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Original poster

To have asked nanny to take her shoes off

259 replies

Bluegreenyellowredorange · 02/07/2024 20:54

My husband and I decided to employ a nanny for our 2 DC ages 1 and 5. This will be the first time we've used a nanny.

We interviewed a lady on Saturday. She arrived just as we’d got home from a walk and as usual we all took our shoes off as we came in. She left hers on though and my husband asked her to take them off when she walked into the living room. I’ll be honest it was a little awkward as I think it took her by surprise. They are newish carpets so I can see where he is coming from but I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it myself. I guess most people don’t expect to take their shoes off in an interview (even though it’s a house and not an office?).

Anyway, the interview went well and she had plenty of experience and qualifications and I’ve tried to contact her (yesterday and today) to arrange a taster session but she hasn’t got back to me. It’s such a minor thing but I’m guessing it put her off. I can’t think of anything else.

Did we do something wrong?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 02/07/2024 21:38

I’d see it as a sign you’d be precious and wouldn’t want the hassle.

WimpoleHat · 02/07/2024 21:37

How did he ask her? Was it a barked instruction, or was it a more polite “would you mind….?”. Sometimes it’s not the request but the tone of it which is off putting.

Maelil01 · 02/07/2024 21:36

Gardenschmarden99 · 02/07/2024 21:02

Really? Everyone I know takes their shoes off when they come in. I think it’s the standard thing to do rather than some weird aberration.

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It’s definitely not!

Melisha · 02/07/2024 21:34

sprigatito · 02/07/2024 21:07

Job that involves being responsible for messy young children + parents who are finicky about their carpets to the point where they are happy to make visitors feel uncomfortable? No thanks.

This would be my worry if I was her. It is almost impossible to stop young children making a mess inside a house if you are doing your job properly.

FuzzyStripes · 02/07/2024 21:33

Good nannies are hard to get and in huge demand. An interview is often more for them to decide if they want to work for you than the other way round.

It could be anything that put her off but I can see why she would have concerns about parents who have two young children and worries about their carpet.

Dampshinygrass · 02/07/2024 21:29

I don’t go to anyone’s house without offering shoes off. And no one (guest or tradie) arrives without offering to take their shoes off.

I actually think the fact that it’s a nanny job for a crawling baby is even more reason to take them off. If you’d taken the nanny on a tour of the house and shown her into a carpeted nursery then absolutely she should not have shoes on.

AGoingConcern · 02/07/2024 21:28

Honestly (unless your husband's tone was abrasive) I would assume her expression was more a) concern that she had accidentally misstepped in a job interview and b) quickly thinking about the state of her feet/socks/toe polish. Her delay getting back to you is more likely to be down to her having other offers/interviews or the fit not feeling right for her. I think putting it down to something so small as asking for shoes to come off is unlikely to be realistic.

stayathomer · 02/07/2024 21:26

She may just have not seen your calls/ messages for some reason to do with her phone or something- it’s only two days, I wouldn’t assume a no yet

DaveWatts · 02/07/2024 21:15

Speaking as a former nanny this would strike me as perfectly normal - lots of families have a no shoes rule in the house. If you have the sort of job that involves working in other people's houses then you follow their rules, that's how it goes!

mondaytosunday · 02/07/2024 21:14

You should tell people before they come that you have a shoes off policy in your house.

AthenaBasil · 02/07/2024 21:14

Funkyfizz · 02/07/2024 21:04

i'd imagine that they had lots of rules regarding their precious carpets etc so it would be a no from me.

Like what? What other rules would they have regarding their carpets? Taking shoes off in a home is not universal but pretty common and not a sign of anything strange.

thistimelastweek · 02/07/2024 21:11

Mum2jenny · 02/07/2024 21:01

I would not visit a house if I had to remove my footwear. As for going for employment in a person’s house, I would not consider it.
People that tend to enforce such rules are people with other very alternative perceptions, obviously not everyone but I’d avoid like the plague….

Seriously?
Workmen, tradesmen!, handymen who visit my home make a big deal of the protective plastic slippers to protect my carpets.
It's not odd.

Marylou62 · 02/07/2024 21:10

As a nanny who interviewed shoeless (I wasn't asked to remove them but noticed the parent who met me on the drive and took their shoes off on entering the house) I don't find this odd at all.. I wear my own slippers in their house.
If she finds it odd then she's not the nanny for you..
Ps.. I remove my shoes in everyone's house!

LadyFeatheringt0n · 02/07/2024 21:09

Everyone i know removes shoes though, excepting v posh Dmil.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2024 21:09

Branleuse · 02/07/2024 21:06

I dont know about nannys, but when working in care, we have to wear shoes when working. Maybe same rules.
Maybe she's taken it as a sign that youll be a bit precious.

This. We don't take our shoes off at work.

There are shoe covers for workers OP. Or interview in non-carpeted areas.

LadyFeatheringt0n · 02/07/2024 21:09

Yeah i find it really weird when people wear outdoor shoes on carpet indoors, I'd be put off too. Its grim.

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/07/2024 21:08

JMSA · 02/07/2024 21:07

It's simply not appropriate at a job interview though.

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Why? The carpets are the same and the shoes are the same.

JMSA · 02/07/2024 21:07

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/07/2024 21:05

I’ve viewed a few properties recently (to purchase) and always removed shoes to go inside. I’d say it’s pretty normal if you have carpets to expect people to take their shoes off.

It's simply not appropriate at a job interview though.

sprigatito · 02/07/2024 21:07

Job that involves being responsible for messy young children + parents who are finicky about their carpets to the point where they are happy to make visitors feel uncomfortable? No thanks.

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/07/2024 21:06

Gardenschmarden99 · 02/07/2024 21:02

Really? Everyone I know takes their shoes off when they come in. I think it’s the standard thing to do rather than some weird aberration.

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Agreed and I’m really not a clean freak in the slightest (could really do with being a bit more of a clean freak if I’m honest).

AnnaMagnani · 02/07/2024 21:06

Honestly think it was weird she didn't offer to take her shoes off at the door.

Some people have shoes on houses, some have shoes off. For bizarre reasons people on each side feel intensely passionately that the other side are wrong.

Branleuse · 02/07/2024 21:06

I dont know about nannys, but when working in care, we have to wear shoes when working. Maybe same rules.
Maybe she's taken it as a sign that youll be a bit precious.

Purplecatshopaholic · 02/07/2024 21:05

Mum2jenny · 02/07/2024 21:01

I would not visit a house if I had to remove my footwear. As for going for employment in a person’s house, I would not consider it.
People that tend to enforce such rules are people with other very alternative perceptions, obviously not everyone but I’d avoid like the plague….

Exactly, Your choice to ask her. Her choice to think it’s batshit and take a job elsewhere..

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/07/2024 21:05

I’ve viewed a few properties recently (to purchase) and always removed shoes to go inside. I’d say it’s pretty normal if you have carpets to expect people to take their shoes off.

Funkyfizz · 02/07/2024 21:04

i'd imagine that they had lots of rules regarding their precious carpets etc so it would be a no from me.