Ex appears to have ghosted me, I'm devastated

Please work on your self esteem . He sounds awful and you deserve so much better x

Why resurrect this thread half a year later?

I’ve just been through a very similar situation.
The sudden ghosting part from Dec is horrendous.
At the break up stage in October I found reading ‘Attached’ very helpful, in why I ended things due to his behaviour even though I adored him.
Friendly chats for a few months and then, nothing.
it hurts.
it really, really hurts.
and is very rude and fairly childish.
avoidant!

What a complete knob he is. You deserve so much better.

Take control back and don’t message him ever again.

He’s clearly awful and playing around with your feelings……. Block, delete, move on.

You don't sound as if you are 34. Everyone is telling you to draw a line under it and let this one go but you are like a dog with a bone. If I was advising a friend in this scenario I'd tell them to get a grip and cut off contact for good, work on themselves emotionally so if affordable look at some counselling sessions. You have incredibly low standards, he doesn't want the future you do and even his parents have told him that he was "mean' to you yet you still want to work it out. Why is it that you'd rather be with this guy than single for a while or going on dates trying to find someone better suited?

Ultimately you'll do what you want but I think you are making poor choices.

The OP is clearly going to waste years and years while this guy messes her around. A shame.

You did the right thing leaving him trust me. You should never put up with manipulative behaviour or nasty comments about your appearance. Move on, you deserve much better

It’s been 8 months and everytime you’ve mentioned reconciliation he has turned you down. I’d say it’s safe to say that he has no intention of being back in a relationship with you, and chatting to you is a “as and when” he isn’t busy and can fit it into his day. Honestly, I think you should be prepared for the very real possibility that he is dating, or even if he isn’t that he WILL start dating again. How would you feel if you found that out? A clean break would honestly be best for you, as after 8 months broken up you should feel less attached than you do right now and that’s because you’re hanging on to something that isn’t there anymore.

I think you’re experiencing something really normal but you shouldn’t second guess yourself, you did the right thing. It’s normal to almost crystallise people after a break up and really remember all the good bits and wonder if it was the right thing. If you were to have a second go it might go well at first but given time all of the same issues would crop up. Your gut was telling you something wasn’t right and it sounds like you didn’t feel like you were loved enough and special to him. Yes you probably did have great times too but that doesn’t make up for it or mean that it was the wrong decision. If you meet someone who is crazy about you then you’ll realise that something was missing and you deserved a more enthusiastic love. He also sounds immature and if you’re looking to have a more a serious commitment or maybe kids I think you dodged a bullet. He sounds controlling. The hiding of the sauce is very immature.

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way OP but you need to let him go and be by yourself for some time and learn about self love. You don’t need a partner in your life to complete you. It sounds like you put some boundaries in place and he didn’t treat you like a decent human being. Going out all night and not telling you. There’s so many red flags here and the more you try and go back into a relationship with him the worse he will treat you as he’ll realise he can treat you with utter disrespect and get away with it. Please reach out to WomensAid or similar to help you recover from his abuse. Sending my thoughts your way.

So why oh why do you want him back?

You are well rid.
Are you maybe just lonely, or bored and romanticising this relationship?

Narcissist

Why are people still posting on this?! The OP hasn't been back for days!

You are well out of that coersive relationship.

Honestly it sounds like you therapy. I don't say that to be mean but your messages throughout this thread are all over the place and you don't seem to know what you actually want at all.

Honestly, you need to move on.
It is evident from your original post that you have low self esteem, to the extent that you seem to be doubting your own instinct. You are trying to convince yourself that these huge red flags don’t matter.
I know it hurts now, but honestly you will look back and be so grateful you never went back there. You can’t honestly see yourself with this man in 10 years time - leaving you alone with the kids and not even telling you where he is going, playing dirty tricks on you, putting you down with his snide comments.
You will find sometime better. Do it now before you waste any more of your valuable life on this man x

Also why do you keep repeating yourself and justifying yourself. No one knows you, no one is judging. Move on

He sounds like a cxxt, hopefully you will be able to see this clearly someday soon. You deserve better, hes a horrible person from how you have described him

Your messages (I read them all) pretty much say the same thing. Maybe you need to branch out and find yourself. You have said nothing about him that sounds like a wonderful person to spend your life with and he’s clearly not committed. Travel, make new friends, get a dog (or cat), get hobbies, go to the gym. You need to do things to value yourself. You may need to heal your inner child that results in you going for someone totally unsuitable and not nice. Value yourself.

God he sounds like a child. What did you like about him. As I didn’t read anything to recommend him.

So why would you even want to try and work it out??? He sounds horrid and I would be happy if he ghosted me so that I could move on.

I don't know why you keep bopping back and forth on this.

You dumped him, which on your description seems to be the best thing you could have done. He doesn't want to be with you long-term and he was horrible while you were together!

It's easy to look back with rose tinted glasses when you're sad a relationship has ended - but seriously? You "don't know why he'd be so cruel to ghost you"? Why was he so cruel to laugh at your hair cut? Why was he so cruel to ruin a jar of sauce to force you to cook for him?

Maybe he's a nice man to someone, but that someone is not you. Stop moping over what might have been and acknowledge that you miss what might have been if he was nice to you.

I would have ghosted to. I had an ex who broke up with me and called me annoying, never replied now he won't stop ringing me every now and then. Nothing to say tbh