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Original poster

I stood up to a man at work and he did NOT like it

89 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 21:27

Bloke at work, nice enough, totally average at job, not a blagger or anything.
We were teamed up for a project by my boss . We have worked together before on a small project and it went fine.
When I approached him and said "we are teamed up again" he made a loud groan and expressed distaste at this in front of a table of colleagues and said "I'm letting you do all the work this time" suggesting I'd been lazy last time we did a project(demonstrably untrue)
I fumed on it and then restructured my work all above board with my boss to work with a new pairing, leaving him to deliver with a newer member of staff. He is now very angry, and said I had to do it as he didn't want to do the work (he has to , it's part of our role) and I needed to stop being silly and just do it. When I calmly responded that he expressed disdain and so therefore I had gone where i was wanted, he lost the plot and stopped off in a huff to the boss who told him the same
Hahahahaha best day ever

OP posts:
Whistledown1005 · 03/07/2024 23:25

Love these kinds of posts!

DontThinkJustDo · 03/07/2024 23:11

I wish I had your ovaries OP. I'm still fuming I didn't stand up to a man today who flung a door open, nearly hitting me and then blaming me for standing behind the door. I was going to tell him that he should open the door like a normal person instead of flinging it open but bottled it. I was worried about the repercussions.

CriticalCondition · 03/07/2024 23:09

The not giving way to men who expect you to swerve thing has a name - patriarchy chicken. I've been doing it for a few years now since I first read about it on MN. The look on their faces is priceless!

Onemoreterm · 03/07/2024 23:09

Well done Op.

we all need to call out work-twats on their twattish behaviour more often

Runsyd · 03/07/2024 22:51

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

I often try this. They always get out of my way, even though I'm five foot nothing. The trick is to make it look like you haven't seen them.

Newnameshoos · 03/07/2024 22:47

Well done and I'm glad it worked out well for you.
I took stood up to a man, after putting up with years of micro aggressions and barely hidden bullying and harassment. It went very badly and the line manager who was also intimidated by him threw me under the metaphorical bus.
I would be very much on your guard with him from now on. He's likely to try to get his own back in some way.

Biggleslefae · 03/07/2024 22:36

Well done, he was counting on you being a soft touch, turns out you're made of steel 😎

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

Viviennemary · 03/07/2024 22:31

He has only himself to blame. After his rude childish reaction to being paired with you.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 22:31

Being calm and vague is definitely a tactic I'll use again. When he said he didn't want to do it I said " I know I don't think anyone really wants to do it but we have to" in a sort of smily eye roll about the job way. Then I just kept saying to talk to our boss now I'm working in the other pairing. Like it was all a decided situation, and he had no sway. It worked well

OP posts:
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 03/07/2024 22:24

He misjudged you BADLY!

MrsMacGyver · 03/07/2024 22:20

Brilliant 😂

EwwSprouts · 03/07/2024 22:17

Well done.

Wisterical · 03/07/2024 22:15

Well done!

Atethehalloweenchocs · 03/07/2024 22:13

Ha ha, so sad, too bad.

godmum56 · 03/07/2024 22:12

oh well done you

GingerPirate · 03/07/2024 22:12

Tough.
Didn't like it 😂

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/07/2024 22:11

What a silly billy.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 22:10

Stupidest thing is, all in this bit of work will take us about 2 hours all in!

OP posts:
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 22:08

EmeraldRoulette · 03/07/2024 21:52

Good for you

Why did he say such a dumb thing in the first place? Weird power game?

I dunno, he's not normally a power play idiot. Best guess is he was having a sulk about working as he is lazy and keeps an eye on what everyone else is doing/having etc he decided to take it out on me. God knows why. We have a kind of nod at each other twice a week in passing kind of work relationship

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 03/07/2024 22:07

Well done OP!
I'd also document what he'd said (in front of the table of colleagues) - even in just an email to yourself (work email and send it to your personal email). Probably never needed but just in case.

Codlingmoths · 03/07/2024 22:06

Hahaaaa imagine complaining to the boss, it’s like asking for the stupid jerk prize. ‘Hey boss I was mean to x and now she isn’t working with me and I’m with the newbie so I’m gonna have to do some wo-ORK. MAKE X DO IT FOR ME!’

Dweetfidilove · 03/07/2024 22:03

Excellent work 😊

FOJN · 03/07/2024 21:59

Well done you.

TheDogdidGood · 03/07/2024 21:56

Excellent :)