Lying husband help

Firstly op, sending hugs. What a twat your husbsnd is.

Secondly, dont let on anything else...he is already suss as he has changed passwords. Dodgy AF, he is up to something.

Legal advise asap. Let your family know. Report to his employer for financial abuse. Get evidence.

Stay strong and look out for you and your kids only going forward. X

What a mess. Hope you get it sorted and find peace.

Log in and get all the information you can before he changes the passwords and locks you out

Are there any references on the transfers out? Also wondering if the Amazon payments could be for an Amazon credit card, rather than buying stuff from a separate account? Could you do a credit check for him? Probs not allowed but wouldn't stop me at this point.

He's a lying scumbag. Definitely speak to a solicitor. And contact women's aid. He's financially abusing you.
You need to find out what benefits you're entitled now as a separated woman and start claiming straight away. Can you stay with a mate or family member for the time being, with the kids?

With my ex it was someone he was working with whilst deployed. So same regiment but different units back home. Their deployment ended within a few weeks of each other and she had requested to move to our base when she returned to UK. I found out that the majority of them there (it was Falklands) were cheating on partners, for some it was just something to do whilst deployed, for others they carried it on when returning back to their bases in the UK. This might not be the case with your husband, but affairs are rife within the military and your situation just sounded very similar to mine.

Just to let you know, from a bank perspective, "giving permission" means setting up a third party authority on the account, not just him giving you a card to use. If the card has your name on it, then there is a TPA. If it doesn't, then although you clearly have a moral argument for using it, the bank would consider this that either a) he's intentionally not been careful with his details, and therefore any fraud issues he raises could be dismissed because he has a history of sharing his personal details, b) fraud on your behalf - but of course he'd have to declare that he never allowed you to use his card and you took it and used it without permission.

Devils advocate , could it be someone pregnant / new baby ? Expensive and need things !

Could he have another child? I know that is a long shot but that was my first thought. Sorry you are dealing with this.

I normally advocate heading to divorce board and using link to ADVICE NOW . But you are being financially abused and possibly other abuse, so you need to talk to someone. People often mention women’s aid, and certainly a solicitor. Gathering evidence discreetly and quietly just now and getting that adivce is best re establishing abuse.

but do read the ADVICE NOW guide. As a wife you have rights under “fair settlement “ criteria for fancial settlement and you need to know which apply to you. That determines your settllemt and is ALWAYS based on future needs alone. . ALL his assets MUST Be declared in a legal financial declaration (forms E and D81). Lying on those is actually 2 crimes- fraud and contempt of court, and courts dont like contempt. So you need the proof if you believe he doesn’t fully declare. That declaration includes all assets- salary, pensions, savings, gifts, chatells. You both complete one.

ADVICE NOW takes you through processes, explains the law, and which bits you need solicitor for, which you don’t and when you might.

they also explain how to start divorce petition. You do NOT need a solicitor for that, it will take you an hour on line at most. You merely need a few docs like marriage cert. If you have no money for court costs (around £600 I think now) you can claim legal aid potentially. Either citizens advice or the ADVICE NOW guides explain how to apply.

be careful what you spend on solicitors- don’t use to ask about process, (read up yourself on line) or to mona, complain apr bare your sole to- they’ll happ
ily listen then charge you £3.50 plus for every single minute they do that, at £200 plus per hour. Tell the the exact tasks you need them to do. So you need to start reading up.

Absolutely speak to the military about it. From my experience they take it very seriously. My sister had a similar issue and they sorted it, I'm not sure how, he was majorly abusive and they still did.

You need to report his financial abuse to his employer.
Say nothing, but reach out for support from them.
Remove him from the car insurance.
Get as much proof as possible via screen shots and put a security code on your phone

Might be worth explaining what's been happening to your family. Ask them to stay quiet but maybe your dad could ask him when the money will be back for the other half of the lump sum?

I bet he's been spinning a tale to his mum to get money out of her too

If you don’t need it, sell the car!

Take him off the car insurance. Then if he tries to take the car you can report him for no insurance..
I found out less about my dh's stitching up his family and filed for divorce the very next day.

If you seek support from his employers, you must make it clear that you are being financially abused. It's a crime.

See the solicitor. Say nothing to your husband. Gather as much evidence as you can. Horrible bastard, I hope he gets what's coming.