To be heading for a nervous breakdown

No job is worth that amount of stress

Oh heck, you need some down time, but don't leave it too late to the point you have a major breakdown. Sooner rather than later.

I would take the advice of some other posters and email/speak to your manager. That takes the pressure off you and onto them. I'd do that as a first. In the meantime, get a doctors appointment booked and get signed off for a while.

Spend that time doing things that you like and that make you smile! Whether that's sitting out of an evening with a brew and a blanket watching the stars, having a silly disco with the kids, go to the beach and feel the sea on your toes! All of these are really grounding and more importantly- real!

I've been in your position op and I really feel for you. My advice, is to experience things that are much bigger than careers, housework, shopping etc, don't think about work and just spend time really getting you back. You are so much more important than work and seeing the stars, lambs in the fields, walking up a fell/mountain and looking down. It hits home that you are more than a job.

Sending a huge hug!

I get this, 100%. It's a horrible feeling when you need to keep the job to keep head above water financially but it's desperately busy and stressful and you're working all hours and consequently missing things so you're constantly worrying about being sacked. Realistically it's hard to sack people for making mistakes, unless it's a gross misconduct doozer it takes time and due process. And usually they don't want to sack you anyway! But it's hard to keep it in perspective that it's just a job. I have sometimes panicked over a mistake but then felt oddly relieved, like it would all be over soon once the worst had happened and if we had to sell the house and move and I had to take something less stressful for less pay then that might actually be for the best in the long run. But agree totally you need some decent time off. I never take time off as the work will all be waiting on my desk plus another two weeks worth more when I get back, it's not worth it for the stress of returning. A few months would mean someone else has to do it.

No job is worth so much stress or sickness. We can make ourselves ill when most jobs if not all would replace us in a heartbeat. Take some time for your health and your family.

Oh love. I've been feeling this way for weeks with ft legal job and one DD and my dad in hospital. I finally cracked yesterday, called the doc and have been signed off for 2 weeks. Since then I've cried solidly. Cried over In The Night Garden because Macca Pacca doesnt know how hard life is, cried that my DD prefers her childminder, cried because we are not apparently allowed to feed ducks at the pond any more.
Basically once I admitted I couldn't cope it came pouring out.
I've got an increase of antidepressants and I'm trying hard to just tread water til they kick in, and then I can work out what I'm going to do work wise.

My advice is get signed off and let your body experience all the sadness and grief and whatever it needs to, until you work out what you're going to so.

All the hugs.

Totally agree with @LoobyDoop2 . And I really can relate, as someone with huge worrying tendencies about work, kids similar ages & ailing parents too…. I’ve had previous breakdowns & I really empathise with you.

I promise you can get through this.

1. Small steps.
2. Beware the mind’s ability to catastrophise & ruminate.
3. Tackle work openly with your boss or HR.
4. Arrange some short-notice annual leave (or sign yourself off sick next week).
5. Draw on any help you can with the kids. -
6. Be open with DH about what you need. Have a few days staying with a friend perhaps if possible.
7. Avoid too much alcohol.
8. Try to get some exercise.
9. Prioritise sleep as much as you can (if needs be, buy some drowsy antihistamines over the counter and take before bed).
10. Get into a good book or podcast to try to divert your mind from the worry spiral.
11. Ensure you’re eating enough.
12. Be open with those around you that you’re struggling and need some support
13. Out-source whatever you can & cut corners. It won’t matter in the long run and will decrease your to-do list
14. Lower your high standards for yourself if you can - even temporarily. You ARE good enough.
15. Consider maybe a beta-blocker if you’re feeling crippled by anxiety symptoms
16. Explore the IAPT website for free NHS talking therapy / CBT in your area
17. Call the Samaritans for a listening ear - they’re not purely for suicidal thoughts - they’re very non-judgemental and can help you think through any type of crisis. 116 123.

Above all - I wish you well OP 💐 xx

I’m going to make a slightly different suggestion to other posters. Go to work. Speak to your manager, tell them what has gone wrong and ask for help- to fix the mistake and to adjust your workload and responsibilities so that you are less overwhelmed. Then negotiate some time off, that you will actually be able to relax and recover in. If you just go off sick with this hanging over you it will loom and get bigger in your head and become scarier. Sort it first. Either your boss will step up and support you and it will be ok, or they won’t, and you’ll know it isn’t the right environment for you. Good luck.

Please please find another job. Your kids need you more than any workplace. No job is worth this amount of worry. Also go to your GP and discuss medication to get you through this. Sertraline have been a game changer for me with coping strategies (first two weeks on any SSRI/SRNI can be difficult). This too, will pass.

This was a very similar situation that I was in OP.

I started catastrophizing everything. I couldn't stop going over and over silly mistakes I had made.
My DF was also very ill and it all got to much.

i tried to struggle through, putting off going to the GP.
i ended up having a total breakdown and being admitted to hospital.

Please, please go to your GP and get signed off. Maybe talk to them about medication? It really calmed my mind.

Then find a good therapist, just being able to offload to someone really helps!

Sending you love x

You’ve got a lot on your plate, OP.

It’s not a crime to be overwhelmed - sounds like you’re burned out. Get a GP to sign you off - you need time out asap. Your wellbeing matters x

Oh my dear I'm sorry that your dad is so poorly. You sound absolutely exhausted and at the point of not being able to cope anymore. I think your first phone call in the morning needs to be to your manager and you need to outline to them how awful you are feeling. Self certify as sick and then see your GP and get signed off...work honestly isn't worth making yourself even more ill at a time when you need to focus on your family.

.

Hi OP I would recommend getting a sick note and get time off work for stress. Take the burden off you and spend some precious time with your dad. Don't panic about the mistakes, it's just a mistake. And tbh so many people deliberately do a bad job and still keep their jobs so why do you need to stress about a mistake. Take this as a wake up call, your body is telling you it's all too much.

I’ve been in your situation but for different reasons. Looking back, the mistake I made was not recognising how ill I was getting earlier and thinking I had to struggle on when everything was collapsing around me.I agree with PPs that you should see your GP, get signed off and make a plan with them how to go forward. It’s very frightening to think you are going to lose everything but it was a relief when stopped trying to hold it all together. Can you talk to your husband? He can shoulder the finances and responsibility for the children for a while. It sounds as if you need to go and spend some time with your dad too. You will find your way through this.

You poor love, you need a break from all this stress - please see your GP and get signed off. Speak to your manager at work and own up about the admin worries. They will understand. My mum also has a terminal illness and it's really hard - I'm so worried all the time and find it hard to concentrate on anything else. I've let friendships slide because I don't have the energy to call them for a chat or meet up. You need to look after you, your health is more important than any job. Please talk to your GP 💐

Don't panic about audit . A mistake is a mistake .Put it in perspective. And perhaps this might be an opportunity to change your career position. You have the support of your husband on this.
Your children are OK you are doing an OK job there. Give yourself credit for that.
It must seem so overwhelming at the moment but you can get help. Contact your GP or any other service you can access. If you have health insurance you might be able to access it quicker.
I am sorry about your father . Do you have siblings? Share your feelings with them . It is a very tough time in your life buy with help and support you will get through it. 💐

Hi,

I've been in a similar place to you and I found a lovely private clinical psychologist who helped me. She didn't change me. She just listened and listened and listened as I poured out my problems to her.

I think it would be really great if you could find someone like that. you will need to pay privately and probably see them a few times a year for several years, so it would be worth finding someone good who is local to you.

You need to look for a "compassion-focussed therapist". That means someone who will listen and not judge, but will help you to find your way.

You need to take some time off work- I've been in your shoes and ended up in hospital. You can self cert for the next 7 calendar days by phoning work in the morning. See your GP for support/medication and a sicknote. How open you are with your manager about it is up to you. My workplace is so PC I was given huge amounts of support and eventually returned after a month with some temporary adjustments. I'm still there. I'm not naive enough to think all workplaces are like this though- you may feel better to book annual leave. You sound broken- you will realise the world won't come crashing down if you step away even though it feels like that right now. Prioritise you for once. Bugger work - DH can step up for the DC look after yourself. No job is worth this. Oh and everyone makes mistakes at work- no one is perfect.

You definitely need some time off OP. Spend some of that time with your father and some working out a career path that's more suited to your current life.
I had a very high octane career I loved but I had to change it after having two children. I'd be dead now if I hadn't

No job is worth this! I ran myself into the ground like this only to be made redundant. Maybe reframe it as it’s a wake-up call to make a change for the better. Take time off asap to get some headspace x

You poor thing, you sound totally overwhelmed @pinkpillowlady.

Please see a doctor urgently and get signed off work. Protecting your mental health is your priority and you are no position to be in work at the moment.

Most things that keep us awake at night usually don't happen. Worrying won't help, in fact just the opposite. Work out a plan to sort the admin out. Perhaps speak to your manager. If the worst happens you'll find another job. It's not the end of the world. Nothing is, except the end of the world and we'll worry about that some other time.

Go and see your doctor, go sick for a few weeks, look for a new job when you feel calmer.
Your health and family are your priority.

Do not go in tomorrow. Take care xx