Curfew for 16 year old during summer

You could do quite a lot more to re-earn your parents’ trust here. You’ve said that if your phone is out of charge you can use a friend’s phone to contact them, that your mum texts you, and that if she doesn’t get through then she phones you. That’s just all quite flaky. As a parent I wouldn’t be letting you get the 11pm bus in those circumstances. I suggest if you keep your phone reliably charged at all times, consistently contact your mother proactively every time to tell her what you are doing so that she doesn’t need to text you, text her back immediately if she does text you, and generally don’t let it get to the stage where she needs to phone, you might start to have better luck negotiating the occasional later night.

@takealettermsjones to be fair it is sometimes still light here at 11.15. Still wouldn't want my kid wandering around at that time.

I think it was midnight. And a call to say he was on his way.

Ok this is getting strange now tbh. An 8 year old out at 10:30, an area of Scotland that's apparently light until 23:15, and a 16 year old sleeping over at a 13 year old's house...?

My 16 year old is in bed by 10.30 and I'm one of the more relaxed parents in her friendship group!

😂🤣👌

I lived away at college at 16 and our curfew was 11pm unless our parents signed a waiver

Really??? At 8 mine weren't really out on their own - let alone out after dark. This makes no sense

I have a 16 yo daughter. 11 latest is the time I like her to be home by on a weeknight (in holidays) if she's travelling with friends or we're picking her up. This is mainly because we both work and need to be up early and of course won't go to bed until she's home safe. Sadly we parents are not on holiday.

If we can't pick up and she needs to walk home alone - she has to be back by 10:15. The nearest bus stop is a way off.

I would be ok with 11pm bus assuming that someone waits with you at the stop and if - as you say - the bus stops outside your house and you're home by 11:15 latest.

Weekends I wouldn't want her out too much later tbh - unless she's at a party or some special event - in which case she'd be picked up by us or one of other parents and I would flex to average pick up time based on talking to other parents (they're a reasonable bunch).

I would not be up for regular 1/2am stay outs until she's left home tbh! I'd be ane exhausted old crone.

As PP said, talk to them about how you feel and ask what it is that they're worried about. Do it over snap or email if you feel more comfortable. Stay calm even if they don't change their mind straight away.

You probably need to come back round to the alcohol chat at some point? Is your BF older than you?

At 16 l let my daughters stay out until 11..
I said " I trust you.. but if you betray that trust.. then it's stopping" and to be honest usually they were in long before that.
I was a single parent and they usually had friends over mostly .. was open house and always had someone sleeping over..
One is now a parent of an 19 .. 17 and 16 year old ( all boys).
And the same applies to the 17 year old.
16 year old doesn't go out.. and 19 year old is an adult.. but doesn't go out much.

Mine curfew was the same when I was your age.
So were my sons.
Tough, but that's life.

Assuming your boyfriend is also 16, this would not make me feel that much better as a parent. It's a good instinct, but I'd lead with other things - such as sharing phone location, staying in touch etc.

It does. I can see both sides. Obviously I don't know where you live but some areas are just not safe to be knocking about in at night, for anyone really.

What I would suggest is, think about what compromises you could make, and then present it like a business case. Parents want to know that our kids are making good choices. If we think they won't or can't, that's when we step in and make the choices for them. So if you can show your parents that you're making all the right calls, might they be willing to compromise?

For example, could you:

• start small and ask for just one night at first
• get yourself a personal attack alarm, and show them
• show them the route to the bus stop on Google maps, so they can see it's not far
• share your phone location with them
• text or call them when you get on the bus

Superb typo in the final line!

A few this things to consider

How far is the bus stop from your house etc…

Are you in a group or alone

How close are you to 17 or have you just turned 16…

Your parents will be concerned about you walking home alone past 11pm. If the bus is right beside your house then that’s not so bad but where do you catch the bus from- are you waiting on your own or with friends etc…

As much as it will feel like they are trying to ruin your fun they really won’t be. They’ll love you and want you to be safe. There are some strange people and the later it is, the less likely there will be other people about. We shouldn’t have to think like that but sadly being a female we are more valuable than a man.

oliwiagrzeda · Today 22:33
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 22:30
On the face of it, 11pm bus feels reasonable.

What time would that get you home and how far would your walk in the dark from the bus stop be?
**
I would be home at around 11:10- 11:15 and the bus stop is right outside my house.

In which case, as mum to two now adult people, I think the 11pm bus is perfectly reasonable.

Could you ask your parent(s) to do the journey with you one evening, to put their mind(s) at rest?

The issue for me would be travelling home alone. I wouldn’t have a problem with my 16yo staying up until 11ish now and again, but would not let her travel alone at night. Deal breaker for me.