Parents in law on holiday

As someone who has literally just got back from Cornwall with her in-laws - say no 😂I love my in laws but we’re just such different people, and I end up snapping at my H because I’m irritated by them

Fuck no. All the no's to noville. That's not happening, use your firm voice.

Oh god i feel for you.

This has happened to me/us twice. UK holiday -

MIL: ''Ooooh (shrill excitement) what dates have you booked and we'll be there !!!!!''

Me in my head: 😩😩 Noooooooooooo

What can you say?! Especially when you can hear the convo going on nearby and you can hear DH spluttering and muttering and trying not to give the dates. Me sitting there with bulging eyes thinking 'just say we haven't booked yet just say we haven't booked yet ....'

A third time has been avoided this year but only just. And by a random event beyond anyone's control.

DH let the cat out of the bag in about Feb last year. We then spend the rest of the run up trying to wriggle out of it.

The sensible thing would be to have an adult convo about it. But instead we're going abroad next year.

No suggestions but am in same situation. In laws have insisted that we go on holiday with them this year. Lord knows why. They've been nightmare booking it, nothing is good enough but they won't pay for what they want. Their specifications for what they want has been unachievable so it's gone on for ages as they're convinced we can 'do better's Dh and I struggle to get time off work in school hols so it's now been left so late we didn't get much choice. MIL is already sending messages to me about what clothes I should take as it'll be hot (. I'm nearly 50...!) I feel bit weird being in swimming costume around them so won't relax ('y issue not theirs but in my defence mil has plenty to say about my body shape after I'd given birth and how weight had dropped to my thighs)

They'll be a nightmare. Mil will want someone to go to bar for her constantly DH and FIL will ignore so as a people pleaser I'll be obliged), she'll undermine my parenting. Any days out will be limited as they have limited mobility and will Want to come and kick up a fuss if they can't. DH won't say word. They've never been on hols with us before. It's 14 days. I've never done an overnight with them before as they live within day driving distance so this will be intense. I'm dreading it. It's not a holiday.

I can't offer any advice only that you're not alone. I plan to get earplugs.

I can see their point, they want to spend time with the grandkids on holiday.
They might come in useful as babysitters lol.

Say no. My mum is now a widow and I've explained to her she is welcome on most holidays but I need a week every year just me and the kids.
She's been super understanding.

This is the sort of thing my in laws would do. Your OH needs to say no because you need some quality family time together but perhaps could suggest a weekend elsewhere later in the year if he feels too awkward just saying no.

And yes I have done the same. A family member invited us to use their holiday home. We booked it, then they said that they would also be coming along. I had to have a nasty conversation. But they didn’t come and that shit did not happen again.

And don’t worry about their feelings, they haven’t worried about yours or they would have asked you directly

Tell him very clearly ‘no’

no no no it is your holiday, not theirs.

suggest to them that he arranges a nice weekend away with them.

be brave and say no to them too. Stamp this shit out. Say ‘this is our holiday, we have plans. Maybe we can book an extra weekend for later in the year’