Once spent most of the past 3 years in bed, without anyone knowing…

Do you have a garden?
If you do, spend as much time as possible outside, even if asleep. You say you go to bed, get a sun bed and spend that time outside sleeping on that instead. Natural daylight is so important and you can't get enough of it.

This is me too I’m 2 1/2 years free from a bad situation I function for the kids and work and study but other than that I’m laying down I think it’s because i finally have a safe space now x

Yeah they can make you feel worse when you start on them sometimes

I wrote a long letter to my GP listing all my traits and giving examples. In the end, they referred me without even seeing me and the autism centre said that the letter was very useful. It’s good to have it all written down so that you don’t forget or minimise things.

If this has only been the last three years presumably you were functioning as "normal" until then? Whatever the reasons, burnout, PMDD or a result of you being displaced getting some sort of activity back seems essential as laying around in bed is obviously not helping. Changing your GP seems like a good first step. Do you have any support nearby?

Trying to change a lot of things all at once will be too overwhelming.

Jumping back on to this thread because you've said a lot that I relate to as well. Suspected ADHD but feel too attention seeking to seek an appointment; followed children's dad to a part of the country that I absolutely hate, from a wonderful capital city that I loved. Now feel trapped and know will never be able to leave, at least not until DC are grown.

This won't apply if your problem is physical, of course, but in case it's more circumstances related (like I'm sure it is for me), here are some other things I've done that seem to have helped: make a real effort to arrange and meet up with friends, even if infrequently and briefly. Make an effort with how I look - I don't actually care much about clothes and appearance, but I've slowly been building a wardrobe that I like and that I feel good in. Psychologically being "put together" helps me face the world. This one isn't good but I started smoking as a way to push me through the day - like I smoke at set times, when I've done set tasks. I absolutely don't recommend smoking but maybe substitute with something better for you that would bring you some joy. Build time in the evening to just relax, no tasks, just whatever you feel like doing. This one is really weird and might not do anything for you, but I take 15 minutes to lie on my cold stone kitchen floor twice a day (after drop off and before pick up) and it sort of grounds me.

I'm also taking on board some of the tips here.

I’m like you OP in that I have very little energy. I’m diagnosed with Asperger’s, GAD and depression and I’m self diagnosed with inattentive adhd. I use the habit tracker app at the moment and I put every single chore and every self care habit on there. I also use it for affirmations or little nuggets of wisdom that I don’t want to forget. I skip a lot of things each day but mostly, things get done. You need to focus on one small job at a time and tick it off so that you don’t feel overwhelmed with everything else. Every item needs a home so it’s easy to tidy. Drawers and cupboards don’t need to be perfect in order for you to put things in them.

I have a few ND friends and we all have low energy/fibro type symptoms. We all have a history of abuse too. If you haven’t conquered that area of your life I’d suggest Dr Ramani on YouTube. You really do need to understand abuse and why you’ve allowed yourself to be abused. It will take a while!! Are you speaking to yourself in an unkind way? I haven’t managed to properly pick apart what causes my low energy but I do have more energy when I feel that life is moving forwards. Trouble is it’s a catch 22 because it’s hard to move forwards when you’re so exhausted.

Recently I decided to buy myself a camper van, which is something I’ve wanted to do for ages. I couldn’t get the validation I needed from anyone around me so I thought ‘Right, only I can make this decision and they can all bugger off’. Well, I suddenly had energy which lasted a couple of weeks!! Make of that what you will! I must say I’ve gone downhill again but I’m not as bad as I was. Anyway, sorry if that’s a useless anecdote but it was some sort of breakthrough for me even if I haven’t quite made sense of it.

If you aren’t already I would try supplements of multivitamin, b12, iron and vit d and take them daily.

If you suspect adhd then a good place to start is a book called finally focused by Greenblatt. It talks about supplements which support adhd as well as some diet and life advice. It’s a bit American but really well researched.

OP, hang on in there. Be kind to yourself.

One day you will start to feel more positive x I promise.

What were your B12 levels? Also iron, D3, thyroid levels?

@SinkingFeelingSoph Do you have work and do you know if you feel better with or without work?

@ElecticBetty would you be okay to tell us which med finally worked for you?

@Summerpigeon how did the diagnosis help ypu please?

Your describing ADHD and autism
I got diagnosed last year age 50
Your describing burnout I was ,on NHS. Waiting list for 3 years . totally worth it to have everything make sense

Can the GP refer you to the community mental health team? Perhaps a mental health OT may be able to offer some help and advice. How are you managing weekends and school holidays? Spending so much time in bed is ok for a day or two but not three years.

OP I haven’t RTFT but I saw your post and immediately thought it sounded like narcolepsy. We have narcolepsy in the family which is why I say that. Apologies if someone else has mentioned this already or if this is now off-topic. Might be worth getting checked out for that if you haven’t already. Best wishes and hang on in there.

I was like this - v tired from burnout and depression. It took me a long time to realise the antidepressants I was taking (fluoxetine) had slowly made the fatigue immeasurably worse as well - that waking up to do school run, going back to sleep till I had to do the school run again, rest until dinner and then I could lie down completely to start all over again

I felt like the walking dead.

took me 4 types till I found the antidepressants that work for me

I could of written this needed 15 to 18 hrs of sleep a day to function. Suffer with severe mh conditions and physical health issues and take a ridiculous amount of meds a day. I know your going to roll your eyes at this as I did to but changing your diet works wonders iv never had so much energy and theirs a lot of studies showing mental health and gut health are closely linked.

I was going to suggest ASD/ADHD burnout /masking might be part of your health issues

If it feels physical I'd be concerned about ME, it sounds likely when you're physically exhausted from being up between school finishing and bed time.
Is there any family/friends you can tell?Reading between the lines it sounds like you're struggling to keep your home tidy and have some shame about this, and maybe a reason you've not told anyone. If you were my family member or friend I would hate to think you've not reached out for some help.

Hi, I also think checking out some form of neurodivergence might be a good idea. Your need for a recovery day off from working is what makes me think it. You might be in the midst of autistic burnout brought about from abuse and life in general. It might also explain why you can’t tolerate anti depressants well and hrt is a bad call - you could be extra sensitive to the drugs which is common in autism for e.g.

Could it be ME? It sounds like it could be as extreme exhaustion is the main symptom. I agree you need to go back to your GP or try a different GP.
I really hope things improve for you.

And how are you feeling about impending school holidays? Will that help in that you’ll be up for your dc and do stuff with them? Or do you think you won’t feel able to?

I could definitely see myself in this situation,
I need structure and routine and am happier with it, but find it really hard to impose it on myself.

hence why work for me is very important, but if not well enough for that I think if it was me I’d have to have regular groups or classes or meet ups with friends to give me that structure and routine and time out of the house. But I know that is easier said than done,

even if you can start by finding something to do in the morning then going to bed in the afternoon til pick up at first