Thoughtless gifts AIBU

There’s alway someone that will vote the opposite to everyone else, I’m sure it’s just for the hell of it most of the time!

Omg yes I really feel for you with this one!
My mother buys for me like I'm 5 years old still, loads of little cluttery kids silly stuff, I hate clutter and unnecessary junk. She prepares all year around for Christmas buying it all, never once asked me if I wanted anything.
I used to keep it out of guilt but it just goes in the charity bag now. I've tried mentioning it every year now forever and she tells me that she's my mother and she's going to buy me that stuff.
I always put lots of thought and effort into gifts and it does hurt my feelings.

My DH many many years ago hen he as a child was given with his parents and siblings an enormous and expensive box of chocolates. Except when they opened it all the chocolates had been eaten and the little containers filled with Jelly Tots. I suspect his mother was more disappointed than they 😁

🤣

My parents used to swap gifts with friends, they received this weird plastic moulded flower one year then displayed it. One of their friends goes to places like Benidorm annually and always brings a gift, nice, but it’s always shells, sand in packets, I just don’t see the point, or horrible (sorry, but they are) plastic coasters with weird designs.

They gave me a horrible wooden cat looking at its own bum. Mysteriously the dogs got it one year so I had to bin it. My sil gave me nodding metal dogs, like what I am supposed to do with it? I have no lounge table/mantelpiece and they’re not my taste anyway. It’s lovely that she bothered, but like a pp, I’d rather have consumables, or a voucher then I can choose my own thing.

Ex SIL used to do this
Every gift was some sort of bath/shower/ lotion gift set.

Except I have sensitive skin & come out in a rash at loads of stuff so I only use products I know I'm OK with.
The first time I told her this
And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc

Then I left the gift at her house
When she called to tell me I told her to use it because, as I'd told her for the past x years I'm allergic to it and wouldn't use it.

She and MIL stopped buying me gifts, which I was fine with.

People should not be making themselves skint by buying crap. Why waste time, money and effort in buying crap?

Gift sets are one of the obvious “no thought given” gifts. As there’s always something which I don’t use. Bubble bath, bath bombs, body lotion (only can use certain ones). Then those hot chocolate sets - enough for one sodding mug of it. Plus those little pots of jam which don’t cover a slice of toast. A scone perhaps. You think to yourself that you have the ‘free’ set as purchased from Boots or other retailers when they are 3 for 2.

This is GOLD.

It was basically this

Ah but sadly it's not a real black hole. That's the only downside

I agree, actually don't like presents. I honestly don't want any. I like what I like and would rather just buy stuff I want. Even stuff like chocolate or alcohol- someone got me rhubarb gin last year which is fine and I drank it but I actually prefer a non flavoured gin. It sounds ungrateful and I do appreciate the thought but I'd just rather spend time with people. It's my birthday soon and DH will pay for a nice meal out/night away or similar which I prefer so much more than actual stuff that I don't want or need.
Children's presents are just ridiculous too, so much waste just for the sake of it.

My late great aunt used to knit with wool - which I’m allergic to. Plus used to knit with hideous colour combinations and patterns. Mustard yellow and jade green checkerboard with heather sleeves and black cuffs, neckline and hem?

She insisted that I wore her latest creation when I next saw her. I was itching and burning like hell.

Mum kept telling LGA that I am allergic to wool. Didn’t listen. Didn’t know what happened to the jumpers

Do you buy presents for others, @Itsrainingten?

When I said I wasn’t doing gifts anymore and didn’t expect any, it stopped.

It helped the people who feel obliged to reciprocate, bow out.

As someone who once got a really cheap and nasty not-wool pompom hat with a fox face on it from my adult SD for Christmas (her Dad was speechless), you are not BU to not be grateful, OP.
I considered regifting it back to her for her birthday but I just stopped buying her gifts so now she gets nowt😜

A black hole rug would be useful if you chuck all the unwanted presents into it and see them vanish

Although I've had questionable gifts in the past, I can't beat the present my friend got from her MIL many, many years ago. It was a ladies roll on garment with suspenders but not only was it horrible, it had been well worn by someone, god knows who though as MIL bought it in a second hand shop. 🤢

Friend threw it out.

@Itsrainingten
They sound like a compulsive charity shop shopper tbh. We have several of these types who buy random stuff that is new with tags and admit that they check their stash near Christmas and then divvy it up to friends and relatives as it saves them shed loads of cash. That's probably why the gifts seem random and as if they don't know you - this stuff has to be gifted somewhere!

I think it depends on the gift voucher and whether it is stuff that you like and will enjoy. So a certain amount of thought goes in to that I guess in that you need to consider what sort of things the recipient likes.

Book tokens for instance are always well received here. Vouchers for "experiences" are often more problematic as they often require a bit of organisation and further expense. Having said that I have had one or two cracking days out as a result of vouchers of this type.

My dad used to give me fairly odd presents - book of napkin folding, box set of Sharpe dvds, excel book. There was always some sort of thought involved so I appreciated it. But yes I agree wholeheartedly with the OP.

You’re obviously right but I can’t get worked up about it to be honest. People want to be seen to get you a gift but can’t be arsed to think about it or perhaps don’t know you well enough to pick something appropriate, so they go utterly generic or completely left field. That’s fundamentally what it’s about.

What about regifting the same present back to them? If they don't like it.... well, you put a much thought into the present for them as they did for you.

I'm afraid I've no answer to your question as to why people do this, it's frustrating as hell 😒

If you know they love buying things and ignore requests for vouchers, why not ask for something specific? Something you would use (even if it’s hideous) like tea towels, or a storage basket or socks?

It's annoying because in addition to the waste, you then have to get rid of it in a way that it will be used again which takes effort. I would give the names of charities I support and if they insist on a gift ask them to please make a donation in my name.