My restrictive eating triggers people

I have to say if someone brought scales on holiday with me I would chuck them as well. Unless you’re going on holiday for a month and eating out 3 meals a day plus snacks and not moving at all, it really is not necessary to even think about your weight when on holiday

It's jealousy..I lost some too- not as much as you but a fair bit- and suddenly people are "concerned". And I'm "bony". BMI 21, healthy weight. No one was expressing any concern when I had BMI of 28 +, no energy and was aching constantly....
Now I have SIL trying to force me to eat chocolate- I quit sugar and she know it!

It's not you OP, it's them. Carry on doing what you are doing and ignore comments. Smile and don't engage.

I actually completely get where you’re coming from. Losing that amount of weight must have been very difficult, particularly as you have pcos (me too!) and it’s understandable that you need to remain in the somewhat-restricted mindset when it comes to food and eating to prevent putting weight back on.
As long as you’re not commenting on other peoples food intake or saying smug stuff ‘oh I couldn’t possibly eat all that!’ etc (I’m sure you’re not!), then it’s really no one’s business. You know what is right for you and your health.

Perhaps you could ask your family 'Would you be constantly on at me about drinking if I were an alcoholic?'

Binge eating disorder is a miserable way to live @Cadelo and I totally get it. You've done so well to get to where you are - a healthy bmi and a way to cope day to day.

Maybe your family are genuinely worried because they are used to you being bigger and the contrast plus your coping mechanisms seem excessive to them. Maybe they have an odd relationship with food themselves and your refusal to 'let go' completely is triggering for them. I don't know, obviously. Maybe they feel judged however erroneously by your not indulging.

Whatever their reasoning, it's massively annoying being constantly pestered to eat stuff just to make other people feel better.

Stick to what works for you.

It's no one else's business if you take the scales on holiday. If its part of your routine and makes you feel you are keeping track of things, I can't see the harm in bringing it and quietly using it in the privacy of your own room.
I see it was your DH who let slip.
Why is your SIL taking it apon herself to comment on your scales, your breakfast, what you eat, how much you've lost? I'd find that really annoying. She needs to back off.
You are a healthy BMI and after 3 years are staying on track and feel better for it.
Quite a few posts saying its too much tho. I'm surprised, but maybe it might be a good idea to check with whichever diet advisor you used.

Well done on losing so much weight.

I completely understand the weighing daily thing, it's something I do too...I weigh in kgs so it's just about data collection and seeing what's happening daily rather than fixating on how much I weigh (my brain can't process kg in the same way as stones and lbs).

That being said, I've never taken the scales on holiday...but then I'm still stuck with needing to lose at least 3 more stone - I've been in plateau state for 3 years (that's a whole other thread). I think people who have never had to battle and restrict food to a very precise amount just don't understand how the scales are actually a supportive aspect rather than a controlling/obsessive one.

It sounds like you're doing a great job of not falling back onto that slippery slope of 'treats' that end up being a way of eating. You know how difficult it was the first time round, I'm very impressed that you have the willpower to stop it happening again.

Other people can fuck off!

Taking scales is bonkers but unless you are very underweight (and people describing you as scrawny does allude to that) your way of eating doesn't sound terrible at all, just on the light side. Personally I would tell SIL that once upon a time I weighed a lot more and it took a LOT to lose it and you don't wish to go back there so the scales remind you to stay on track because you have a tendency to overindulge if you don't. HOWEVER... you should be aware that weight fluctuates all day, every day, through various factors and weighing yourself on the daily does not actually give you a true representation of your weight. You would be better to do this once per week or use a special pair of jeans or something to see if you feel you have gone over - you would soon tell and then can lighten up rather than fixating on numbers on a scale.

Yeah, and everyone's weight naturally fluctuates up and down on a daily basis anyway.

Agree. Salad and pizza your choice. Scales is verging in a mental illness/ food disorder.

Except you do not have to. That is called being obsessive.

Sorry, but I'd hate to go on holiday with you and would feel that you were judging choices regardless of whether you were or not. The scales are ott.

Well done on the weight loss, but you do seem to have disordered eating.

OP I am really fat and I wish I had adopted your approach when I gained weight

It's no one's business what you eat. I shudder to think what they'd be like if they met an alcoholic....maybe more sympathetic I dunno.

I could have written this. I feel really happy for everyone commenting that the OP is obsessive, because it doesn't sound like you've had to go through life being limited in this way. Once you find freedom, just letting it all go for a week to appease other people doesn't appeal

If weighing every day helps you feel in control, take the scales with you. It will spoil the holiday for you, if you are worrying whether you have put on weight. It is no one else's business.

I'm sorry to be blunt OP, but if I was your friend or family I would be concerned for your wellbeing. From my experience it sounds like you might have an eating disorder. Have a think about whether food is stopping you from living life eg, do you avoid social arrangements that involve food?
It's very common not to be able to recognise this in your own behaviour, especially in the early stages and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

I suspect your husband telling your sister about the daily weighing was a cry for help on his part as he's worried about you. If you are feeling brave, could you ask him how he feels about your eating/weighing and if he has concerns?

Can you speak to your GP?

Try looking at the BEAT website for advice.

I wish you well and strength to take the steps you need. There are lots of compassionate people out there who understand and want to help you.

But that's noone's business but OP's (and whoever she shares a room with.

I agree it sounds controlling (of OP towards herself) but it has no bearing on anyone else's food or life.

Let them get triggered. That's their issue. You do what you want! Well done on being healthy!

I don't think anyone needs to comment on anyone else's eating habits tbh, it sounds like you don't comment on hers so she doesn't need to comment on yours

The number does not ‘jump’ within a day. That is called water retention, not getting fat.

The fact that you are blind as to why this is obsessive shows that you are in a really unhealthy situation, OP.

Ignore some of these remarks. Going on holiday with someone who should be supporting you but instead deliberately makes personal remarks knowing your eating history is hard enough, so take the scales if it helps you to feel in control and make sure you have a lovely holiday.

Having said that, when you come home I think you do need to address the daily weighing, it sounds as though it is becoming something that you are relying on and clinging on to, that you don’t have confidence in your ability to regulate your weight by healthy eating and exercise, which I think you have shown yourself very capable of doing. So when you are back home maybe change the weighing to once a week, then in a few months once a fortnight. It doesn’t sound as though you need to do it to regulate your weight, but are hanging on to it as a mental crutch and need to wean yourself off the habit.

Everything you've said is okay apart from the scales, taking scales on holiday is bonkers.

Reading your posts I would say you still have quite an unhealthy relationship with food and your body. You've lost the weight that's great, but now fear and a lack of trust in yourself controls you. I suspect that's what your family see.

You have lost a lot of weight, you should be congratulated. Have you any loose skin that might prompt remarks like scrawny?
Weighing yourself everyday sounds as if you might be becoming obsessive about your weight.
Holidays are meant to be a change of routine when we relax.