Thoughtless gifts AIBU

If buying a gift card for someone. Make sure 1. There's a shop nearby 2. If tech savvy, a website for able to use GCs on and 3. The shop(s) sells stuff they like.

Had 1 and 3 apply to me many times. Mid 90s, I got a gift voucher for H&M. Heard of them as in teen mags and think where is the nearest one to me. Found out it was 80 miles away. About 18 months later, there was one that opened in the city. From what I remember was my parents and I were going on holiday and flying from an airport about 100 miles away and visited H&M en route to hotel as had a 5am flight the following morning.

As my birthday is in January - got loads of book tokens as a kid for both Christmas and B'day. I loved books as a kid - thanks to GCSE English, my love for books has been killed off. It took me all year to spend the tokens.

Your brothers reply made me choke on my coffee! Wonderful 🤣🤣

A bottle of wine always gets used or re gifted.

I like plants but not flowers. Flowers are basically dead/dying.

We don't do presents at all now but one close relative would buy "bargains" all year then give a present to someone whether it would be something they would like/use or not.

I got some weird/awful ones in the past, thank goodness we don't do it any more.

I'm one of those people who probably exacerbates this behaviour because I will slap on a smile and be grateful for even the most ridiculous present. I just like getting presents. Even the furry, sparkly baseball cap my Auntie got me (she is notorious for utterly bizarre Christmas gifts in my family)

Sometimes I wish I could be more like my big brother, who Auntie still doesn't buy any gifts for at all after he responded to her "it's the thought that counts" with "were you thinking of me or Jeffrey Dahmer when you bought this shirt?" 🤷‍♀️

My family don't do Christmas presents. Just spend on our birthdays.

I get death stares from people when I say the above.

Talking of thoughtless gifts. I remember many years ago, a woman came through my till with about 40-45 tubs of Roses and she said "oh that's my Christmas shopping done". Glad not related to her as she would give every person a tub of Roses. So if you live in a family of 5 - 5 tubs!

Another pointless gift I got frequently as a teen - those make up sets with about 80 different colours of eyeshadow. Didn't wear much make up then - can't now due to eye condition.

I think I'd like a black hole rug, though...

I can cope with random unsuitable gifts, I just give them to the next village tombola. But when I was a teen or pre-teen I stopped eating meat, and bugger me if certain family members didn't start getting me presents made of leather or pigskin from then on - they'd never done it before. I mean - these things can't have been cheap, and they weren't rich. Passive aggressive buying I guess, but why?

I used to get really angry, and now I just smile and put it all in a bag for the charity shop. It’s not worth the energy.

I used to think it was a big deal but who can afford this waste right now? The buying, wrapping and postage all add up. Plus it's no good for the planet.

We've knocked it all on the head by saying first of all only presents for DC, and now DC have grown up, no presents at all because of the unreliable post. And if we see one another in person, we have a no gifts policy because the travelling to meet one another is costly and eating together is now "the present" and everyone contributes to that with a bottle of wine, a Christmas pud, a box of fancy crackers etc.

Just knock it all on the head and do away with all of the associated stress.

Edited to say: just read your update about trying to tell them not to bother op. Suggest you are a bit more emphatic about it. Send them an e-mail about Christmas now. And another one in September or October. And follow them up with a phone call in late November. They will be disappointed the first year but they will get used to it. Especially if you say something like we are all making food contributions instead, which of this list would you like to buy? It's like dog training, don't just say no, tell them what to do instead and divert them in to a different pattern of behaviour! 😆

My MIL bought us a novelty rug that looks like a black hole. It's huge and I hate it. She seemed very disappointed that we didn't have it down in the living room for our son to "enjoy".

Aww that made me giggle. That was my late MIL to a tee. DH even had a cycling gift when no bike!
They were never expensive items so we just received them with good grace and had a laugh. The DC looked forward to how bizarre they would actually be.
Only time we were disappointed was when DH's present, put under the Christmas tree for him 1 week before, turned out to be a tin with different cheeses in. Totally inedible of course and that was something we might actually have enjoyed!

I dont mind receiving generic things that are basically classed as not very personal or individual, but fall int he category of things that most people would like, even if they are a bit bland or uniform - like flowers, chocolates, a nice bottle of booze, scented candle etc. But specifically awful things that clearly have no chance of being used or appreciated are pointless - and make you think, is that actually the point of this gift? What are they actually trying to say?

I think you have to just smile, say thank you, and take it to the charity shop. If you’ve already told them, there’s not much you can do.

I agonise every year over what to get my family for birthdays and Christmas. They don’t come up with any ideas themselves. It usually ends up with a voucher.

We get presents from long distance relations every Christmas. My ex always gets jumper's that don't fit. Our sons get chocolate and socks. I get smellies that I never use. It all goes to the charity shop. Btw they send my exes Christmas present to us as they can't be bothered posting to his new address 🤣🤣🤣🤣 so yes it's a waste of time and money

I reckon they get a "deal" so the cycling jumper was marked down "such good value" surely Itsrainingten DH would love it! We tend to just buy immediate famlly presents TBH. Most people in UK/Western world are the least likely to need anything at all! Just say "hey guys ,what with all the waste generated. maybe we could just say Happy Birthday, with a nice card and a hug this year?Christmas just do a Secret Santa or £10 per present pp max.They seem fairly clueless so may be relieved!

I prefer to buy consumables like chocolate or a book. I hate being given stuff I don’t want, it feels so wasteful. If they’d given me the money I could have had something I want!

Ikwym my mum insists on sending me flowers. I hate cut flowers and have told her this countless times. I'm really easy to buy for - thorntons or something from lush.... mega easy, doesn't take much thought and its pretty much all I say but always a bunch of flowers delivered. 🙄 (if she even bothers which sometimes she doesn't! At least the kids get cash!)

It is a big deal. The OPs family have shown her that they don't care about her or respect her wishes, by giving her a job to do and the guilt about the waste and not liking the gifts.

Many people would rather have nothing than any old crap like what's been bought here.

Pass these things on to someone else or sell them. It's no big deal.
Some people don't have any family to buy them anything at all.

At least with a voucher you can get something you'd actually use😂