To have asked nanny to take her shoes off

My Mother attended a grammar school where they had indoor shoes and so we have always taken our shoes off in our home.

As the nanny would be at work I would say that she can wear indoor shoes rather than slippers if she felt she needed to wear them. My own slippers are rip off Ugg ankle boots but I never wear them outside, not even to nip to a bin. I have slip on shoes both by the front and back doors to wear outside for such jobs as does Dh and the children too.

Of course you remove shoes if the place of work is someone's carpeted house and the carpets are clean or new! If you were in an office then of course no, but someones house?! of course!

I don't think anyone who is "shoes on" feels entitled to walk in mud. "Shoes on" people ask if the host minds them taking off their shoes if they've been walking in mud. The argument is over a) the extent to which you worry about invisible germs as opposed to visible mud and b) whether you've been brought up to believe it's rude to start discarding items of clothing in someone else's house without being invited to.

We're a "shoes on" house, but we both have "indoor" shoes and "outdoor" shoes. I'll take a bag out to the bin, or collect some lettuce from the greenhouse, in my indoor shoes, but I won't use them to go and dig in the garden. If someone has got into their car, parked it down the road, walked along the pavement and up our front path to the house, I'm not going to ask them to take their shoes off. If on the other hand they have walked across the park after rain and arrive with mud caked shoes, they (if a shoes on person) will ask me if they should take off their shoes.

Maybe. But if she's not one of them, then she wouldn't want to take that job.

Don't babies go outside any more?

I absolutely would ask the King to take his shoes off if he came to visit, and I would enjoy asking very very much.

OP, if the nanny doesn't want the job because of the shoes off thing then she's not the right nanny for you. The fact that she didn't take off her shoes herself, or at least ask if she should, when she saw that none of you had shoes on, would have been a red flag to me. But shoes off is a cultural thing for me, no one would ever wear shoes in my house (except workers who have to keep safety shoes on) and I would never need to ask because its automatic for everyone. Even if the President came to visit my house I bet he'd take his shoes off without even thinking about it.

People saying they assume that anyone asking for shoes to be removed are going to be anal about their carpets are being ridiculous. Not wanting avoidable mess on the carpet (dirty outdoor shoes) is not the same as being intolerant of accidental, unavoidable mess.

All you can infer from being asked to take your shoes off is that the parents will be angry if you damage their carpets in a foreseeable and preventable way. Which isn't unreasonable at all.

@Bluegreenyellowredorange if you are that petty about shoes you should have offered a pair of slippers/flip flops/ socks to put on

I would not have taken the job either.

Why do you think you're entitled to walk in dirt, mud and germs onto people's carpet which they keep clean?

Also.. if you're going to someone's house for the first time, do you check with them to see if you're allowed shoes on or not?

Isn't that pretty standard - to expect to remove your shoes when entering someone's home? We don't have any carpets at all, but I still ask everyone who comes in to either remove their shoes or use shoe covers.

It'd be strange if she was offended by it.

Her not getting back in touch may have nothing to do with the shoes. It could be that she didn't gel with you, has had a better offer, or perhaps is away. There's lots of reasons.

This. It’s definitely a class/manners thing.

We have hard floors downstairs and a robot hoover/mop so they are always spotless and cleaned at least daily. It’s rare for a guest to go upstairs unless they’re staying as we have a downstairs loo. I usually wear slippers but that’s more of a comfort thing.

Do people live in very dirty areas to be constantly treading in dog shit/fag buts and then not noticing to potentially tramp them through the house? Dirty shoes are washed in the utility and left to dry before being worn again.

I've honestly never been to someone's house where you're expected to take off your shoes. If someone's wearing sandals are they expected to be barefoot? I'd be really uncomfortable with the idea.

When we wwre interviewing for our nanny I didn't ask interviewees to take shoes off. However, most of them either just did it because we did or asked our preference. I said I would prefer it as our 9 month old twins were crawling and eating everything they could get their hands on. I'm not precious about my carpets!

If she's not a fit, it's best for everyone that you find out soon. She'll be in your house raising your kids, so you need to make sure she's on the same page as you.

For what it's worth, the lady we chose was the one who immediate for down and sat on the floor with my babies andsmiled lots and waited for them to be curious and come to her. I don't give a damn about shoes, I want someone who will cherish my children. They love her to bits 3 years on, as do my other 2 children.

Choose someone you like who will be the person you want to be with your children. Don't feel bad if people you interview don't want the job. It's not a judgement of your value or your children, just a sign that the nanny isn't a good fitfor you. That's ok. Keep looking until you find someone that is.

I'd say it was unreasonable of her not to automatically take her shoes off when she saw your family doing so.

I’m a nanny, she should have offered- I would always take mine off at the door.

She’s either ridiculous, too sensitive or not as experienced as she wants you to think she is. This is not an unusual thing, taking shoes off when entering someone’s house is a bit of a minimum consideration imo, as at an interview stage she should be trying even harder to make a good impression.

I’d expect anyone working, especially if they may do physical tasks like cooking or cleaning, to wear closed in shoes in their workplace.

But then I don’t really understand why people on Mumsnet who seem to be surrounded by an endless parade of people walking dog shit into their home still have carpets.

If you are a household that remove shoes I don't think it's an issue job interview or not. Maybe she doesn't like it, maybe it was something else

It could signal you being overly precious as employers. It’s a bit of a daft reason to turn down an otherwise good job offer, but if she has other interviews then she doesn’t need to compromise.

Good nanny's are in high demand, it doesn't take much to sway one way or the other. A nanny once turned us down because we were in a flat and she had another job offer in a house, which she preferred.

I'm a nanny and this wouldn't bother me at all. More than likely there was something else she didn't like about the job I'm afraid.

If that is the reason and she is ghosting you/refusing the job because she was asked to take her shoes off then I think you've dodged a bullet as that tells of her difficult personality. Find someone who isn't offended by such a minor thing

Your house, your rules.

I do the same thing and don't want anyone with shoes on in my house.

You can provide slippers at the entrance. When workmen come in I also provide them with shoe covers.

Very common to have a no shoe policy in the house...

It really is not hygienic, not to mention messy, to have people walk on carpets and flooring in general with dirty shoes.

Pavements are full of dog shit, old chewing gums and the likes and I don't want that in my house.

I always ask people before entering a house whether they would like me to remove my shoes or not, it is just polite.

Your nanny not doing that means I would not employ her as you obviously both have different standards.

'@BeaRF75
It is very vulgar to ask someone to remove their shoes.'

Nope, it isn't.

It is also standard requirement in many, many cultures, for example that's what people do in Japan, China, Finland, Sweden, Austria...

You are just showing your ignorance.

Shoes off!
I cannot imagine the state of the floors in a shoes on household.
Must be completely filthy.
Actually I can my neighbours are shoes on and their carpets are grim.
I've got a robot hoover and it runs everyday between proper vacuuming, the crap that it fills with is unreal and that's with shoes off!

So dirty to wear outside shoes indoors and uncomfortable,just wear slippers

I once went for an interview for a carer's job. It was held at the Manager's house. She asked me to take my shoes off. The floors were wooden.

I should have left, there and then, but stayed and completed the interview. I felt belittled, uncomfortable and very awkward. She offered me the job, later that day - I turned it down.

It is very vulgar to ask someone to remove their shoes. If the King came, would you ask him? I don't want to see people's socks or bare feet. My floors/carpets are far less important than my guests' comfort, and I would hope we'd all treat guests that way (tho I know it doesn't happen).

Yup!