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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Move baby from childminder to nursery

41 replies

Cookiecrumblepie · 03/07/2024 11:01

Am struggling with this decision so seeking thoughts from mumsnetters! My little one (baby 8 months) has just started with a childminder. It seems to be a great setting, big house, very professional, all new toys etc, only a few children. . Essentially it all appears excellent although I don't really know other than the photos and videos sent through. Also there is no CCTV (as expected with a childminder). Baby seems quite happy.

I have also received a spot with a local nursery. Nice setting, bit small, more children, cheaper and has excellent policies and CCTV 24/7. So I guess very professionally run and has a good reputation locally.

AIBU to move my baby? I am really torn with this decision, both are great settings and financially the nursery is the better option, but I do think fewer children would be better for a baby. But then I also worry about no CCTV.

So what would you do? Move your baby? Or leave with CM?

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HappyChilli · 07/07/2024 23:45

I’d just say that it doesn’t necessarily need to be all or nothing? When our children were small we had a nanny 2 days a week then the rest was in a nursery. I felt the nursery setting had some advantages in socialisation, also not impacted if the one carer was sick etc. but we loved our couple of nanny days- more of a home experience, bit more relaxed etc, which I imagine a child minder would be similar. We really felt like we had the best of both worlds.

Blessedbethefruitz · 07/07/2024 17:17

I wouldn't change if you're happy with the childminder, cctv be damned.

I say this as a nursery advocate - mine started at 4 months and 7 months. Our nursery has no cctv, very low staff turnover, and the kids come home grubby. BUT aside from the obvious benefits of not losing childcare due to childminder sickness/holiday, and always being more than 1 pair of eyes for safety/dodgy people (no matter how unlikely), both of my kids are besotted with 1 or 2 ladies from nursery. My son is at school now and still likes to collect his baby sister so he can see his baby room leader. The staff are free with their affection. I think that's the most important part, the bond.

CatStoleMyChocolate · 07/07/2024 17:15

I’d stick with the childminder unless you have a reason beyond the lack of CCTV to want to move your baby. I honestly believe a good childminder you trust is the best option for a younger child. They provide much more individualised care. I would only consider moving to a nursery if you had other concerns such as childminder has already taken lots of sick days/gives too little notice to accommodate leave, or hours don’t work, or obviously any safety concerns.

We’ve used childminders for our children; neither had CCTV (we used two as we moved house). Been with our current one for seven years now and she’s like extended family to us. Can’t believe our youngest finishes with her this summer!

Gently, I would also point out that the presence of CCTV does not prevent poor care - it may have made it easier to evidence in court afterwards but it did not prevent the awful incident that I think you’re referring to from happening, despite multiple staff members being present and knowing they were being filmed.

whoamI00 · 07/07/2024 17:11

I prefer nursery over childminder. People all look very nice but it's difficult to judge whether they are completely trustworthy. I like nursery because they have more than one, two staff in the same room.

insidemyshed · 07/07/2024 17:05

MN tend to be pro childminder / anti nursery. I prefer nursery settings but in this case I’d keep him where he is.

There have been two recent cases of murder / manslaughter: one involving a nursery and one a childminder and both vanishingly rare. I wouldn’t base a decision on such unlikely and extreme cases.

sarah419 · 07/07/2024 17:02

CCTV is actually not healthy to have lol i would imagine parents obsessing! at young age, the childminder setting is probably better for your child. they’ll be getting very sick in bigger settings, and you’ll need to take time off work repeatedly.

JayJayj · 07/07/2024 17:01

I’m my personal opinion I’d say unless you really need the lower cost option (which is understandable) I’d say stick to child minder. Even though the nursery mine went to was really nice and staff seemed friendly she didn’t always have her key person. I think it would be much better to have the same person looking after them.

TheAlchemy · 07/07/2024 16:47

I think it’s so dependent on your own individual child. For me I preferred a nursery due to the age segregation. When my DD went at 14mo she was in a room from 12-18m and then 18m-3 and then 3-5. With childminders I personally did not enjoy the idea that my 14mo was surrounded by boisterous 3 and 4yo that were also being cared for.

I get that people feel that a sole carer allows for a closer bond but for me it also allowed for no accountability and no checks and balances from peers or management.

It is such a personal decision though and others will have different views for what worked for their family.

MsCactus · 07/07/2024 16:45

Cookiecrumblepie · 03/07/2024 11:07

@CurlewKate I just think if something did go wrong, it would be helpful?! And I guess staff would be a bit more mindful of how they treat the kids knowing that they are being filmed. Was a recent news story that freaked me out a bit and I thought it was lucky the nursery had CCTV.

I know obviously I am overthinking this and 99.99% of childminders and nursery staff treat the kids perfectly well, but it's just that tiny bit of extra peace of mind.

With a childminder you can vet and check who is looking after your baby.

At a nursery they get min wage agency workers in if people are sick - and they literally only have a DBS check, they're not required to have any other qualifications and you don't know them.

Unless the childminder has previous complaints about them - which you'll be able to see via Ofsted - I'd have said it's much safer for a young baby.

Emmz1510 · 07/07/2024 16:45

I don’t know if I would move a child who was settled, but it had to be nursery for me. I couldn’t be bothered with having to be tied to a childminders annual leave or being stuck if they happened to be sick or have a family emergency.
Also the few childminders I looked into at the time all were looking after older children who went to school or nursery and did the pick ups and drop offs. For one minder this meant drop offs at school at 9, picking one up at lunchtime from nursery, dropping another one off a short time later and then a nursery then a school pick up later on. I felt like my child would be spending most of the day in a car ferrying other children around and that put me off.

Justus6 · 07/07/2024 16:36

We went for childminder setting and was the best decision we could have made. My daughter loved it still talks about it now. They did different activities everyday and during the summer months did tons of day trips the memories she made for my child was next to none. I think childminders are very special people and the love they give in your absence is phenomenal x

DollyRocka · 07/07/2024 16:30

Childminders generally don’t have staff, it’s just themselves so why would they need cctv?

mindutopia · 06/07/2024 13:24

I personally have always preferred a nursery over childminder as more hands on deck to care for my child and I never liked the idea of them being dragged around in the car all day. I want to know where they are. I don’t think I’ve ever used a setting with CCTV and it wouldn’t even be something I thought about. Given how much is caught on CCTV (even in people’s own homes), it’s clearly not preventative. If someone wants to harm a child, they’ll do it away from CCTV. Choose the setting that has the best feel and is the most convenient long term.

Springadorable · 06/07/2024 12:51

But CCTV didn't keep that poor nine month old safe?

Gogogo12345 · 06/07/2024 12:47

Reugny · 06/07/2024 12:30

Nurseries now have a much higher turnover of staff due to the wages they pay.

So it's unlikely a child who has a key worker at 9 months will have the same one just before they go to school.

This is because nursery workers can get more money working in a supermarket for less stress.

Why do you think nursery staff are being paid less these days? It's always been badly paid. It was badly paid when my eldest DD went to one and that was in 1992 before minimum wage. . So can't see your point?

Reugny · 06/07/2024 12:30

Gogogo12345 · 06/07/2024 11:39

My son loved his keyworker in nursery They had an excellent bond Saw her every day ( well 4 days a week) from 6 months old till his 5th birthday Why can't it happen in nursery?

Edited

Nurseries now have a much higher turnover of staff due to the wages they pay.

So it's unlikely a child who has a key worker at 9 months will have the same one just before they go to school.

This is because nursery workers can get more money working in a supermarket for less stress.

Motheranddaughter · 06/07/2024 12:22

For me it’s a go with your gut situation
Personally I would not have used a childminder,but if that is what you think is best for your child then do that

MummytoAAandX · 06/07/2024 12:13

All three of my children went to nursery and were so happy! Really strong bond with their key workers and so happy. It doesn't have CCTV and it's not something I've ever thought about to be honest.

NuffSaidSam · 06/07/2024 11:47

I'd always prefer a childminder and if the baby is already settled there it seems a no brainer tbh.

Big risk, taking the baby out and risking that they don't settle at nursery.

EndlessSummer · 06/07/2024 11:44

I personally preferred a nursery for my dc.

One point to consider with a childminder which I found to be a problem is their annual leave. I had two childminders for different days and they would take annual leave with no back up plan. They also both went on maternity leave at the same time!

Gogogo12345 · 06/07/2024 11:39

OCDmama · 04/07/2024 22:54

Childminder. It's best for babies and toddlers to create that attachment with a caregiver.

I love seeing the bond between my childminder and children. I just don't see how that could happen in a nursery.

My son loved his keyworker in nursery They had an excellent bond Saw her every day ( well 4 days a week) from 6 months old till his 5th birthday Why can't it happen in nursery?

Reugny · 04/07/2024 23:22

HAF1119 · 04/07/2024 23:06

Generally speaking - if your little one is happy where they are then leave them there. Once you leave you often can't go back - so mostly I would just go with it if your little one is happy.

Some (but it all) children do start getting a bit bored/not thriving with childminder from about 2.5 or 3 years old as then they are the oldest and likely with 2 babies most of the time - that is when I moved mine to nursery and it seemed the perfect time for him. Used both for a few weeks (3 days nursery 2 CM) then gave notice as he was very happy at the nursery. He definately grew in loads of confidence from the nursery

Depends on the childminder and ages of other children.

My DD is going back to hers for a few days in the summer holiday.

CM was child led so when my DD showed interested in writing she let her.

However from 3 my DD went to nursery PT as well to be in a larger group. Some of the other mindees, similar age and also PT, just stayed with the CM as they had been sent to a nursery as babies and been treated poorly. (There are actually very good nurseries oddly right near the CMs house but you need to get your child down at birth to get them in.)

Notthatcatagain · 04/07/2024 23:10

My grandson was at a really nice nursery, one of the best in our town. We used to pick him up some days, it was always clean, plenty of toys and the kids seemed mostly happy but the thing that I noticed that really bothered me was that the staff turnover was huge, honestly it sometimes seemed that there were different girls there every month or so. I don't know if it was because they were poor employers or just because the girls were all very young and just liked to move around. I would have liked to see better continuity of care

HAF1119 · 04/07/2024 23:06

Generally speaking - if your little one is happy where they are then leave them there. Once you leave you often can't go back - so mostly I would just go with it if your little one is happy.

Some (but it all) children do start getting a bit bored/not thriving with childminder from about 2.5 or 3 years old as then they are the oldest and likely with 2 babies most of the time - that is when I moved mine to nursery and it seemed the perfect time for him. Used both for a few weeks (3 days nursery 2 CM) then gave notice as he was very happy at the nursery. He definately grew in loads of confidence from the nursery

atticstage · 04/07/2024 23:06

Cookiecrumblepie · 03/07/2024 11:07

@CurlewKate I just think if something did go wrong, it would be helpful?! And I guess staff would be a bit more mindful of how they treat the kids knowing that they are being filmed. Was a recent news story that freaked me out a bit and I thought it was lucky the nursery had CCTV.

I know obviously I am overthinking this and 99.99% of childminders and nursery staff treat the kids perfectly well, but it's just that tiny bit of extra peace of mind.

The only recent case I've seen in the news about CCTV in a nursery was after a baby died. I would argue that the CCTV achieved nothing, it certainly didn't result in the baby being safer.

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