with this man, you will further erode your self esteem.
You deserve better. Even if he was the loveliest man on earth, he doesn’t want to spend his life with you.
Take some time yourself.
And then find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

Do you happen to have a link to this other thread? If you can find it, please share.

Your point being? OP dumped him

I'd bet my house on him shagging someone else now.

There was never going to be any 'working things out' because he didn't want a committed relationship with you, and he still doesn't now. Move on.

So you did the right thing - why are you trying to hold onto someone who doesn't want you?

Tbh if you didn’t have kids together and no other ties in terms of finances and houses etc to sort then I think it’s completely for the best to cut all ties and have no contact. It’s the only way to get a clean break and move on, perhaps he’s realised this.

I am sorry, you thought you didn't feel you were "his" one and you were right. You were not "his" one, the "one for him", as well as he wasn't the "one for you". Nothing for you to sort out here. He didn't offer you the commitment you wanted, and you left. Good for you! He kept talking to you for a while, now he decided to stop talking to you. Again, nothing to sort out, he moved on now, you should do the same. You are only 34, there are lots of people you will meet, and surely there will be someone who can actually fully commit to you. But you won't meet that person if you keep thinking about him, so, in a way, he did you a favour.

He hid the shop bought sauce and then you made homecooked instead? Honestly, at that point you should have poured whatever sauce you had in the house over his head and told him to get out.

I'm glad he's ghosted you OP. Not in a nasty way but in a way that you can be rid of tge looser and move on.

He sounds horrible OP and you're much better off without him. Don't worry about being 34 - you're a baby - you've got loads of your life ahead of you.

Better to have someone who commits and loves and respects you at 50, than someone who will just drag you down and be a constant stress at 34.

He's ghosted you because he's probably met someone else and tbh he's done you a favour. Move on!

If I am going to be brutally honest here (and I apologise if this is blunt), I think he has probably already checked out of the relationship so that you would finish things because he was too much of a coward to do so. He then met up to see if he had made the wrong decision but realised he hadn’t, so he has now moved on.

I’m sorry. It’s awful when you still have feelings for someone and they aren’t reciprocated.

Nobody like# being ghosted, even by an ex. It’s not a nice thing to happen to anyone, so I understand that it must sting.

But, looking at the situation objectively, it’s pretty clear what has happened. You dumped him, for what sound like perfectly reasonable reasons. Now, he has moved on, and in all probability met someone else. That’s not unreasonable and it’s what happens when long term relationships end.

He has moved on. Now you need to accept that and do likewise. Good luck.

OP, no one has said you're awful (as far as I can see?)
Everyone agrees that he's a cunt. You trusted your instincts and did the right thing!

you're not being unreasonable to feel the way you do, but it's not a good sign either. I would have felt like you a few years back but honestly i cannot believe i wasted so much time pining over people who didn't want me and undeserving men. I don't know if it's an age thing or an esteem thing, but the way i feel now I don't think i'd allow anyone to break my heart like this again as i would just think it was not meant to be and move on. i know that doesn't help you now, but the only thing you can do is give it time and like others have said work on yourself and building up some independence so you are not so dependent on a man in the future and only consider being with someone who lifts you up.

@Canttakemuchmoreofthis1 has anyone here said you are awful?
I've skimmed some of the messages but the vast, vast majority have all said you did the right thing and need to move on now.
You don't seem to be hearing that.

@Canttakemuchmoreofthis1

it hurts, I get that!

But honestly read your ownposts. He didn't want you back. You aren't his 'one'...

sorry if this seems brutal, but stop wasting your time on a man who has made it crystal clear he doesn't want to be with you.