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Original poster

Daughter/ scolhool/ refusing to attend

37 replies

Devonshirerexx · 04/07/2024 07:24

My DD refuses to attend school.

We have had her assessed by CAMHS, but she refused to engage with them.

The school is not helping.

We tried a managed move, which resulted in her having a boyfriend.

She was then attacked by the said boyfriend.

She has also since been to a school for special educational needs and therapy.

Again, she didn't engage.

She is back at her old school with a part-time timetable.

She does have ADHD and is on the spectrum for autism.

She does whatever she likes. We set up her work experience.

The school is saying there is no reference to this.

It was done and organized.

They don't believe in ADHD as it is a Catholic school.

So there is no support in place.

They just send snotty voicemails telling me to get my daughter to school.

Like I don't try!

Has anyone else been through this?

Is there any advice, bar judgment?

I will add more context, depending on any advice received.

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
Devonshirerexx · 04/07/2024 13:34

mammabing · 04/07/2024 09:52

“They don't believe in ADHD as it is a Catholic school.”

That needs to be rephrased. They don’t believe in ADHD because they’re a crap school.
I’ve worked in a catholic school for years and have taught multiple children with ADHD and they’ve always been properly supported.

Is there a family support worker at the school? If not send an email to their pastoral team requesting a plan to help get her in school. At least that way they can’t say you are unsupportive.

Thanks they were the words of the head teacher.
I went to a Catholic school
and all ailments were catered for and yes it is just a crap school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Devonshirerexx · 04/07/2024 13:32

Agix · 04/07/2024 07:30

Why is she refusing to engage and go to school? As in, how does she say she feels about it? Is it boring, is it too hard, is she overwhelmed, is she anxious etc?

Extreme anxiety

OP posts:
Original poster
Devonshirerexx · 04/07/2024 13:30

I've met with senco

No consequences from school
Only home ie taken phone and grounding (which is no good as she doesn't go out)
No devices

Camhs unlisted her due to her not wanting to take part in dbt.
The new head told me that due to the school being Catholic their is no regard for such things as anxiety and adhd, that it is all due to covid and all the other students still partake
The pastoral don't contact me or arrange meetings. (I have tried)
I've had to do the ehc myself
Yeah she is 15
Her anxiety around a school setting is high
She is a well mannered intelligent girl , a fantastic artist
But my worry is her education
Lack of
It's been this way for a year
I got some help from a team around the child but ended up putting things in place myself so they are no longer involved as I have done all the right things

Applications to other schools
She has friends one in particular that she has now fallen out with (not her doing)
That's knocked her confidence
I can't homeschool due to full time work , even if I went part time I have other children , it wouldn't work.
I am at my wits end I have literally done everything I can where school is concerned but due to her not attending I can't get her re allocated to a new school
We tried a managed move and a therapeutic school but she couldn't go in half the time due to her anxiety.
I have exhausted all avenues
Unless anyone knows of anything else i could try or experience with this type of situation 🙏

OP posts:
mammabing · 04/07/2024 09:52

“They don't believe in ADHD as it is a Catholic school.”

That needs to be rephrased. They don’t believe in ADHD because they’re a crap school.
I’ve worked in a catholic school for years and have taught multiple children with ADHD and they’ve always been properly supported.

Is there a family support worker at the school? If not send an email to their pastoral team requesting a plan to help get her in school. At least that way they can’t say you are unsupportive.

ShallWeGoToTheFirepit · 04/07/2024 07:52

usernother · 04/07/2024 07:46

What are the consequences for her not attending school?

Yeah this.

Have you met either sendco?

JacquesHarlow · 04/07/2024 07:47

usernother · 04/07/2024 07:46

What are the consequences for her not attending school?

This...

But could I ask please -

What support have you had from the health services @Devonshirerexx for her ADHD and autism?

usernother · 04/07/2024 07:46

What are the consequences for her not attending school?

TeenDivided · 04/07/2024 07:36

How old? I'm guessing end y10 due to work experience reference, so 15?

MultiplaLight · 04/07/2024 07:35

Tbh she's had a lot more support than many other school refusers.

EmpressOfTheThread · 04/07/2024 07:32

They "don't believe in ADHD because it's a Catholic school". That's certainly not the case.
Have you had meetings with the SENDCO?

StillProcrastinating · 04/07/2024 07:31

The Wexp difficulty will be because schools have legal responsibility for students during g school hours, and have to prove that they’ve taken “reasonable steps” that a child on Wexp will be safe. The employer is responsible for H&S, but school has to check the employer is going to follow good practice and safeguarding. Typically checking they have valid Employers Liability Insurance and getting them to answer some questions. If you give school notice, they may be able to do this for you. Especially if they normally offer Wexp.

Agix · 04/07/2024 07:30

Why is she refusing to engage and go to school? As in, how does she say she feels about it? Is it boring, is it too hard, is she overwhelmed, is she anxious etc?